and it happens again
It seems like I have a going on trend in my life.
When things finally seem like they are going right, it all comes crashing down.
I move to San Diego, and start school. I actually LIKED my school, I woke up happy to see what class would bring today. Then I fail a class. Now I resent the whole program, I’m being forced to take another class I already passed along with the one I failed. I hate the teachers, I hate most of my classmates, I’m going to school now just to get it done, not because I WANT to. The condo I moved into, it’s a great place. But I keep thinking about how this summer I was supposed to be graduating and moving out, and its making me start to resent/hate living here realizing ill be stuck here for another year.
I make some great friends. And although I still talk to most, and am closer to some, for the most part I never see them. It used to be a weekly thing that we would do at least SOMETHING. Now everyone has kinda paired off, is too busy with work or school; something that prevents us from being together as often.
I finally meet a guy that im completely happy with. I actually used the L word; I, Natalie used that word. I haven’t been able to comfortably use that word in years; with anyone. I actually saw myself with this person for years to come. The thought of marrying him didn’t terrify me like it has for so long. But now that may be coming to an end. Because I have the luck of constantly choosing guys who don’t know wtf they want in life or relationships. So now im stuck waiting to hear what my future holds. I don’t know how long I can wait though, because i've been hurting so much the last two days, I can’t hurt like this for much longer.
I guess I'll just have to hit the bottom again, for things to go right for me.
When things finally seem like they are going right, it all comes crashing down.
I move to San Diego, and start school. I actually LIKED my school, I woke up happy to see what class would bring today. Then I fail a class. Now I resent the whole program, I’m being forced to take another class I already passed along with the one I failed. I hate the teachers, I hate most of my classmates, I’m going to school now just to get it done, not because I WANT to. The condo I moved into, it’s a great place. But I keep thinking about how this summer I was supposed to be graduating and moving out, and its making me start to resent/hate living here realizing ill be stuck here for another year.
I make some great friends. And although I still talk to most, and am closer to some, for the most part I never see them. It used to be a weekly thing that we would do at least SOMETHING. Now everyone has kinda paired off, is too busy with work or school; something that prevents us from being together as often.
I finally meet a guy that im completely happy with. I actually used the L word; I, Natalie used that word. I haven’t been able to comfortably use that word in years; with anyone. I actually saw myself with this person for years to come. The thought of marrying him didn’t terrify me like it has for so long. But now that may be coming to an end. Because I have the luck of constantly choosing guys who don’t know wtf they want in life or relationships. So now im stuck waiting to hear what my future holds. I don’t know how long I can wait though, because i've been hurting so much the last two days, I can’t hurt like this for much longer.
I guess I'll just have to hit the bottom again, for things to go right for me.