(no subject)
i feel my body dying and i can't think or feel but i know im alive. if i wasn't i think i might just feel free. i want nothingness. i want to run my hand into my thigh and let it become sand. theres beauty in that somewhere. i want to fall apart instantly and sink into the sea. i left my home today with the car packed. we couldnt pack much and it fucking kills me that i left so much behind. i can see the fire circling around and it excites me that so much destruction can come so easily. its harder to breathe today while i watch everyone leave their lives behind. i wonder if ill have a home to come back to. i made my mom sick today. again actually. i want to tell her to let me go and stop carrying all that pain around with her. i wish i wasn't destroying her body but i wish for a lot of things. she's in the hospital and im in this foreign place and im curious to see if ill make it through the night. the winds are so high that if i were to walk off my roof i just may fly. i need to get the fuck out of here.
well im scared of ever being born again; if its in this form again.
well im scared of ever being born again; if its in this form again.