A curious question...
I happen to be a tad enamored with psychological studies and the curious workings of the human brain. Given my nature, I have a unique interest in the psychology behind sexuality, sexual identities, and gender identity. I also believe that there are certain things that people can sense on an instinctual level, even if they are unable to articulate them on an intellectual one.
Let me give you a little backstory: Tristan, my partner, is a trans man. He's only recently fully realized an embraced this part of him. A few years ago, before his revelation (when he still believed he was a girl), he attracted the affection of another girl who had, up until that point, identified as a straight woman.
When he told this story to me, I realized that I (also a trans man), too, had attracted the affection of a straight-identifying woman. Years and years ago, back when I was a freshman in high school and dealing with a confusing sexuality, my best friend at the time confessed her feelings for me, and while previously identifying as straight, she assumed she was somewhat bisexual due to her feelings for me.
Oddly enough, the attraction between Tristan and I came about in much the same manner: I, while knowing I was trans, also identified as a gay man, and balked at the idea of getting involved with a woman. Tristan, while not knowing he was trans at the time, had assumed he was a lesbian, and was confused at his feelings for a man. Despite this, we did get involved, and he since realized both his gender and his sexual identity (male and demisexual), which ended up neatly explaining both of us and our initially confusing attraction to one another.
As I was talking to a mutual friend about these incidents, I noted that it would be interesting to see if other trans people had experienced similar situations. While I'd love to be able to do a full-scale study on this, I lack the resources, so the next best thing would be to pose this inquiry to this community.
The inquiry is this: Have you attracted the affections of somebody who otherwise did not consider themselves attracted to your perceived (not your actual) gender? Was this before you yourself realized that you were trans? Was it after realization, but before coming out? After coming out but before passing?
Have you been attracted to somebody who was perceived to fall outside of your sexual preference, only to realize later that the person actually identified with the gender of your preference?
I'm curious to hear other peoples stories regarding similar experiences. I believe that there is something innate regarding sexual and gender identity, and that it is strong enough that other people are able to sense it instinctively, even if they are unable to articulate it.
Let me give you a little backstory: Tristan, my partner, is a trans man. He's only recently fully realized an embraced this part of him. A few years ago, before his revelation (when he still believed he was a girl), he attracted the affection of another girl who had, up until that point, identified as a straight woman.
When he told this story to me, I realized that I (also a trans man), too, had attracted the affection of a straight-identifying woman. Years and years ago, back when I was a freshman in high school and dealing with a confusing sexuality, my best friend at the time confessed her feelings for me, and while previously identifying as straight, she assumed she was somewhat bisexual due to her feelings for me.
Oddly enough, the attraction between Tristan and I came about in much the same manner: I, while knowing I was trans, also identified as a gay man, and balked at the idea of getting involved with a woman. Tristan, while not knowing he was trans at the time, had assumed he was a lesbian, and was confused at his feelings for a man. Despite this, we did get involved, and he since realized both his gender and his sexual identity (male and demisexual), which ended up neatly explaining both of us and our initially confusing attraction to one another.
As I was talking to a mutual friend about these incidents, I noted that it would be interesting to see if other trans people had experienced similar situations. While I'd love to be able to do a full-scale study on this, I lack the resources, so the next best thing would be to pose this inquiry to this community.
The inquiry is this: Have you attracted the affections of somebody who otherwise did not consider themselves attracted to your perceived (not your actual) gender? Was this before you yourself realized that you were trans? Was it after realization, but before coming out? After coming out but before passing?
Have you been attracted to somebody who was perceived to fall outside of your sexual preference, only to realize later that the person actually identified with the gender of your preference?
I'm curious to hear other peoples stories regarding similar experiences. I believe that there is something innate regarding sexual and gender identity, and that it is strong enough that other people are able to sense it instinctively, even if they are unable to articulate it.