Today was like moving through goo...
Everything took longer, to think through, move through, do, action, make work... it was odd. Like watching everything in slow motion.
I did get some work done, but not nearly as much as I wanted.
I had a few amazing conversations, one for the benefit of a friend, and two others whom were kind and considerate in listening to me. Despite my realisations of last night, by morning time I felt I'd taken two steps forward and three backward.
In having one discussion with someone, sharing possible insight/techniques with them, I revisted the topic myself, and got a lot out of it - safe spaces and choices etc. It helped a lot.
I wrote and received a beautiful email, which helped immeasurably, both the sending, and the receiving.
I'm crampy still, but less emo. My notes on the difference between this cycle, now being on the pill for the first time in about seven or so years, is that overall the pain is less, so is the bleeding. But whereas before I'd get 2-2.5 days of incredibly sharp and intense pain, and essentially be on painkillers for that entire time, this time it's been fairly constant for 4 days, but at a much lower level. A level that I can't justify taking anything for. So... jury's out on preference there, as the directing energy toward pain management constantly isn't fun, I feel scatted and heavy, slow and hormonal. Still, less is less and for that I am grateful. Shall see what next cycle is like, and what the doctor says.
Best thing about today though? I booked a ticket to go see Amanda Palmer while I'm in Melbourne. Even better, MS and I believe subtle_eye are going too! I'm so excited!! This excitement is measured somewhat by the fact that I booked the ticket and THEN realised it was for the day before I fly in. Cue a second rebooking of flights, my cheap tickets... not so cheap any more. But - extra day in Melbourne, having fun out with dear ones, and getting to see Amanda Palmer live! (I'll be in Melbs for the Perth dates). I apparently suck for reading schedules and dates and times... still all in all I'm ecstatic, the extra $50 is worth it!
I'm still feeling the need for more cuddles, but I have reserved buckets with some catchups I've planned over the weekend, so now it's less about deprivation and more about anticipation :)
I did get some work done, but not nearly as much as I wanted.
I had a few amazing conversations, one for the benefit of a friend, and two others whom were kind and considerate in listening to me. Despite my realisations of last night, by morning time I felt I'd taken two steps forward and three backward.
In having one discussion with someone, sharing possible insight/techniques with them, I revisted the topic myself, and got a lot out of it - safe spaces and choices etc. It helped a lot.
I wrote and received a beautiful email, which helped immeasurably, both the sending, and the receiving.
I'm crampy still, but less emo. My notes on the difference between this cycle, now being on the pill for the first time in about seven or so years, is that overall the pain is less, so is the bleeding. But whereas before I'd get 2-2.5 days of incredibly sharp and intense pain, and essentially be on painkillers for that entire time, this time it's been fairly constant for 4 days, but at a much lower level. A level that I can't justify taking anything for. So... jury's out on preference there, as the directing energy toward pain management constantly isn't fun, I feel scatted and heavy, slow and hormonal. Still, less is less and for that I am grateful. Shall see what next cycle is like, and what the doctor says.
Best thing about today though? I booked a ticket to go see Amanda Palmer while I'm in Melbourne. Even better, MS and I believe subtle_eye are going too! I'm so excited!! This excitement is measured somewhat by the fact that I booked the ticket and THEN realised it was for the day before I fly in. Cue a second rebooking of flights, my cheap tickets... not so cheap any more. But - extra day in Melbourne, having fun out with dear ones, and getting to see Amanda Palmer live! (I'll be in Melbs for the Perth dates). I apparently suck for reading schedules and dates and times... still all in all I'm ecstatic, the extra $50 is worth it!
I'm still feeling the need for more cuddles, but I have reserved buckets with some catchups I've planned over the weekend, so now it's less about deprivation and more about anticipation :)