Is Your Love Strong Enough? Part 6 - The Final Scratch

[hark_a_monster]

Such a strange occurrence needed, finally a conclusion. Thanks for the Time Lord's trinket gift, there was suddenly an old, fearsome creature made of gears, it's old features squeaking (although not as bad as before, since a certain someone had given him a good oil job). Analog,the fearsome creature known by some as a the crankiest Time Dragon,

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Re: [Reserved for the Doctor/River]

[makeherblue]

The Doctor wakes up in his body with two things happening: River Song in there with him and his trousers are vibrating.

They're vibrating very, very hard.

He rolls over from where he's been apparently lounging after a hard days work spreading flowers (judging by the quite frankly excessive number of petals draped all over his chest) and gropes about in his trousers after fumbling the robes out of the way. Trousers. Vibrating. Odd. Also insistent. It's starting to migrate in his pockets toward...places, if it could get there, it would. Not for lack of trying. The Whatever It Is feels like it's steps away from tearing some sort of inter-dimensional hole in his trousers if he doesn't so something about it. The Doctor finally grabs it after fishing past the spare socks and A Tale of Two Cities and pulls it out: it's some sort of fancy clockwork pipe, worn by age, and it looks like the very sort of thing a selfish old Dragon would hoard and forget was even in there until it was gone. Not the sort of thing to fall in by accident.

In other words - he's not sure when - Analog must've had one of "her" girls put it in his trousers when he was...occupied.

(Don't ask what he was doing. That means you, River).

The Doctor holds the pipe between two fingers as if it's an explosive. Oh dear! Still vibrating. He suspects it rather liked his trouser pockets.

"Hi. Hello? Is this the right end? Hi!" The Doctor taps the clockwork pipe, for now in control of his body. He feels River in there somewhere. Hopefully she has the sense not to go snooping in his memories despite whatever curiosity she has. There's a reason he keeps her in the dark. Or tries to, at any rate.

Anyway! Good place to start, a nice hello! Even to a grump of a Dragon who's forgotten what it's like to be young. And who also could use some hobbies. Maybe more than just a few. Actually he can think of loads of things Analog can improve on but focusing on the immediate problem here, it's neither here nor there. The Doctor gets to his feet and brushes at his gold robes, not noticing the flower petals stuck in his hair.

Re: [Reserved for the Doctor/River]

[hullo_sweetie]

River is trying so very hard not to comment on the vibrating trousers. Luckily for him, she's preoccupied with being inside a totally alien body. An alien body with awkward, fumbling limbs. It might be partially her fault that he can't find the vibrating whatever because she's testing out her control of his limbs. Being in a male body is quite new to her. As new to her as it was for him to be in her body.

She does want to ask what he means by being occupied by 'girls', but she'll drop it for now.

River's there, it's just taking her a longer period of time to adjust to the alien feelings, sensations, emotions, and thoughts. He was flooding her mind much stronger then when he'd been in her body.

And as tempting as his memories are, she gives him the same courtesy he had given her.

No wonder you're so awkward. I can barely walk with your legs River's voice, loud and clear in his mind. She tries to take a step with his long limbs and promptly stumbles.

I hate to think of my body out there spreading flower petals. A pause. Who is trying to get in contact with you?

[hark_a_monster]

Well River, prepare to have your answer.

"Lord Bolt!" The time dragon's huge face can be seen if you look into the part where the smoke usually comes out. In fact, now that's all done up with vibrating it's glowing a rather nice shade of blue. The tiny little gears click and clank like clockwork, sort of like a loud pocket watch. Analog's voice is distorted, perhaps not the best of connections and communications but for now it will do.

There is a chorus of giggles behind her. Female giggles, possibly from two to three ladies. 'Lord Bolt' knows the answer to that one.

"So this thing still does work, marvelous! How long has it been since you had this stuffed in your pocket exactly?" A pause. "No, no wait, that's right. The time stream on this ship is rather all messed up. Perhaps it would be best to tell me how long you feel that it's been hmm?" She gives him a wink, and a few tiny gears fall out.

[makeherblue]

That, River Song, is Complicated.

And he'll have you know that he has perfectly serviceable legs! You just have to...throw them out a bit. It's like stilts. Exactly like stilts bolted on. If River had spent more time learning how to walk with stilts and less time learning how to shoot and dig holes like an archeologist, she would know how to walk with his body. It's just that simple. Sometimes, he thinks at River, you really need to assess what count as life skills. Archaeology isn't one of them, you know! If River's body is out there showering the ship with flower petals, then he personally thinks it's doing something more useful than her normal job.

The Doctor has to fumble with the pipe now that two people are trying to share one pair of hands and ah - there Analog is. And...

And the giggling. Oh, that giggling, he remembers the giggling and the three princessi and despite his attempts to close it all off, River might be getting some feedback of his memory of what it was like to be "Lord Bolt' for a week. (And yes, Analog was watching). The Doctor's face immediately turns red all over again, right to the roots of his hair.

"Analog," he says, trying to pretend he didn't see that atrocity of a wink. "Several weeks, if not months. I think. You know how time is when it's wibbly."

[hullo_sweetie]

River already knows that his definition of complicated is actually code word for 'embarrassing stuff he doesn't want other people to know about. But she'll drop it for now. Really she will.

If she's actually offended by the Doctor's assessment of her life's work and non-existent skills of walking on stilts, it doesn't show. Still, she has to give him what-for about that insult to archaeology. Oh I don't know, archaeology has come in quite handy when it comes to digging you up through time and space. Also, you're double-blessed because archaeologists find old things fascinating and you're about as old as they come. Ha, take that!

Also, she has no qualms with taking one of his hands off the 'pipe' and using it to pinch his side. Cheeky old girl she is, even if she can feel that jolt of pain as well. Be thankful I can't slap you right now.

Giggling. Feminine giggling and embarrassment. Ah, feel that heat coming from River? That's a hint of jealousy. Doctor, what on earth were you up to?

"You're addressing River Song and the Doctor - blimey you sound odd from the inside."

[hark_a_monster]

"River Song? Who in Time Dragon's Great Metallic Oil Blazes names their kid River Song? Rivers can't sing, they just make their way all over land and flood up with too much rain. Never liked rivers really, unless it was with oil." Thank you Analog, for your riveting and brilliant monolog that had nothing to do with this but insult someone.

Same old. Same old.

It was rather particular then, that she stuck her head closer to the pipe until...well, most of it came out of it like genie stuck inside, the now gigantic head-only form looking at the Doctor (who was pinching himself) with one gear-filled eye. Silence, then she reached over and smelled him so loudly his hair blew up into the air. Quite a site to behold, all things considered, having a Time Lord holding a tiny pipe with a gigantic metallic time dragon's head hovering above it like there as no problem in the world.

"Oh!" she said, her voice much lowered than before, the grumbling impossible to miss. "I can smell that. The stench of another. Really Lord Bolt, you should know better than to let a female fuse with you on such a molecular level."

[makeherblue]

River, you're too quick sometimes. Quick enough that he doesn't have to tell you that Complicated is just easier as shorthand and it tends to get a lot less questions asked by, say, nosy humans who can't take no or "I'm busy" for an answer.

And does she have to pinch him? The Doctor jumps almost out of his skin when his own hand sneaks around and gets him right in the side.

He even makes an undignified squeak. Congratulations, River. You and Analog have now heard the Time Lord version of a squeak.

The Doctor struggles to compose himself and his body. Right. Lord of Time, Lord Bolt things plus Doctor Song in him. Privately he has to say that River Song, contrary to what Analog says in her grumpy Time Dragon way, is a perfectly lovely name; at any rate he likes it, the Doctor huffing and he could go without the dragon head suddenly hovering over him. It's already much closer than he would've liked Analog. One week was scarred into his memory, worse than the very worst case of food poisoning he'd had in all his lives. The Doctor finds himself leaning away from the pipe in his hands now that he's very...personal with Analog's gears right in his face.

"Couldn't be helped," the Doctor says, trying to regain control of the situation. Between River inside him and Analog nearly blowing his hair right off the top of his head, it's harder than it looks! "So! Yes! What you're here for. Maybe you and your princessi could help with this fusing problem. Are you busy? Full schedule of hoarde guarding, I suppose."

With her, it's difficult to tell. Given she's a Time Dragon, he's surprised she's surprised at their current body-sharing status. He thinks she would have seen it coming.

[hullo_sweetie]

Strange how River doesn't even bat an eye - if she had one - at the strange time dragon whose head was peaking out of a pipe. She's gotten used to these strange things over years.

And that squeak was adorable. River's laughing in his head.

"Let's just say it's a name I grew into and I'm proud of it. Rivers run fast and strong." River retorts, butting into the Doctor's conversation rather rudely. Sorry love, River's not the sort to back down easily. Melody was her birth name. River Song was the head strong woman she'd grown into once she'd been given a glimpse of her future-self. Well now River was that future self. It was all a bit confusing. Time travel, you can never keep everything straight in your head.

"Yes, any help would be appreciated. I quite prefer my own body."