Can regular sex 'repair' a prolapsed neovagina???
Hi,
my (nick)name is squiggle. Some of you on here may already know me from TransLondon meetings. Some of you might know me very well, and might therefore know that I am neutrois and (grey) asexual, and that I come from the UK, and live in London. (If you don't know what grey A is look it up on the asexuality visibility and education network faq). Rather than transitioning directly from male to neutrois like my friend andrajames was able to, at the time I transitioned (1997) the best I could do in my circumstances was to transition from male to female and hope for the best. Obtaining appropriate treatment as a neutrois patient, was at that time impossible, both in the NHS and private sectors. If I had been out as neutrois at the time I would not have been able to obtain either HRT, penectomy, orchidectomy, and clitoroplasty in a clinical setting. Moreover I would have been forced to live in such a way where I would have continued to have been poisoned by the testosterone my body was producing. So I transitioned in the private sector.
Thinking in good faith that it would provide a solution I ended up having conventional SRS including a vaginoplasty, that I have not used. This surgery was performed ten years ago. The penectomy, cliteroplasty, and orchidectomy aspects of my surgery were all successful, and I continue to be happy with these aspects of the surgery. However the vaginoplasty aspect of the surgery was/is another story. I thoroughly regret that aspect of my surgery. Not only that, it was also a failure. I had my surgery in spring 1999. In the autumn of that year I experienced a neovaginal prolapse. The skin lining the posterior wall of my neovagina prolapsed, along with about 1/2 of the skin that lined the anterior wall, resulting in a section of the lining of the neovagina protruding from the entrance.
At the time I pursued several avenues with regard to obtaining reparative surgery, via two NHS gender clinics, and with the surgeon who had privately performed my surgery. However none of these avenues proved fruitful. At one NHS gender clinic where I was examined, a surgeon who examined me merely pushed the prolapsed skin back inside me, and told me that there was 'no problem', and that there was 'nothing to see'. At another NHS clinic, during an appointment with a gatekeeper?/psychiatrist dated May 2000 I was told that they would be unable to refer me for appropriate reparative surgery as a result of having 'opted out of their care' when I transitioned; -'opted out of their care' being an interesting choice of words because as a result of my having lived at the time in a PCT area that summarily refused to fund gender reassignment I had no option other than to go privately, or recieve no treatment at all.
Prior to this, in November 1999 I saw my surgeon with regard to the prolapse. At that time he said that it was 'borderline' whether or not I should be re-admitted into hospital to have the problem surgically sorted out. He said that he was concerned that had I had reparative surgery at that point in time I would have lost considerable vaginal depth, and thus was reluctant to carry out surgery, which, had it been carried out, would have been at my own cost. He told me that, had I had the financial resources he would have been happy to have performed immediate remedial surgery on me, as a private patient, on a date that had already been provisionally booked by the private hospital for mid March 2000. However, as a student, at the time I did not have the necessary financial resources and was thus not able to have the problem surgically remedied in this way.
At the time he pointed out that the condition should be monitored closely (It has since not been monitored closely either by the NHS or by private clinicians). Given my circumstances my surgeon, (who also did work for the NHS) told me that I should simply try to live with the discomfort and pain of the prolapse as best I could. Initially the prolapse was very painful. When it first happened I experienced a stabbing pain inside me, as the skin gradually began to protrude. Initially an inch and a half of skin protruded at all times. It caught on my underwear and oozed sticky clear or white discharge -a sign of infection. Often the protruding skin was itchy and/or inflamed. It was imposible to dilate. It would have been impossibly painful for me to have had penetrative sex with a man (if I hadn't been asexual) because the skin of the vagina was hanging out. For the past ten years in order to prevent the recurrent infection of the area from getting too bad I have been using betadine ointment on twice weekly basis. Over time the amount of skin that protruded from the neovagina gradually reduced as the lining gradually shrunk as a result of not dilating. (I was unable to dilate anyway, as a result of the problem.) This is how I have been dealing with a neovaginal prolapse for ten years, believing that I could not get it fixed through the national health service.
In 1999 my surgeon told me that it would be 'a matter of course' until further remedial surgery would be needed. He felt that given my then current financial situation (I was a student at the time), appropriate follow up, including future surgery, would be best provided by a NHS gender clinic. At the time I did thus obtain a referral to an NHS gender clinic, where I am still on the books as being 'under their care'. However I reiterate that they refused to carry out appropriate reparative surgery in the immediate aftermath of the surgery. At the time I was told that the NHS could not surgically treat conditions that had occured as a result of surgery that had been performed in the private sector. However it has recently come to my attention that given a change in policy by central government the NHS can now carry out reparative surgery.
In order for doctors to avoid treating my prolapse they have periodically referred to the prolapse as a 'small intravaginal lump' rather than acknowledge the fact that what has actually been protruding was and is the posterior wall of the neovagina. This in opinion constitutes a deliberate clinical misdiagnosis of a physical health problem. I am currently considering legal action to ensure that my prolapse is, amongst other things properly diagnosed in future correspondence.
In 2000 at an appointment at an NHS gender identity clinic I spoke to a psychiatrist in the hope that the NHS could remedy a problem that my surgeon would have been prepared to have treat on a private basis.
I was refused help, and I feel was not offered any sympathy whatsoever by the clinical psychiatrist concerned. At the appointment his tone was in my mind both patronising and abusive. He seemed flippant with regard to the predicament I found myself in. Whilst I have technically remained a patient of that gender clinic I have had no contact with the clinic since August 2000 -a gap of nearly ten years...
Currently I have approximately three inches of neovaginal skin left, compared with an initial depth of approximately five inches. If I am upside down I can push these three inches of skin inside me. If I am standing up the skin protrudes, although not to the same extent it used to. When I am standing up I can push my finger inside me to a depth of 3/4 of an inch on the anterior side of the prolapse. On the posterior side of the prolapse I have no depth whatosover left. Currently the skin is just 'bunched up' around the entrance to this sorry excuse for a neovagina. On the anterior side there the lining is no longer attached beyond a row of internal sutures in the vicinity of my pubic bone.
Dealing with constant infections resulting in itching, and burning sensations has been very uncomfortable.
I have had issues with internal friction between what remains of the neovagina and the protruding lining, which resembles a small balloon. The skin has thus been red raw for ten years, and potentially its healing capabilities have been severely compromised. The state of my genitals has thus been a source of dysphoria for a long time. For a long time clinical depression as a direct result of the NHS's refusal to treat me for what constitutes a physical health issue. I sincerely hope that things have since changed.
Also I have experienced dysphoria as a result of being neutrois (ie I positively identify as neither male nor female and I do not want any primary or secondary sexual characteristics, male or female). Internally I identified as such before I transitioned, and in truth only transitioned because I wanted rid of the male primary and secondary sexual characteristics I possessed. I was certainly successful in getting rid of my penis and testicles. However having a vagina was not appropriate for me. Even if the surgery had been a technical success I would have been unhappy with having a vagina. Getting rid of my male sexual characteristics was appropriate. Gaining new female primary and secondary sexual characteristics was inappropriate. I have never identified with having a vagina, even during the brief period before it prolapsed. The neovagina was for me a mistake, but the best I could do under the circumstances becuase it seemed the only alternative was to go to a 'cutter'.
To cut a long story short, in addition to expereincing the considerable physical and psychological pain, discomfort and distress associated with a neovaginal prolapse, I have expereinced these things in relation to a body part that I do not identify with. This has resulted in a decade of severe body dysphoria.
The worst aspect of this I ever expereinced was when my surgeon told me, in November 1999, at the appointment where he acknowledged I had a physical problem. Having pushed the protruding skin back inside me using a speculum he told me that in the interim the situation (ie the protruding skin of the prolapse) could be remedied by regular heterosexual vaginal sex. In other words 'get fucked', although he did not use those words... -I would really like to know if anybody on this forum has suffered a prolapse like I suffered and has managed to repair it in this way??? -Or was my surgeon just talking a load of crap?
Heterosexual intercourse was inappropriate for me because I am asexual and do not identify with having a vagina and so not an option.
Given the situation I currently find myself in I feel that as a neutrois person the best course of action would be for me to have my neovagina removed and in its place to simply have smooth skin, like my friend Andra who is physically neutrois, -and has acheived the kind of surgical solution I wished I could have had. Basically I want to keep my clit, take low dosage oestrogen, have no facial or body hair, get rid of my breasts and get rid of my neovagina.
my (nick)name is squiggle. Some of you on here may already know me from TransLondon meetings. Some of you might know me very well, and might therefore know that I am neutrois and (grey) asexual, and that I come from the UK, and live in London. (If you don't know what grey A is look it up on the asexuality visibility and education network faq). Rather than transitioning directly from male to neutrois like my friend andrajames was able to, at the time I transitioned (1997) the best I could do in my circumstances was to transition from male to female and hope for the best. Obtaining appropriate treatment as a neutrois patient, was at that time impossible, both in the NHS and private sectors. If I had been out as neutrois at the time I would not have been able to obtain either HRT, penectomy, orchidectomy, and clitoroplasty in a clinical setting. Moreover I would have been forced to live in such a way where I would have continued to have been poisoned by the testosterone my body was producing. So I transitioned in the private sector.
Thinking in good faith that it would provide a solution I ended up having conventional SRS including a vaginoplasty, that I have not used. This surgery was performed ten years ago. The penectomy, cliteroplasty, and orchidectomy aspects of my surgery were all successful, and I continue to be happy with these aspects of the surgery. However the vaginoplasty aspect of the surgery was/is another story. I thoroughly regret that aspect of my surgery. Not only that, it was also a failure. I had my surgery in spring 1999. In the autumn of that year I experienced a neovaginal prolapse. The skin lining the posterior wall of my neovagina prolapsed, along with about 1/2 of the skin that lined the anterior wall, resulting in a section of the lining of the neovagina protruding from the entrance.
At the time I pursued several avenues with regard to obtaining reparative surgery, via two NHS gender clinics, and with the surgeon who had privately performed my surgery. However none of these avenues proved fruitful. At one NHS gender clinic where I was examined, a surgeon who examined me merely pushed the prolapsed skin back inside me, and told me that there was 'no problem', and that there was 'nothing to see'. At another NHS clinic, during an appointment with a gatekeeper?/psychiatrist dated May 2000 I was told that they would be unable to refer me for appropriate reparative surgery as a result of having 'opted out of their care' when I transitioned; -'opted out of their care' being an interesting choice of words because as a result of my having lived at the time in a PCT area that summarily refused to fund gender reassignment I had no option other than to go privately, or recieve no treatment at all.
Prior to this, in November 1999 I saw my surgeon with regard to the prolapse. At that time he said that it was 'borderline' whether or not I should be re-admitted into hospital to have the problem surgically sorted out. He said that he was concerned that had I had reparative surgery at that point in time I would have lost considerable vaginal depth, and thus was reluctant to carry out surgery, which, had it been carried out, would have been at my own cost. He told me that, had I had the financial resources he would have been happy to have performed immediate remedial surgery on me, as a private patient, on a date that had already been provisionally booked by the private hospital for mid March 2000. However, as a student, at the time I did not have the necessary financial resources and was thus not able to have the problem surgically remedied in this way.
At the time he pointed out that the condition should be monitored closely (It has since not been monitored closely either by the NHS or by private clinicians). Given my circumstances my surgeon, (who also did work for the NHS) told me that I should simply try to live with the discomfort and pain of the prolapse as best I could. Initially the prolapse was very painful. When it first happened I experienced a stabbing pain inside me, as the skin gradually began to protrude. Initially an inch and a half of skin protruded at all times. It caught on my underwear and oozed sticky clear or white discharge -a sign of infection. Often the protruding skin was itchy and/or inflamed. It was imposible to dilate. It would have been impossibly painful for me to have had penetrative sex with a man (if I hadn't been asexual) because the skin of the vagina was hanging out. For the past ten years in order to prevent the recurrent infection of the area from getting too bad I have been using betadine ointment on twice weekly basis. Over time the amount of skin that protruded from the neovagina gradually reduced as the lining gradually shrunk as a result of not dilating. (I was unable to dilate anyway, as a result of the problem.) This is how I have been dealing with a neovaginal prolapse for ten years, believing that I could not get it fixed through the national health service.
In 1999 my surgeon told me that it would be 'a matter of course' until further remedial surgery would be needed. He felt that given my then current financial situation (I was a student at the time), appropriate follow up, including future surgery, would be best provided by a NHS gender clinic. At the time I did thus obtain a referral to an NHS gender clinic, where I am still on the books as being 'under their care'. However I reiterate that they refused to carry out appropriate reparative surgery in the immediate aftermath of the surgery. At the time I was told that the NHS could not surgically treat conditions that had occured as a result of surgery that had been performed in the private sector. However it has recently come to my attention that given a change in policy by central government the NHS can now carry out reparative surgery.
In order for doctors to avoid treating my prolapse they have periodically referred to the prolapse as a 'small intravaginal lump' rather than acknowledge the fact that what has actually been protruding was and is the posterior wall of the neovagina. This in opinion constitutes a deliberate clinical misdiagnosis of a physical health problem. I am currently considering legal action to ensure that my prolapse is, amongst other things properly diagnosed in future correspondence.
In 2000 at an appointment at an NHS gender identity clinic I spoke to a psychiatrist in the hope that the NHS could remedy a problem that my surgeon would have been prepared to have treat on a private basis.
I was refused help, and I feel was not offered any sympathy whatsoever by the clinical psychiatrist concerned. At the appointment his tone was in my mind both patronising and abusive. He seemed flippant with regard to the predicament I found myself in. Whilst I have technically remained a patient of that gender clinic I have had no contact with the clinic since August 2000 -a gap of nearly ten years...
Currently I have approximately three inches of neovaginal skin left, compared with an initial depth of approximately five inches. If I am upside down I can push these three inches of skin inside me. If I am standing up the skin protrudes, although not to the same extent it used to. When I am standing up I can push my finger inside me to a depth of 3/4 of an inch on the anterior side of the prolapse. On the posterior side of the prolapse I have no depth whatosover left. Currently the skin is just 'bunched up' around the entrance to this sorry excuse for a neovagina. On the anterior side there the lining is no longer attached beyond a row of internal sutures in the vicinity of my pubic bone.
Dealing with constant infections resulting in itching, and burning sensations has been very uncomfortable.
I have had issues with internal friction between what remains of the neovagina and the protruding lining, which resembles a small balloon. The skin has thus been red raw for ten years, and potentially its healing capabilities have been severely compromised. The state of my genitals has thus been a source of dysphoria for a long time. For a long time clinical depression as a direct result of the NHS's refusal to treat me for what constitutes a physical health issue. I sincerely hope that things have since changed.
Also I have experienced dysphoria as a result of being neutrois (ie I positively identify as neither male nor female and I do not want any primary or secondary sexual characteristics, male or female). Internally I identified as such before I transitioned, and in truth only transitioned because I wanted rid of the male primary and secondary sexual characteristics I possessed. I was certainly successful in getting rid of my penis and testicles. However having a vagina was not appropriate for me. Even if the surgery had been a technical success I would have been unhappy with having a vagina. Getting rid of my male sexual characteristics was appropriate. Gaining new female primary and secondary sexual characteristics was inappropriate. I have never identified with having a vagina, even during the brief period before it prolapsed. The neovagina was for me a mistake, but the best I could do under the circumstances becuase it seemed the only alternative was to go to a 'cutter'.
To cut a long story short, in addition to expereincing the considerable physical and psychological pain, discomfort and distress associated with a neovaginal prolapse, I have expereinced these things in relation to a body part that I do not identify with. This has resulted in a decade of severe body dysphoria.
The worst aspect of this I ever expereinced was when my surgeon told me, in November 1999, at the appointment where he acknowledged I had a physical problem. Having pushed the protruding skin back inside me using a speculum he told me that in the interim the situation (ie the protruding skin of the prolapse) could be remedied by regular heterosexual vaginal sex. In other words 'get fucked', although he did not use those words... -I would really like to know if anybody on this forum has suffered a prolapse like I suffered and has managed to repair it in this way??? -Or was my surgeon just talking a load of crap?
Heterosexual intercourse was inappropriate for me because I am asexual and do not identify with having a vagina and so not an option.
Given the situation I currently find myself in I feel that as a neutrois person the best course of action would be for me to have my neovagina removed and in its place to simply have smooth skin, like my friend Andra who is physically neutrois, -and has acheived the kind of surgical solution I wished I could have had. Basically I want to keep my clit, take low dosage oestrogen, have no facial or body hair, get rid of my breasts and get rid of my neovagina.