Me and the Living Proud Gender Diversity Forum
(Trigger warning: discussion of suicide prevention)
Last night I had the privilege of attending the Living Proud Gender Diversity Forum. Living Proud is an initiative coordinated by Gay and Lesbian Community Services (GLCS) as part of the OneLife WA Suicide Prevention Strategy. The aim is the development of a Community Action Plan directly for the benefit of addressing the needs of the WA GLBTIQA community in relation to the prevention of suicide.
Last night as part of this project, we heard from a range of speakers in relation to their experiences of gender diversity. There were a range of stories and a range of ways in which these people identified themselves in the spectrum of gender diversity. I was moved several times.
Being able to hear from these people last night came at a particularly useful time in my life as I've just recently had become aware of my own experience of non-binary gender identification. I've not been anxious in my questioning but I have floundered wondering if my experiences were 'real' if they 'counted'.
I am a liminal person in the queer community. Despite my intensely queer identity, I have at times been unwelcome or excluded from being involved because of a perception around not being queer enough. And the last thing I want to do is go through yet more of that experience of explaining/justification/exclusion/judgement. Neither do I wish to pretend that I don't have privilege in this area, I absolutely do and acknowledge this.
But I came away reassured that others understood where I was coming from, some had been in a similar place. I felt like not only was I not alone in my experience of my own gender fluidity and queerness, but that others who experience this kind of diversity more intensely or visibly than I do were supportive and welcoming and were emphatic that I and my experiences counted too.
I wish I'd experienced that kind of support and welcomeness in community around being pansexual (or even back when I was bi). Especially back when I was questioning, exploring and unsure. Thankfully I met better friends and since I still have them several years on I can gratefully speak to their amazingness for embracing and supporting me through my growing and changing.
And it appears that this growing and changing with identity is still going on. There's been a lot of it happening this year and I'm still falling in love with the person I get to be, all over again. I hope I am always in the position of doing this, it is the profoundest experience of self love that I can articulate.
I love my female shape, my female identity, I don't feel out of place with that at all. But I also experience a strong association with other body shapes and gender identities. If I had the opportunity to live in the future with magic science, I wouldn't ever settle on one gender and instead would move between gender identities and physicality based on my inner sense of self. Unfortunately, I don't live in the future with magic science. And, while I love my female shape and body, I swear sometimes I can almost feel other body experiences, and I imagine them vividly. That they are imagined is sometimes intensely disappointing, though I am mostly able accept the limitations of science.
As with most things about myself and my personality, I am never just one space... the fluidity is constant even though at this point in time I don't expect that I will have any issues around presentation or pronouns (perhaps if I lived in the future we'd all use gender neutral pronouns and while those make the most sense to me, I'm still comfortable with my 30 ish years of female pronouns).
Obviously this is all intensely personal and difficult to write and I ask for your gentleness. I'm writing it unlocked and openly for all the reasons I believe in not being silent and all the reasons why I believe in living proud and true to who I am to the best of my ability.
I believe strongly in the Living Proud initiative as part of growing and building a healthy and supportive community that continues to grow in positive ways creating space for all members with our collective diversity. I believe that this project can make a difference and if you're local in WA and interested in being involved it's worth taking a look.
Living Proud for me is getting to be the best person I can be regardless of the labels I choose or have chosen for me. I want this for everyone. Living Proud also means love, relationships, community, chosen family, family and making a difference in the world around me, reaching out to others and supporting one another. I believe it is also about celebrating equality and diversity together.
There is so much left to do, so many wrongs to address, so much hurt to heal... the ocean metaphor works in this space too. But for now I'm taking a moment to celebrate an amazing community initiative led by passionate, compassionate and wise people who truly care about making a difference in the community, about bringing us together, and about suicide prevention.
I've often not felt part of the queer community at all (see above re being liminal), but last night and the night of the project launch I felt deeply connected to the community in a way I've felt only in passing before. The project has already made a difference to me and I sincerely hope that it reaches all those who need support like this so much more than I do. I'm so profoundly glad organisations like GLCS exist doing the amazing work they're doing, and now this Living Proud project. So amazing.
This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/862499.html
Last night I had the privilege of attending the Living Proud Gender Diversity Forum. Living Proud is an initiative coordinated by Gay and Lesbian Community Services (GLCS) as part of the OneLife WA Suicide Prevention Strategy. The aim is the development of a Community Action Plan directly for the benefit of addressing the needs of the WA GLBTIQA community in relation to the prevention of suicide.
Last night as part of this project, we heard from a range of speakers in relation to their experiences of gender diversity. There were a range of stories and a range of ways in which these people identified themselves in the spectrum of gender diversity. I was moved several times.
Being able to hear from these people last night came at a particularly useful time in my life as I've just recently had become aware of my own experience of non-binary gender identification. I've not been anxious in my questioning but I have floundered wondering if my experiences were 'real' if they 'counted'.
I am a liminal person in the queer community. Despite my intensely queer identity, I have at times been unwelcome or excluded from being involved because of a perception around not being queer enough. And the last thing I want to do is go through yet more of that experience of explaining/justification/exclusion/judgement. Neither do I wish to pretend that I don't have privilege in this area, I absolutely do and acknowledge this.
But I came away reassured that others understood where I was coming from, some had been in a similar place. I felt like not only was I not alone in my experience of my own gender fluidity and queerness, but that others who experience this kind of diversity more intensely or visibly than I do were supportive and welcoming and were emphatic that I and my experiences counted too.
I wish I'd experienced that kind of support and welcomeness in community around being pansexual (or even back when I was bi). Especially back when I was questioning, exploring and unsure. Thankfully I met better friends and since I still have them several years on I can gratefully speak to their amazingness for embracing and supporting me through my growing and changing.
And it appears that this growing and changing with identity is still going on. There's been a lot of it happening this year and I'm still falling in love with the person I get to be, all over again. I hope I am always in the position of doing this, it is the profoundest experience of self love that I can articulate.
I love my female shape, my female identity, I don't feel out of place with that at all. But I also experience a strong association with other body shapes and gender identities. If I had the opportunity to live in the future with magic science, I wouldn't ever settle on one gender and instead would move between gender identities and physicality based on my inner sense of self. Unfortunately, I don't live in the future with magic science. And, while I love my female shape and body, I swear sometimes I can almost feel other body experiences, and I imagine them vividly. That they are imagined is sometimes intensely disappointing, though I am mostly able accept the limitations of science.
As with most things about myself and my personality, I am never just one space... the fluidity is constant even though at this point in time I don't expect that I will have any issues around presentation or pronouns (perhaps if I lived in the future we'd all use gender neutral pronouns and while those make the most sense to me, I'm still comfortable with my 30 ish years of female pronouns).
Obviously this is all intensely personal and difficult to write and I ask for your gentleness. I'm writing it unlocked and openly for all the reasons I believe in not being silent and all the reasons why I believe in living proud and true to who I am to the best of my ability.
I believe strongly in the Living Proud initiative as part of growing and building a healthy and supportive community that continues to grow in positive ways creating space for all members with our collective diversity. I believe that this project can make a difference and if you're local in WA and interested in being involved it's worth taking a look.
Living Proud for me is getting to be the best person I can be regardless of the labels I choose or have chosen for me. I want this for everyone. Living Proud also means love, relationships, community, chosen family, family and making a difference in the world around me, reaching out to others and supporting one another. I believe it is also about celebrating equality and diversity together.
There is so much left to do, so many wrongs to address, so much hurt to heal... the ocean metaphor works in this space too. But for now I'm taking a moment to celebrate an amazing community initiative led by passionate, compassionate and wise people who truly care about making a difference in the community, about bringing us together, and about suicide prevention.
I've often not felt part of the queer community at all (see above re being liminal), but last night and the night of the project launch I felt deeply connected to the community in a way I've felt only in passing before. The project has already made a difference to me and I sincerely hope that it reaches all those who need support like this so much more than I do. I'm so profoundly glad organisations like GLCS exist doing the amazing work they're doing, and now this Living Proud project. So amazing.
This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/862499.html