2011: The Year in Review
And here is my review of the year that is almost done, this is a time of reflection and transition and thankfulness. I have much to be thankful for and much to put to rest and not carry forward into the year ahead.
1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
* Moved to a small town on the promise of a job
* Drove on a narrow road at night whilst navigating around road trains
* Reverse parked a car
* Worked and was paid as a business analyst
* Fall out of love with someone / break up with someone.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make one this year?
I’m less about resolutions and more about what central focus do I have for the year, summed up in one word or theme or concept.
2009 was exploration and expression, 2010 was been about connectionism and 2011 about conscious faith. I’m yet to do my wrap up for this year and I’m still enquiring as to what the theme for next year will be.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, there were a few friends who welcomed babies into the world.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
There was a tragic loss to a friend that was felt keenly throughout the communities surrounding her and her partner.
5. What countries did you visit?
Again no countries, but I got to Melbourne twice, and I travelled by car all the way North through WA to Kununurra.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More snogging, snuggling and sex! More travel! Also, more money :)
7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory?
January 13th - I found out that Murdoch axed my degree
February 11th - an important personal decision
February 23th - Cam’s confession/betrayal.
March 13 - 14th anniversary with K
April 15-18th - weekend spent with Robin
April 21-25th - Swancon, new friends, existing friends and Adam.
September 1 - K and Cam’s 3rd anniversary
October 1st - First day as an official business analyst :)
Nov ember 1-4th - Melbourne and MaiaS
November 2nd - Darren Hayes concert
December 3rd - sleepover and dinner party and partnership loveliness
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Letting go of being small and insignificant and without an impact.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Trusting someone and their words too much.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does emotional pain count? I'm going to count it, because certainly I spent months processing it and revisiting and working through things.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to Melbourne.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Kaneda, Calli, Samvara, Chaosmanor, PRK, Amarillion, Robin, MS, Hipikat, Babalon, Flyingblogspot, Alisa, Tehani, Terri, Pokmcfee, Alli, (and so many others....)
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I hate this question year in and year out. The two answers I’d give wouldn’t surprise anyone and those close to me already know... I don’t need to go into it more specifically than that.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Living costs, plane tickets, clothes (my existing clothes are so worn out)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Kununurra, even though it didn’t work out. Going to Melbourne twice and getting to spend time with Loves! Going to the Darren Hayes concert! Having Hipikat stay at my place for the first time and taking him as my partner to an event. Dancing in the kitchen on random occasions with Kaneda and falling in love all over again :)
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
There were quite a few that stand out strongly for the year:
“This is Me” - Girlyman
“Bloodstained Heart” - Darren Hayes
“Roses” - Darren Hayes
“We Are All Connected” - Symphony of Science
“It Gets Better” - Rebecca Drysdale
“30 Seconds of Happiness” - Jigzag
“Sweet Basil” - Jigzag
“Vanilla Twilight” - Owl City
“Gravity” - Vienna Teng
“Glitter in the Air” - Pink
“Come to My Window” - Melissa Etheridge
“The Promise” - Tracy Chapman
“In My Mind” - Amanda Palmer
“Aftermath” - Adam Lambert
“If I Had You” - Adam Lambert
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or Sadder?
I know I’m happier, but it’s the happy that comes at the end of a long fight, and that’s been constantly my experience of the past 2-3 years. I’m wishing with all my heart for a joyous 2012 for myself and the many other loved ones who’ve had difficult and horrible years recently as well.
ii. Thinner or fatter?
About the same.
iii. Richer or poorer?
Richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Having random roadtrip adventures. Staying up late having long obscure chats with interesting people. Reading for uni. Being less well-behaved. Reading the books I’ve been collecting (though partially this is the fault of them spending most of the year in Kununurra).
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feeling sad, fragile, hurt and betrayed and processing all of that.
20. How will you spend Christmas?
This year we’re going to do a family Christmas with Cam’s family. They’re lovely and we’re looking forward to it without being overly nervous :)
21. How will you spend New Year?
I’m unsure yet, but there are a couple of options. I’ll see what looks to be happening this year and decide later :) There is some highly desirable company but also my desire for a particular kind of experience and I don’t know that I can satisfy the two :)
22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I fall in love often, sometimes it is with my chosen family or closest friends, sometimes it is one of my partners or Loves... I fall easily and sometimes it is an extension of love that exists, and sometimes it is momentary. The former is a reminder of something that breathes within me as I breathe while the latter is like a flash of insight, there and then the moment is gone and everything is new again. Sometimes, it’s a swelling of my heart, a physical ‘bigness’ that makes me smile and sometimes makes me teary. Sometimes it is momentary insight, closeness, inspiration, a tiny thing in passing. Other times it is a continuation, a growing alive thing between myself and another. Always it is precious.
23. How many one-night stands?
None, it’s not really my style. There were some lovely moments with people though :)
24. What was your favourite TV program?
White Collar, True Blood, Leverage, Lost Girl, Rizzoli and Isles, The Big Bang Theory, The Closer, Once Upon A Time, Sons of Anarchy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.
26. What was the best book you read?
Twilight’s Dawn - Anne Bishop
Burn Bright, Angel Arias - Marianne de Pierres
The Shattered City - Tansy Rayner Roberts
Down to the Bone - Justina Robson
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Vienna Teng, Girly Man, Owl City and Jigzag, Adele,
28. What did you want and get?
* To take care of Robin when he needed it and to be there for him
* To spend time and get to know some of my friends better
* To take a wild chance on the possibility that it could be awesome
* To spend time reconnecting in depth with MS
* To see Ruu again in person
* To feel better about the ending of something previously important to me - internal closure
* To spend more time with Hipikat over the course of the year
* To like and appreciate gin
* To spend more time drinking in cool little bars with close friends
* Better jobs with more income - still contract, but am getting there
29. What did you want and not get?
* To spend more time with Robin (like a few weeks or more)
* To have a clear plan for moving to Melbourne
* To have a clear plan for having my own business (I’m not quite there yet)
* To go away out of Perth with Hipikat
* To spend m ore time with Matt and family
* External closure / respect around a particular person and their behaviour
* A longer term contract for work with a higher wage
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Fast Five, Tangled
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31 and I had a series of events (there are two instances of drinks still in the works with specific people). I had 3 dinners and an afternoon at a cafe and I got to see a great deal of my friends group, though not everyone :)
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A teleporter <-- this answer still relevant!! X eleventy billion
A money tree wouldn’t have gone astray :P
A longer term job contract as a business analyst (with a pay bump)
More snogging and sensuality, sex in general. The teleporter answer is relevant here :P
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Worn out, with some notable additions. Gradually more colour.
34. What kept you sane?
My closest friends, love and being cuddled, pots and pots of lovely tea, handholding during hard and painful times. Sincere and deep abiding thanks to Samvara, Chaosmanor, Callistra, Babalon, MS, Robin, Flyingblogspot, Pokmcfee and Hipikat for all of this.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tilda Swinton / Alan Cumming / Cunning Minx / Adam Lambert
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The OccupyWallSt protests, ordinary people, speaking up as best they can in the wake of harsh and punishing responses from law enforcement.
37. Who did you miss?
MS, Robin, Adam, Calli, Ascetic_Hedony,
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Bruce, Ruuha, Justina
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
The cost of determination and holding on and out so long must eventually be paid.
Also, grieving comes in many forms and you cannot rush it nor wish it away.
Love and comfort come from the places that I know, but also from lovely and unexpected places.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
There are a few:
“I am exactly the person I wish to be”
“You are giving me the chance to smile, no matter what might come my way, a little sparkle for my day”
“Have you ever wished for an endless night?”
“Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly, but I’ll miss your arms around me. I’d send a postcard to you dear, cause I wish you were here.”
“And I want so much to believe that I won’t disappear in the water, that I won’t always be swimming against the tide”
Five personally significant events of 2011:
- driving the length of WA from Perth to Kununurra and being reminded how much I love road trips, and being reminded how beautiful I find Northern and Central Australia.
- unexpected words of love exchanged from a special and unlikely place that I will treasure. If snowfall is rare, then these words are beautiful like unique snowflakes that fall welcome on my face.
- the first real breakup of my life, taken from the depths of silence and abandonment with all the messiness and pain that suggests.
- spending a weekend being an anchor and love for my Love who needed to be cared for and loved. I needed to give and to be needed as much as he needed it and the weekend was a haven of gentleness, love and appreciating the underlying magic of connection beneath our usual intense connection to one another.
- spending days with another Love and being reminded of all the reasons why I’d fallen for her, why I loved our connection and the potential. Being rewarded in my delight, enthusiasm and utter smitten-ness with the same back to me. Time and touch and no space for doubts or old hurt or fears.
Five things I want to do in 2011:
- Study hard, learn heaps and get great marks.
- Have amazing, interesting and intense conversations with fascinating people
- Branch out into some new NSFW experiences that I’ve been chatting with a few people about (this is still on my list)
- Plan for and hopefully move to Melbourne and start a whole new adventure-with-self
- Continue getting experience as a business analyst and gently sneak up on the plan to have my own business.
Five people I'd like to know better in 2011:
- VanessaH
- Hipikat
- HelenM
- Tansyrr
- MsVyv
Still with the spending as much quality time as I can wrangle with others :)
And finally just because, a quote:
“Enter as you wish to be in it... Exit as you wish to continue”
- Havi Brooks
This quote has come up just recently and it's sticking in my mind a lot and I suspect that my theme for next year will have something about this quote as part the concept. I'm also aiming to do just as it suggests with my transition from 2011 to 2012.
This year was a quite horrible and hard one. There were a number of deeply unpleasant things that happened and a lot that I struggled with as a result. I'm glad to be doing this wrap up because it's part of putting this year to rest, and part of creating something is new and positive and wonderful for next year. At least, I sincerely hope so.
This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/834110.html
1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
* Moved to a small town on the promise of a job
* Drove on a narrow road at night whilst navigating around road trains
* Reverse parked a car
* Worked and was paid as a business analyst
* Fall out of love with someone / break up with someone.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make one this year?
I’m less about resolutions and more about what central focus do I have for the year, summed up in one word or theme or concept.
2009 was exploration and expression, 2010 was been about connectionism and 2011 about conscious faith. I’m yet to do my wrap up for this year and I’m still enquiring as to what the theme for next year will be.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, there were a few friends who welcomed babies into the world.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
There was a tragic loss to a friend that was felt keenly throughout the communities surrounding her and her partner.
5. What countries did you visit?
Again no countries, but I got to Melbourne twice, and I travelled by car all the way North through WA to Kununurra.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More snogging, snuggling and sex! More travel! Also, more money :)
7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory?
January 13th - I found out that Murdoch axed my degree
February 11th - an important personal decision
February 23th - Cam’s confession/betrayal.
March 13 - 14th anniversary with K
April 15-18th - weekend spent with Robin
April 21-25th - Swancon, new friends, existing friends and Adam.
September 1 - K and Cam’s 3rd anniversary
October 1st - First day as an official business analyst :)
Nov ember 1-4th - Melbourne and MaiaS
November 2nd - Darren Hayes concert
December 3rd - sleepover and dinner party and partnership loveliness
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Letting go of being small and insignificant and without an impact.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Trusting someone and their words too much.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does emotional pain count? I'm going to count it, because certainly I spent months processing it and revisiting and working through things.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets to Melbourne.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Kaneda, Calli, Samvara, Chaosmanor, PRK, Amarillion, Robin, MS, Hipikat, Babalon, Flyingblogspot, Alisa, Tehani, Terri, Pokmcfee, Alli, (and so many others....)
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I hate this question year in and year out. The two answers I’d give wouldn’t surprise anyone and those close to me already know... I don’t need to go into it more specifically than that.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Living costs, plane tickets, clothes (my existing clothes are so worn out)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Kununurra, even though it didn’t work out. Going to Melbourne twice and getting to spend time with Loves! Going to the Darren Hayes concert! Having Hipikat stay at my place for the first time and taking him as my partner to an event. Dancing in the kitchen on random occasions with Kaneda and falling in love all over again :)
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
There were quite a few that stand out strongly for the year:
“This is Me” - Girlyman
“Bloodstained Heart” - Darren Hayes
“Roses” - Darren Hayes
“We Are All Connected” - Symphony of Science
“It Gets Better” - Rebecca Drysdale
“30 Seconds of Happiness” - Jigzag
“Sweet Basil” - Jigzag
“Vanilla Twilight” - Owl City
“Gravity” - Vienna Teng
“Glitter in the Air” - Pink
“Come to My Window” - Melissa Etheridge
“The Promise” - Tracy Chapman
“In My Mind” - Amanda Palmer
“Aftermath” - Adam Lambert
“If I Had You” - Adam Lambert
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or Sadder?
I know I’m happier, but it’s the happy that comes at the end of a long fight, and that’s been constantly my experience of the past 2-3 years. I’m wishing with all my heart for a joyous 2012 for myself and the many other loved ones who’ve had difficult and horrible years recently as well.
ii. Thinner or fatter?
About the same.
iii. Richer or poorer?
Richer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Having random roadtrip adventures. Staying up late having long obscure chats with interesting people. Reading for uni. Being less well-behaved. Reading the books I’ve been collecting (though partially this is the fault of them spending most of the year in Kununurra).
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feeling sad, fragile, hurt and betrayed and processing all of that.
20. How will you spend Christmas?
This year we’re going to do a family Christmas with Cam’s family. They’re lovely and we’re looking forward to it without being overly nervous :)
21. How will you spend New Year?
I’m unsure yet, but there are a couple of options. I’ll see what looks to be happening this year and decide later :) There is some highly desirable company but also my desire for a particular kind of experience and I don’t know that I can satisfy the two :)
22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I fall in love often, sometimes it is with my chosen family or closest friends, sometimes it is one of my partners or Loves... I fall easily and sometimes it is an extension of love that exists, and sometimes it is momentary. The former is a reminder of something that breathes within me as I breathe while the latter is like a flash of insight, there and then the moment is gone and everything is new again. Sometimes, it’s a swelling of my heart, a physical ‘bigness’ that makes me smile and sometimes makes me teary. Sometimes it is momentary insight, closeness, inspiration, a tiny thing in passing. Other times it is a continuation, a growing alive thing between myself and another. Always it is precious.
23. How many one-night stands?
None, it’s not really my style. There were some lovely moments with people though :)
24. What was your favourite TV program?
White Collar, True Blood, Leverage, Lost Girl, Rizzoli and Isles, The Big Bang Theory, The Closer, Once Upon A Time, Sons of Anarchy, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.
26. What was the best book you read?
Twilight’s Dawn - Anne Bishop
Burn Bright, Angel Arias - Marianne de Pierres
The Shattered City - Tansy Rayner Roberts
Down to the Bone - Justina Robson
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Vienna Teng, Girly Man, Owl City and Jigzag, Adele,
28. What did you want and get?
* To take care of Robin when he needed it and to be there for him
* To spend time and get to know some of my friends better
* To take a wild chance on the possibility that it could be awesome
* To spend time reconnecting in depth with MS
* To see Ruu again in person
* To feel better about the ending of something previously important to me - internal closure
* To spend more time with Hipikat over the course of the year
* To like and appreciate gin
* To spend more time drinking in cool little bars with close friends
* Better jobs with more income - still contract, but am getting there
29. What did you want and not get?
* To spend more time with Robin (like a few weeks or more)
* To have a clear plan for moving to Melbourne
* To have a clear plan for having my own business (I’m not quite there yet)
* To go away out of Perth with Hipikat
* To spend m ore time with Matt and family
* External closure / respect around a particular person and their behaviour
* A longer term contract for work with a higher wage
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Fast Five, Tangled
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31 and I had a series of events (there are two instances of drinks still in the works with specific people). I had 3 dinners and an afternoon at a cafe and I got to see a great deal of my friends group, though not everyone :)
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A teleporter <-- this answer still relevant!! X eleventy billion
A money tree wouldn’t have gone astray :P
A longer term job contract as a business analyst (with a pay bump)
More snogging and sensuality, sex in general. The teleporter answer is relevant here :P
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Worn out, with some notable additions. Gradually more colour.
34. What kept you sane?
My closest friends, love and being cuddled, pots and pots of lovely tea, handholding during hard and painful times. Sincere and deep abiding thanks to Samvara, Chaosmanor, Callistra, Babalon, MS, Robin, Flyingblogspot, Pokmcfee and Hipikat for all of this.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tilda Swinton / Alan Cumming / Cunning Minx / Adam Lambert
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The OccupyWallSt protests, ordinary people, speaking up as best they can in the wake of harsh and punishing responses from law enforcement.
37. Who did you miss?
MS, Robin, Adam, Calli, Ascetic_Hedony,
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Bruce, Ruuha, Justina
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:
The cost of determination and holding on and out so long must eventually be paid.
Also, grieving comes in many forms and you cannot rush it nor wish it away.
Love and comfort come from the places that I know, but also from lovely and unexpected places.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
There are a few:
“I am exactly the person I wish to be”
“You are giving me the chance to smile, no matter what might come my way, a little sparkle for my day”
“Have you ever wished for an endless night?”
“Cause I’ll doze off safe and soundly, but I’ll miss your arms around me. I’d send a postcard to you dear, cause I wish you were here.”
“And I want so much to believe that I won’t disappear in the water, that I won’t always be swimming against the tide”
Five personally significant events of 2011:
- driving the length of WA from Perth to Kununurra and being reminded how much I love road trips, and being reminded how beautiful I find Northern and Central Australia.
- unexpected words of love exchanged from a special and unlikely place that I will treasure. If snowfall is rare, then these words are beautiful like unique snowflakes that fall welcome on my face.
- the first real breakup of my life, taken from the depths of silence and abandonment with all the messiness and pain that suggests.
- spending a weekend being an anchor and love for my Love who needed to be cared for and loved. I needed to give and to be needed as much as he needed it and the weekend was a haven of gentleness, love and appreciating the underlying magic of connection beneath our usual intense connection to one another.
- spending days with another Love and being reminded of all the reasons why I’d fallen for her, why I loved our connection and the potential. Being rewarded in my delight, enthusiasm and utter smitten-ness with the same back to me. Time and touch and no space for doubts or old hurt or fears.
Five things I want to do in 2011:
- Study hard, learn heaps and get great marks.
- Have amazing, interesting and intense conversations with fascinating people
- Branch out into some new NSFW experiences that I’ve been chatting with a few people about (this is still on my list)
- Plan for and hopefully move to Melbourne and start a whole new adventure-with-self
- Continue getting experience as a business analyst and gently sneak up on the plan to have my own business.
Five people I'd like to know better in 2011:
- VanessaH
- Hipikat
- HelenM
- Tansyrr
- MsVyv
Still with the spending as much quality time as I can wrangle with others :)
And finally just because, a quote:
“Enter as you wish to be in it... Exit as you wish to continue”
- Havi Brooks
This quote has come up just recently and it's sticking in my mind a lot and I suspect that my theme for next year will have something about this quote as part the concept. I'm also aiming to do just as it suggests with my transition from 2011 to 2012.
This year was a quite horrible and hard one. There were a number of deeply unpleasant things that happened and a lot that I struggled with as a result. I'm glad to be doing this wrap up because it's part of putting this year to rest, and part of creating something is new and positive and wonderful for next year. At least, I sincerely hope so.
This entry was originally posted at http://transcendancing.dreamwidth.org/834110.html