B.A.L.
Anyone who possibly still catches posts made in this community, please frogive me for making the following post, which is completely unrelated to this community...
Hi, B.A.L. -
I hope you and your family are OK and doing even better than OK, maybe even possibly swell.
I said a lot in some things I sent to you, years ago. So, I don't want to burden you with anything you don't want to hear.
I'll just start off by telling you that I have a survival wristwatch, for your hikes, which I wanted to mail to you, but then your address changed. After that, only saw you were recruited by Pilates or some sort of tech company in Washington state. But no mailing address.
I have had this Obamaphone for almost two years. Only recently did I realise that I could text you, from it - maybe.
I never got your email. The reason for this was because I thought that, one day, you might understand that I was giving you that choice. Maybe you would decide to send me your email yourself, rather than through a sibling of mine.
There is a lot I could say about my siblings. But, all I can say now, briefly, is that no one should ever be trusted to represent me. I don't know why this is. But lots of people, especially some, misrepresent me, often in politest of ways. Many people seem to try to come between me and what they think I want or value. I really didn't want you to be contaminated by that.
I am apparently euthenising my only friend, in a few days. A black Akita someone once named, "King." That's a whole big chapter of stuff right there. But, I guess I am mentioning it because this constant loss seems like it has been going on since about, what, 1987? 88?
I have this illness, which most people seem intent upon misunderstanding. And have been alone a long time. Except for dog/s.
This message comes to you courtesy of one of the many defunct online communities I created, at some point or another. There are better ones but, since LJ died several years ago, most of the good communities just involve me posting. Although, they do have members.
I guess a good one to check out would be anti_viral, just to let you know that I am still using my painful brain despite the insane. And I know how much you value brain.
And, things like computers, hiking, funniness, business, progressivism, complexity (entropy maybe?)... These were all things I was into when you were conceived. My father was into tress, and so I got trees. And, uh, I guess someone must have been writing because that's about the main thing I ever do.
This community, right here - totally defunct, as far as I can see - well - it reminds me a little of the way I was, with your mom, at that time, too. (This and i_am_off_kilter). When NPR was still, like, radical. I just wanted to add that, and repeat that, although things went south fast, you were deeply loved by both of your parents, before you were born. We spent some serious time honouring you, in there, whatever you were doing in there. Pilates? It's just that, my stressfullness slammed at me, and your mother just didn't seem to work out for me at that time of complete collapse.
It's amazing how friends disappear, though. And are stolen away. How social safety nets can turn into sharks' stomachs right over night.
I tried to start building a life for you, but this illness has just been hell, for more than half my life. And no one believes me, still. Especially siblings. The great sibling conspiracy.
The world is in a bad place, now, and for the foreseeable future. I am hoping that, with all the understanding and skill you have acquired in mapping out big, complex pictures, you might, by now, have some inkling or insight into this, by now.
Things are not what they seem to be, most of the time. And so things tend to turn out oppositely to what had been anticipated. This is no more true than today, when we live in a time of great contradiction.
Anyway, I do have this stupid watch, that I was preparing to give away to Goodwill when I take my dog off to heaven. I can't really text for shit - or send pics via that phone - don't get wifi on that phone. But, whenever you'd like to send me any updates on your address or email, I guess I am still here. Still apologising for the strange life you must have ended up having, in one way or another.
If you want to read my official crap, just follow the username. I have so many tags, some kind of smell must linger around them. Like, old people smell. Mothballs and skin. And fungus. And dead dogs. Although, I don't have tags for these subjects. I am sure you can find a few tags that might interest you. Because. I know we are smart people, living on the edge of normalcy. So. Get in touch, if you'd like, please.
May 4th 5:45am.
That's your time stamp.
Only you can prevent wildfires.
Love somehow ended up in the abstract,
Brendan, the Creator.
Welcome, class, to madman101.
Take care and be as happy as you can make other people.
Just text back to my original, (silver plate!)
Hi, B.A.L. -
I hope you and your family are OK and doing even better than OK, maybe even possibly swell.
I said a lot in some things I sent to you, years ago. So, I don't want to burden you with anything you don't want to hear.
I'll just start off by telling you that I have a survival wristwatch, for your hikes, which I wanted to mail to you, but then your address changed. After that, only saw you were recruited by Pilates or some sort of tech company in Washington state. But no mailing address.
I have had this Obamaphone for almost two years. Only recently did I realise that I could text you, from it - maybe.
I never got your email. The reason for this was because I thought that, one day, you might understand that I was giving you that choice. Maybe you would decide to send me your email yourself, rather than through a sibling of mine.
There is a lot I could say about my siblings. But, all I can say now, briefly, is that no one should ever be trusted to represent me. I don't know why this is. But lots of people, especially some, misrepresent me, often in politest of ways. Many people seem to try to come between me and what they think I want or value. I really didn't want you to be contaminated by that.
I am apparently euthenising my only friend, in a few days. A black Akita someone once named, "King." That's a whole big chapter of stuff right there. But, I guess I am mentioning it because this constant loss seems like it has been going on since about, what, 1987? 88?
I have this illness, which most people seem intent upon misunderstanding. And have been alone a long time. Except for dog/s.
This message comes to you courtesy of one of the many defunct online communities I created, at some point or another. There are better ones but, since LJ died several years ago, most of the good communities just involve me posting. Although, they do have members.
I guess a good one to check out would be anti_viral, just to let you know that I am still using my painful brain despite the insane. And I know how much you value brain.
And, things like computers, hiking, funniness, business, progressivism, complexity (entropy maybe?)... These were all things I was into when you were conceived. My father was into tress, and so I got trees. And, uh, I guess someone must have been writing because that's about the main thing I ever do.
This community, right here - totally defunct, as far as I can see - well - it reminds me a little of the way I was, with your mom, at that time, too. (This and i_am_off_kilter). When NPR was still, like, radical. I just wanted to add that, and repeat that, although things went south fast, you were deeply loved by both of your parents, before you were born. We spent some serious time honouring you, in there, whatever you were doing in there. Pilates? It's just that, my stressfullness slammed at me, and your mother just didn't seem to work out for me at that time of complete collapse.
It's amazing how friends disappear, though. And are stolen away. How social safety nets can turn into sharks' stomachs right over night.
I tried to start building a life for you, but this illness has just been hell, for more than half my life. And no one believes me, still. Especially siblings. The great sibling conspiracy.
The world is in a bad place, now, and for the foreseeable future. I am hoping that, with all the understanding and skill you have acquired in mapping out big, complex pictures, you might, by now, have some inkling or insight into this, by now.
Things are not what they seem to be, most of the time. And so things tend to turn out oppositely to what had been anticipated. This is no more true than today, when we live in a time of great contradiction.
Anyway, I do have this stupid watch, that I was preparing to give away to Goodwill when I take my dog off to heaven. I can't really text for shit - or send pics via that phone - don't get wifi on that phone. But, whenever you'd like to send me any updates on your address or email, I guess I am still here. Still apologising for the strange life you must have ended up having, in one way or another.
If you want to read my official crap, just follow the username. I have so many tags, some kind of smell must linger around them. Like, old people smell. Mothballs and skin. And fungus. And dead dogs. Although, I don't have tags for these subjects. I am sure you can find a few tags that might interest you. Because. I know we are smart people, living on the edge of normalcy. So. Get in touch, if you'd like, please.
May 4th 5:45am.
That's your time stamp.
Only you can prevent wildfires.
Love somehow ended up in the abstract,
Brendan, the Creator.
Welcome, class, to madman101.
Take care and be as happy as you can make other people.
Just text back to my original, (silver plate!)