Bumblebee's Dress
“Sari, why do you wear that thing instead of armor?” The question had simply popped into the mech’s processor completely out of the blue, as most things usually did. Bumblebee knew well enough that the human-Cybertronian hybrid girl had taken to wearing those garments that humans usually did before she’d found out the truth of her being, but now that she had a choice, it was a mystery to him why she didn’t simply choose to keep her armor plating on all the time. If Bee were in her situation, he would cover an awkward, half-fleshy body with protection 24/7.
After giving the yellow bot an odd look, the teen scoffed, placing her dark skinned hands on her hips and showing off curves that Bee knew she hadn’t sported as an eight year old child. He’d always found it odd how much she’d blossomed seemingly overnight, although there were certainly stranger things that have happened over the past couple of weeks. “What, you mean my dress?” she finally asked, motioning from her torso to the tops of her thighs with one hand, “I’m still a girl and half organic, in case you haven’t noticed. Why don’t you stay in vehicle mode all the time?”
Bee’s optics flashed a couple of times, a picked up human habit that could be referred to as blinking. “Because I don’t need to, of course. It’s much easier to get around in this form.”
“Exactly!” she exclaimed, a chagrin forming on her almost impish features. “My armor plating is kinda heavy. Anyway, don’t you think my dress is pretty? I mean, I thought I always pulled the look off before, but my new body handles this thing like a dream.” Bee continued to “blink” at her. Yes, she was obviously full of herself, but that was no different than any other day. What was so appealing about a “dress”, anyway? It wasn’t like it protected anything, even if it was easier to move about in.
“What are you saying, then?” Bee questioned her carefully, his optics squinting as his processor whirred possible explanations around in his head. “Is a… dress supposed to be some kind of flesh covering and a secret weapon to lure mates? Slag! Just when I thought I was getting the hang of human culture...”
Cue another awkward look from Sari, which also resulted in the hybrid running a hand down her face in frustration. “No, no… Well, kinda. It’s comfortable and, uh, alluring, I guess, if the right person wears it. Depending on the dress, too, I guess. But you have to look good to wear one. Otherwise you’ll just embarrass yourself.” The vibe Bee was getting was that Sari already determined that she had the good looks to wear a dress. And from as far as he could remember, she always wore one. They just became more… defined now that she appeared older.
“Hey! I look good!” Bumblbee suddenly felt the urge to defend his attractiveness, not that Sari was diminishing it or anything, but the way she said it just nudged him the wrong way. “Are you saying I can’t pull off a dress?”
Sari’s human optics widened in surprise, her frame suddenly trembling in an attempt to hold back a forcible laughter. “W-what?!” A snigger. “Bumblebee, you? Aren’t you like, a guy, or something? You can’t wear a dress! Besides, I didn’t say you didn’t look good… errr… I just mean, you know, in general. You wouldn’t see someone like my dad walking around wearing a dress.” Both bot and hybrid suppressed a shudder at the thought. “I mean, besides the fact that he’s a guy and he’s kinda old, he’s not exactly what a human would call good looking. No offense to my dad, of course, but… just no.”
“I guess you could say I’m like a guy, in human terms, but it’s not like that,” Bumblebee huffed, not thoroughly convinced that Sari was coming up with the right arguments. “We’re technically genderless and choose our voice processors based on preference when we’re old enough. But, enough of that! I’m proving you wrong right here and now missy!” The yellow mech suddenly stood up on the couch in their plant’s-as Sari had dubbed it-living room, pointing a single digit from his right servo at her squarely in the forehead.
She stared up at him in a mixture of shock and disbelief. “Whoa, whoa, whoa… what now?
“Dress me up right now, Sari! If anyone out of the Autobots has the privilege of looking dashing in a human garment, it’s me!”
It took several breems to convince his hybrid companion to give in to his demands and two joors in which the mech waited impatiently at the plant while she took to the Detroit shopping district in order to select a big enough garment for him. She had insisted that he didn’t come with her to get it, since it was embarrassing enough to be shopping for a plus size dress (despite where Bee stood on Autobot standards, he wasn’t the human equivalent of petite), let alone be shopping alongside a portrayed male robot.
When he returned, Sari secretively ushered Bumblebee into the room she had resided in while her father had been kidnapped and firmly locked the deadbolt so no one thought to randomly decide they wanted to see what the two friends were up to. In fact, Bee could have sworn he’d seen Prowl around the corner before they’d come in. Was it really that embarrassing to Sari?
It turned out she had two selections. The first, a complimentary blue to Bee’s overpowering yellow paint job, and the second, a hardened black. For a few cycles, he was leaning towards the blue, until a comment from Sari about matching made him settle for the black. It was less complex on the optics, actually, with two spaghetti strings hanging loosely in the back, open sleeves to accommodate for Bee’s shoulders, and an arched v-neck to expose his obviously flat chest plates.
“It’s perfect, Sari!” Bee chirped excitedly, poking at the garment with curious digits. She rolled her eyes as she held it up and then clutched it to her chest.
“You say that now, but I’m telling you that it’ll look completely ridiculous,” she warned, but in the end couldn’t hold back a grin. Bumblebee was positively reveling in his own certainty, giving off a radiance that she couldn’t help but bask in. Well, if he wanted it so badly, then as one of his best friends, she simply had to oblige.
Even as the smallest mech, he was overbearingly taller than her, so she had him sit flat on the ground while she rolled up the dress to the neck and swung it around his head, careful to avoid his horns in case they accidentally tore the fabric. When it fell and hung on Bee’s shoulders, she had him stand again so she could pull it properly down. At full height, the dress came to an end a couple of inches above his armored knee caps.
Sari stepped away a couple of feet and poked out her bottom lip in thought, tapping her chin as she admired her work. “Hmm… oh!” Remembering the strings at the back of the dress, she rounded him and pulled them tightly to tie the two straps together in a neat little bow. Bumblebee, curious, lifted his arm to attempt peering at what she was doing. The dress hugged his box-like form once the strings were tightened, although, Sari silently admitted, he did have a unique figure, especially around his hips. “It needs something.” Her girlish instincts were kicking in, causing a lightbulb to pop in her head. “Aha! I know just the thing. Wait here, I’ll be back before you know it.”
Bumblebee, speechless, watched her unlatch the locks on her old room and dart out faster than a normal human should be able to. Then again, she wasn’t a normal human. Unfortunately for her earlier try at secrecy, she’d left the door mostly open. “Slag, she didn’t even let me look at myself yet!” The yellow bot mimicked a pout, glancing around for any type of reflective surface in her room but finding none. There was, however, a one-way glass mirror in the factory that he knew of. Not that he’d ever needed to look at himself in a mirror before, but now that he had something on him that he wanted to see-and to possibly show off-he at least knew it where he would be able to do that.
All sensible thoughts of staying hidden until Sari returned thrown out of his processor, Bumblebee skirted out of the room, metallic clangs echoing every time his balancing servos hit the floor. His pace must have been what had alerted the other bot in the area, for not long after Bee left Sari’s old room did his leader curiously come around the corner-and immediately stop dead in his tracks.
“B - Bumblebee? What in Primus’s name are you wearing?”
A questioning ‘hmm?’ left Bee’s vocal processor, having been too preoccupied with heading halfway across the plant that he hadn’t really anticipated anyone approaching. The utter shock appeared to be the understatement of the day, and soon Bumblebee found himself becoming increasingly self-conscious, something that normally never bothered the young mech.
“I, er, um… it’s a-uh-dress. You know… the flesh covering thing that humans usually wear. Sari wears one!” Bumblebee offered the second statement quickly, hoping that it would somehow justify the fact that he was wearing one himself. Optimus’s optics were widened so severely that Bee was sure his receptors were probably sending him pain signals from the effort.
The Prime instantly took to shaking his head after coping with his initial shock. He had to remind himself that this was Bumblebee, and if any bot could convey himself with illogical and, not to mention, unpredictable instability, it was the little yellow mech. “I’m not… entirely sure I want to know what compelled you to wear such a thing, do I?”
Suddenly, the smaller bot felt the urge to defend himself again. Did everyone oversee his alien attractiveness? Oh shame, shame! “What? Sari explained to me that it’s a human ritual garment used to attract mates. And, c’mon, it’s not like I need the help, but it has to compliment something on me, right? Right?” Okay, well, maybe Sari hadn’t exactly put the definition in those exact words, but Bee was good at reading between the lines. A little, at least. He widened his own crystalline optics, staring up at the now startled looking Prime expectantly.
Now that it was put into question, Prime couldn’t keep his own optics from wandering. The dress was, simply put, a bit ridiculous to be placed on a robotic frame, especially since it was made for humans and not for Autobots. Still, the strings that attached at the back of the dress put a little too much emphasis on Bumblebee’s slim waist, something that Optimus instantly knew he shouldn’t be paying special attention to noticing.
“I… suppose…”
The look that Bee gave the boss bot then was akin to Sari’s puppy dog stare, one that usually allowed the hybrid to attain anything she wanted when used correctly.
“I mean… well, it’s… nice. You look… nice.”
Then those beautifully reflective optics hardened in distaste, the yellow mech puffing hot air through his vocal processor vents where a human mouth would be. “Oh, nice, Bumblebee, you look nice, just like any other bot out there!” he mocked, inwardly blanching in knowing that, perhaps, he wasn’t the best looking Autobot in a dress.
“Huh…? No..! That’s… not what I meant,” Optimus tried once more, visibly appearing to frown while one of his servos lifted to allow nimble digits and his palm to rub against the back of his head, a very human gesture he’d picked up from his time on Earth. His processor tried to piece together Bumblebee’s sudden attitude, arriving at a possible conclusion that the younger mech wanted to be better than someone at something. And it made sense, since Blurr had taken “the fastest thing on wheels” from him. For a couple cycles, he took in Bee’s obvious pouting, and then the dress once more. “Bumblebee… You look exquisite. And you don’t need a dress to appear so.”
It’s was Bee’s turn to mimic the human expression of shock. He took a brief intake through his vents, optics wavering while they skimmed over the stoned features of his leader. “Really…? You mean that?” The bot sounded hopeful, but then again, it wasn’t in Optimus’s nature to lie. Instead, the young bot’s spark fluttered pleasantly against its metal casing in his chest at the baritone of the Prime’s laughter.
“Of course I do, Bumblebee. Come here,” Optimus instructed, his kind optics drifting over Bee’s form as the smaller one obliged. Once within reach, he slipped strong, metal arms over Bee’s back, feeling out the knot from the bow that tied the dress and pulled it gently apart. With minimal protest on Bumblebee’s half, Optimus tugged the dress over the top of the yellow mech’s head, and once it was completely removed, tossed the garment listlessly over his shoulder.
“Well,” Bumblebee began softly, his cheek plates heating from the close proximity to his leader’s grill, before adding stubbornly, “I’m still the best looking Autobot in a dress. There’s no denying it, boss bot.”
Optimus laughed again, quieter this time, as firm servos returned to clasp gently against Bumblebee’s back and push the smaller mech up against him. Neither of them seemed to notice that Sari had crept up around the corner Optimus had appeared from, sneakily watching them with a cotton black material-a shawl-clasped in her hands.
“I’m not denying it. But you’re also the most stunning creature with a spark. No human garment has any participation in that.”
They also didn’t seem to notice that Sari had been recording the scene with her sensory optics, trying not to snigger at picturing their faces when she uploaded it and showed it to Ratchet, Bulkhead or even Prowl. Oh, screw the dress, this was even better blackmail.