Fear
Title: Fear
Characters/Pairings: Azkadellia
Author: transgenic_girl
Rated: PG
Spoilers/Warnings: Immediately post series
Summary: What Az fears the most is not what everyone thinks.
Disclaimer: Tin Man belongs originally to Frank Baum, modified by Sci Fi (as well as just about everyone else). I'm just following their examples and playing in the O.Z.
Az doesn’t admit it, not even to her mother, but it is not the Witch or Zero who scares her the most. Although, by all the gods, they absolutely terrify her. It is the fact that she just knows that, eventually, she would have stopped caring what was being done in her body. Done with her body. That eventually she would have lost all her humanity by just allowing it to happen, without her screaming within her own head.
It scares her. Scares her so much it hurts to breathe sometimes.
How long would it have taken? Another ten annuals? Five? One? When would that point have come that she would have given up forever? Given up on the slim hope that she had clung to for fifteen long annuals, of someone coming and saving her. No one came that day in the cave. There had been no rescue when she had been just twelve annuals old.
And it had looked as if none would ever come. Her sister had been killed, killed by her own hand. Her father fled, the man who she had adored with hero worship in her wide brown eyes. And her mother, well the Witch had locked away her mother where she could never help Az.
It occurs to her, as she sits on the white marble bench in the gardens, face downcast in the light. It occurs to her, that if she had not been saved the night she had, the next day would have been her end, and not one she would have been able to come back from. There would have been nothing to come back to.
And no one to come back.
Characters/Pairings: Azkadellia
Author: transgenic_girl
Rated: PG
Spoilers/Warnings: Immediately post series
Summary: What Az fears the most is not what everyone thinks.
Disclaimer: Tin Man belongs originally to Frank Baum, modified by Sci Fi (as well as just about everyone else). I'm just following their examples and playing in the O.Z.
Az doesn’t admit it, not even to her mother, but it is not the Witch or Zero who scares her the most. Although, by all the gods, they absolutely terrify her. It is the fact that she just knows that, eventually, she would have stopped caring what was being done in her body. Done with her body. That eventually she would have lost all her humanity by just allowing it to happen, without her screaming within her own head.
It scares her. Scares her so much it hurts to breathe sometimes.
How long would it have taken? Another ten annuals? Five? One? When would that point have come that she would have given up forever? Given up on the slim hope that she had clung to for fifteen long annuals, of someone coming and saving her. No one came that day in the cave. There had been no rescue when she had been just twelve annuals old.
And it had looked as if none would ever come. Her sister had been killed, killed by her own hand. Her father fled, the man who she had adored with hero worship in her wide brown eyes. And her mother, well the Witch had locked away her mother where she could never help Az.
It occurs to her, as she sits on the white marble bench in the gardens, face downcast in the light. It occurs to her, that if she had not been saved the night she had, the next day would have been her end, and not one she would have been able to come back from. There would have been nothing to come back to.
And no one to come back.