There's enough passion in the world already. Everything trembles with it.
"I am only putting down details which entered me, fragments that were able to part my flesh."
i am finding that my interest in people has been waning. not people in particular, i am surrounded by good people. but just people in general. i may have begun to grow tired of the cycles we get caught in. if only i had done research in the cycle breaker theorem. tonight, i thought of something (clearly not an original thought) but it was monumental nonetheless. if our brains only manage to feel the connections associated with love for a finite amount of time, does that mean that the rest of our relationship is spent just being there? going through the motions? considering the crisis i just passed through recently this is a terrible revelation. this means that once a partner is chosen, hopefully out of love initially, you are forced to live the rest of your life in a practical relationship. the screaching burning sensation in my ears is in reaction to that word: practical. i can't live this way, i won't live this way. i sometimes wonder if my only response to this is to just die. what kind of life is this to live this way?? i can't look anyone in the eye who just accepts this proposition, this notion put before them. getting up in the mornings will become more and more difficult. brushing my teeth shaving my face hoping every day that i slip and then i can call it an accident. i am honestly not sure that i can find anything more important in this world than love and if it's a one and done deal, then A) why bother and B) why bother. clearly you cannot live a life of chaos that comes along with constantly seeking out love once the original has faded. i have heard that you can renew that feeling by doing new things, and perhaps this is the only way out. or death as i have mentioned.
i don't know
i am lost
"without you what does my life amount to"
louie
i am finding that my interest in people has been waning. not people in particular, i am surrounded by good people. but just people in general. i may have begun to grow tired of the cycles we get caught in. if only i had done research in the cycle breaker theorem. tonight, i thought of something (clearly not an original thought) but it was monumental nonetheless. if our brains only manage to feel the connections associated with love for a finite amount of time, does that mean that the rest of our relationship is spent just being there? going through the motions? considering the crisis i just passed through recently this is a terrible revelation. this means that once a partner is chosen, hopefully out of love initially, you are forced to live the rest of your life in a practical relationship. the screaching burning sensation in my ears is in reaction to that word: practical. i can't live this way, i won't live this way. i sometimes wonder if my only response to this is to just die. what kind of life is this to live this way?? i can't look anyone in the eye who just accepts this proposition, this notion put before them. getting up in the mornings will become more and more difficult. brushing my teeth shaving my face hoping every day that i slip and then i can call it an accident. i am honestly not sure that i can find anything more important in this world than love and if it's a one and done deal, then A) why bother and B) why bother. clearly you cannot live a life of chaos that comes along with constantly seeking out love once the original has faded. i have heard that you can renew that feeling by doing new things, and perhaps this is the only way out. or death as i have mentioned.
i don't know
i am lost
"without you what does my life amount to"
louie