Newbie me. And maybe a bit of brooding.
Hi.
I'm Isa/Isabel (either is fine).
Trans-andro pansensualist. A dreamer. A waif. A faery. To a large degree, a happy outcast from binary society. For more about me, including why and wherefore I identify as trans, etc., feel free to check out my journal, particularly this entry. I found this community when I was glancing at the communities of some of my flist's flist's communities. (Wow, yeah. Twice removed.)
That said, identifying as an androgyne and transperson has caused me some problems of late. My brother is in the throes of stage IV pancreatic cancer, given six weeks to live - and he has separated from himself from my family for a long time due to his anger that, at birth, they simply refused to "assign" me a gender given certain areas of biological ambiguity. We're all together trying to mend fences because we know time is precious, and even though we've made some progress, he still keeps trying to talk me "out" of being who I am.
What's more, today one of my closest friends - whom I value and who has been out as trans for years and years - called to give me the news that she is "returning" to her biological gender, that being trans was a "delusion" and that life is better for her by "embracing her identity." While her path is hers to choose, the fact that she was one of my biggest cheerleaders and supporters makes it very hard for me to swallow. I wish her the best on the journey she takes, it hurts to have someone who once walked this somewhat-lonely path turn away and leave you standing there, alone.
I embrace my identity and I love who I am, but lately...being who I am just feels like a huge exhausting weight on my shoulders, and I'm tired and angry at the world for making it so hard to be me.
Thanks for making a community where this kind of bitching is encouraged. <3
I'm Isa/Isabel (either is fine).
Trans-andro pansensualist. A dreamer. A waif. A faery. To a large degree, a happy outcast from binary society. For more about me, including why and wherefore I identify as trans, etc., feel free to check out my journal, particularly this entry. I found this community when I was glancing at the communities of some of my flist's flist's communities. (Wow, yeah. Twice removed.)
That said, identifying as an androgyne and transperson has caused me some problems of late. My brother is in the throes of stage IV pancreatic cancer, given six weeks to live - and he has separated from himself from my family for a long time due to his anger that, at birth, they simply refused to "assign" me a gender given certain areas of biological ambiguity. We're all together trying to mend fences because we know time is precious, and even though we've made some progress, he still keeps trying to talk me "out" of being who I am.
What's more, today one of my closest friends - whom I value and who has been out as trans for years and years - called to give me the news that she is "returning" to her biological gender, that being trans was a "delusion" and that life is better for her by "embracing her identity." While her path is hers to choose, the fact that she was one of my biggest cheerleaders and supporters makes it very hard for me to swallow. I wish her the best on the journey she takes, it hurts to have someone who once walked this somewhat-lonely path turn away and leave you standing there, alone.
I embrace my identity and I love who I am, but lately...being who I am just feels like a huge exhausting weight on my shoulders, and I'm tired and angry at the world for making it so hard to be me.
Thanks for making a community where this kind of bitching is encouraged. <3