A question for those who transitioned on the job

[fullcontactmuse]

For those of you two transitioned while on the job, at what stage in your transition did you inform your employer and, in hind sight, how did that go for you? Did it work for you or do you wish you would have done it earlier or later?

Thanks!

Comments

It's very individual but here goes (part one)

[auslanderin01]

I am a management consultant in the UK, largely working in the public sector. I have worked for a family firm of around 70 people, owned by the founder (Mike) and his two daughters (Kathryn and Frances), for nineteen years. This is a story of transition over decades: so long that I will tell it in tWo halves.

PART ONE - DISCLOSURE

The 1990s

I displayed disproportionate anger at work, back in 1994, and the managing director, rather than disciplining me, recommended that I see the private GP retained by the company. The GP referred me to a psychiatrist and I embarked on a long course of psychotherapy at the company's expense. It did my career no harm (in fact, it was the time of fastest progression).

2000

Eventually I discovered enough about myself to be able to tell others. I disclosed to one of the owners (Kathryn) ten years ago: she was immediately supportive. And I gradually disclosed to colleagues over the years, as the right moment arose. All but one were supportive (and he didn't matter). At this stage, I had made no noticeable changes in appearance or identity: it was more of a "here's who I am and here's how it feels" thing. A number of my colleagues have been my close friends and supporters over the years, and I love them.

2008

Two and a half years ago, I found I couldn't cope any more with remaining in a male role - and it was a colleague on whose shoulder I cried. Soon after that, I spoke to the same member of the owner's family, about the pain and what I might do about it. Kathryn was worried about me: that I seemed to be caring about everyone else but myself. She said she'd support me in whatever I needed to do.

2009

As it was becoming more and more obvious that 'something wasn't right' (largely, my emotional response to situations), I chose to tell all my colleagues. I did this by attending a meeting of the 'unit leaders' (we're a non-hierarchical company but we were organised into small social units to aid cohesion and communication) and explaining my situation to them. The response was wonderfully supportive. Each of the unit leaders then spoke to members of their units - either face to face or on the phone - and then let me know about the response. Once again, only one colleague really didn't get it (he did later, in spades).

2010

Like most management consultants, I earn my fees by working in other organisations. At the time, I was working on the Crossrail project, a new £16bn railway in London. My role was fairly high profile, and I have to trade on my reputation, so there was no chance of doing it quietly. I had already disclosed to a few of the clients' staff, as they had become friends. One of these was Dawn, the HR manager. She knew me quite well, and had met my wife socially (we shared a table at a work dinner). Dawn's main worries were for my peace of mind and for my family: she was, throughout my transition, a rock, a wonder.

PART TWO - TRANSITION