Answers for linstar...
1. How did you discover polyamory hon? Why did this make more sense to you than monogamy?
I think that I've always been inclined toward poly... as in, I don't remember a time where I wasn't confused by put off by or scared of, only having one partner in my life. I didn't recognise it at the time, that came quite a bit later, but I never wanted to be someone's 'everything' and I never wanted someone to think they could be my 'everything'. This really came into crystal clarity when I met K, and we were best friends. I couldn't imagine not having him as a close and integral part of my life - we promised each other that no matter who we ended up with, that we'd always protect the fact that we were best friends. (then we got together but that's another story).
It doesn't make more sense to me. But it is right for me. It's something that allows me to express the love I have for people in my life, to the fullness of my being. I can't live in a space where I can't express that love. I feel shut down and cut off and disconnected - it's not a life I want to live. This is to say that the close and wonderful and valued friendships I have, I cherish and look at with similar solemnity and commitment and love, as I do any other more intimate involvement - different basis and purpose and rules, but at the same time still fundamentally on the same level.
2. Tell me one of your vividest/most favourite memories.
I remember the first night that K and I connected. I was sitting in his room, and this song came on - 'My Promise' by No Mercy, and he sang to me, held my hand and it was in that instant that I knew I'd been right when I met him - that we'd be best friends, and spend the rest of our lives together. It was the first time I felt so completely wanted and valued by a person for who I was, pointed and jagged bits, faults and all.
3. Where would you retire to?
Currently if I have a choice, Fremantle. But given the amount of travel and discovering I'm planning, I am willing to revise this annually :)
4. If given a chance, would you go back and confront those who hurt you? Either to show them what you have become or to say something you never got a chance to say to them?
I wrote a letter of forgiveness recently. I also wrote of the love and for the good memories that I had. I shared that I had an amazing life and was grateful. I did write of the hurt and the impact, and then of the forgiveness. I haven't sent it, and I don't know that I will as I don't want my Dad in my life again. It doesn't seem right to send it, without providing a right of reply... It's possible just by writing it that it has served it's need for completion/confrontation and letting go. I'm not sure yet.
5. If you had to name someone outside of your circles of friends who inspires you, who would that be and why?
Darren Hayes for one because he has a beautiful heart and has put everything of himself into being the person he wants to be, living the life he wants to lead, standing up for what he believes in, and creating the kind of music that is his art and mark upon the world, he's put his word to his art and exposed that for the world to see in such a way as I don't see many people doing famous or otherwise. I love that he does this and is such a family person, and loves living an everyday life as much as he loves being on stage performing. I love that he values and respects his fans in tangible and heartfelt ways.
If I was to consider who could be my role model for vulnerability - he'd definitely be it. I'm seeing him in a new light from that respect writing this.