VIDEOGAME LAND
"Welcome-a to Videoland!" tells you an animatronic, rusted and chipping man. "My name is-a Somari the Spaceman! It's-a very good to see you, woohoo, ha ha!!" Next to him a green (also chipped and rusted) fat Hedgehog statue dressed in green and with a leather outfit stands close doing a peace sign. "And I'm his good buddy, Scory the Porcupine! Welcome to Videolang Buddy!"
Ahh Videoland! Popular no less than ten years ago, it has began a recent decline compared to the other parts of Happy Happy Land due to most of their clientele simply growing too old for it and going off to the other parts of the planet. Still waiting for a new deal with a game provider to use their licenses, it becomes older and more jaded, still trying to have the same magic as a while ago, but the dream being long gone. The world is now a dangerous combination of video games bordering bootleg and strange creatures and things that are just the right amount off not to be written as simple copied parodies. Costumed men and women wear the suits of the mascots, and a few pretty girls wearing the Princess Lana, Ruler of Videoland™ costume don't look as bright and cheerful as they should be. Every four hours, there's a Captain N: The Gamemaster show, with the typical theme park overacting and asking kids questions as anagrammatic versions of Mother Brains, Eggplant Wizard & King D'ippo capture her and have to be saved by Rock N' Rollman, Solomon Belmont, Kid Icarus and, of course, Captain N, the Game Master.
Everything seems sort of wrong. Like a marketing gimmick that caught on. The annoying young kids seem to like the show, mind you.
However if you're not here to watch terrible theater productions, the park is divided into six subsections, accessible by a monorail. Well, when the monorail is working anyway (and it is today! LUCKY YOU!) When you arrive you are standing near the Palace of Power, large, impressive (and pink) castle that apparently belongs to Princess Lana.
Kongoland is jungle-themed. Once in a while you see a large animatronic ape roar in the distance, but it looks completely fake. The sections' biggest draw is, of course, the Videoland Arcade. Somari's classical game is displayed prominently, but there are also spinoffs like the slot machines and a really, really intergalactic popular hit, Kart Fighter. Kart Fighter has an entire subgame community dedicated to it. On most days you can find foul-smelling aliens huddled together on the big screens, watching the tournaments going on.
The game is only surpassed by the other mass playing Monster Dragon Tactics Phone. Teenagers and young kids can be seen walking around with their portable console, playing the game, exchanging Monster Dragons and just making walking around in this room a bit worse. If you stay, there is more! Panda Adventure, Jurassic Boy 2, The Dragon...
But...if you look closely, you might start to notice some strange things. Like this Hardy & Centaur Take on Black Dragon Queen! arcade game, Night Fedyd games, Advance Emblem, Fire Wars, Scory the Porcupine, Deus Ex Machina: Building of an Empire, Nurse Who, McNinja Burger, Age of Dragons, Final Quest of the Fantasy, Dungeons and Dorks, Ronin Sentai Rangers, Effect of the Dark Mass, Space Pirates!, Danbateyo! Clash of Ninja-Pirates, Magical Teleportation Gun Adventure, Resident Sweet Home, Gate of the Stars, World of the Stars and Crafting, and Disgaea 77: The Quest for Even More Money. They're all here, in various sections. Pricing is based on hourly play for some and judging by the amount of food, some aliens have been here for a long while, saying out numbers and things like robots, talking with their teammates.
The second level is dedicated to all sorts of instrument and rhythm games. Dance Dance Revolution, Guitaro Devil, Guitar Angel, Guitar Super Angel Devil the Second Best DX, Popo and Nana Rythm Fever, Drum Drum Super Beat Master, Sing sing your Heart Out! and of course the classic, Band of House Rock.
The third level has all sorts of board and card games, but only the nerdiest of the nerds go there and they tend to be...really special.
The food served here is jungle-themed as well, overpriced, tiki umbrellas and roasted bananas everywhere.
MetroidSpacepirateland is pretty much your terrible run horror section of a theme park, with four haunted houses, terrible horror movies in the scare-o-thing being displaced in 4D SMELL TECHNOLOGY (bring a coat, you'll get wet!). Men and women dressed up as space pirates move around the theme part, pushing everyone and probably the only costumed people in Videoland to enjoy what they get to do - be grumpy and annoying and get paid to do it. There are zombie movies of every kind in the classic section, mostly in black and white.
Food is BBQ themed, large racks of meat are roasted around in pits everywhere by zombie-dressed attendants and space pirates.
Centered in everything, a large tent gives out horoscopes by famous Madam Rizzles, for a mere (read: very very overpriced) fee!
Megaland, is a sort of future world, where everything is bright shiny silver, sleekly designed and hosts Videoland's biggest rides and luck-based games. This is Rock N Rollman's world and you can see the tiny green guy shaking hands, posing with kids, and just generally being himself. Something about "To Energy Tanks and Beyond!" Do you like neon? Hopefully because this place is filled with it. NEON OF EVERY COLOR.
There are roller-coaster rides, space shooters, laser shooters, that spinning thingie everyone knows what it is by looking but can never really name, an entire row of zippers, spinners high atop the largest tower (you have to sign papers) and so on.
You can win toys of every kind! Space robots! Superheroes! Other types of super heroes (WITH SWORDS!!) Baman and Robbit action figures! Horribly disfigured plush toys hang on nearly every game booth as booth owners scream out in loud microphones for you to come try your luck at this or that and get a large overstuffed toy, all videogame themed. Somari is present everywhere from toys to plushies to an entire line of Kart Fighter outfits. Kat (with bright red hair) from Advance Emblem and Maverik (who has pink hair and a yellow outfit) can by won in a shooting game. Some transforming action figures too!
A large dog goes around in a costume giggling at the loosing contestants and generally being a pain. It is a miracle no one has killed him.
The food is videogame themed. There is also pizza of every kind and a special kind of cake that is served.
Mount Icarus is the children's section of the theme park. Dangerous but child-size rides are scattered across out, with the Kid Icarus themed yoyo swings, a tunnel of love (cause he looks like Cupid, you see) and magic cloud carpet rides (we don't know either)!
Children's food and ice cream colors are available, very, very overpriced. You're better to go to another overpriced part of the planet than to eat here.
Castlevania is half horror (since Space Pirate Land stole some of that) half medeval land. There is a special section of the the section (a subsection if you will) called Carnival of the Damned that boast the biggest coaster on the planet, the Monkey Island theme ride! The entire ride lasts for a mine-shattering 10 minutes boasts several drops, and lava and claims that no accidents have happened for the last TEN DAYS! WOW!
As with everything, it is medieval-video game themed. You can pose with the main hero, get yourself some leather whips and 'holy' water (not really holy), and fight off some men in vampire costumes.
The only food you can find here is Fish-Cream Sandwiches which are fancy baguettes with roasted eel (but shh that is a secret), cheese and cream inside. That's it. Nothing else. Well actually, there is the wild waffle reserve that allows you to hunt for one waffle if you want to pay the price, but they are hard to catch.
With all these sections it might take a while! Or you'll just run off in horror to another park and never, ever look back.
Ahh Videoland! Popular no less than ten years ago, it has began a recent decline compared to the other parts of Happy Happy Land due to most of their clientele simply growing too old for it and going off to the other parts of the planet. Still waiting for a new deal with a game provider to use their licenses, it becomes older and more jaded, still trying to have the same magic as a while ago, but the dream being long gone. The world is now a dangerous combination of video games bordering bootleg and strange creatures and things that are just the right amount off not to be written as simple copied parodies. Costumed men and women wear the suits of the mascots, and a few pretty girls wearing the Princess Lana, Ruler of Videoland™ costume don't look as bright and cheerful as they should be. Every four hours, there's a Captain N: The Gamemaster show, with the typical theme park overacting and asking kids questions as anagrammatic versions of Mother Brains, Eggplant Wizard & King D'ippo capture her and have to be saved by Rock N' Rollman, Solomon Belmont, Kid Icarus and, of course, Captain N, the Game Master.
Everything seems sort of wrong. Like a marketing gimmick that caught on. The annoying young kids seem to like the show, mind you.
However if you're not here to watch terrible theater productions, the park is divided into six subsections, accessible by a monorail. Well, when the monorail is working anyway (and it is today! LUCKY YOU!) When you arrive you are standing near the Palace of Power, large, impressive (and pink) castle that apparently belongs to Princess Lana.
Kongoland is jungle-themed. Once in a while you see a large animatronic ape roar in the distance, but it looks completely fake. The sections' biggest draw is, of course, the Videoland Arcade. Somari's classical game is displayed prominently, but there are also spinoffs like the slot machines and a really, really intergalactic popular hit, Kart Fighter. Kart Fighter has an entire subgame community dedicated to it. On most days you can find foul-smelling aliens huddled together on the big screens, watching the tournaments going on.
The game is only surpassed by the other mass playing Monster Dragon Tactics Phone. Teenagers and young kids can be seen walking around with their portable console, playing the game, exchanging Monster Dragons and just making walking around in this room a bit worse. If you stay, there is more! Panda Adventure, Jurassic Boy 2, The Dragon...
But...if you look closely, you might start to notice some strange things. Like this Hardy & Centaur Take on Black Dragon Queen! arcade game, Night Fedyd games, Advance Emblem, Fire Wars, Scory the Porcupine, Deus Ex Machina: Building of an Empire, Nurse Who, McNinja Burger, Age of Dragons, Final Quest of the Fantasy, Dungeons and Dorks, Ronin Sentai Rangers, Effect of the Dark Mass, Space Pirates!, Danbateyo! Clash of Ninja-Pirates, Magical Teleportation Gun Adventure, Resident Sweet Home, Gate of the Stars, World of the Stars and Crafting, and Disgaea 77: The Quest for Even More Money. They're all here, in various sections. Pricing is based on hourly play for some and judging by the amount of food, some aliens have been here for a long while, saying out numbers and things like robots, talking with their teammates.
The second level is dedicated to all sorts of instrument and rhythm games. Dance Dance Revolution, Guitaro Devil, Guitar Angel, Guitar Super Angel Devil the Second Best DX, Popo and Nana Rythm Fever, Drum Drum Super Beat Master, Sing sing your Heart Out! and of course the classic, Band of House Rock.
The third level has all sorts of board and card games, but only the nerdiest of the nerds go there and they tend to be...really special.
The food served here is jungle-themed as well, overpriced, tiki umbrellas and roasted bananas everywhere.
MetroidSpacepirateland is pretty much your terrible run horror section of a theme park, with four haunted houses, terrible horror movies in the scare-o-thing being displaced in 4D SMELL TECHNOLOGY (bring a coat, you'll get wet!). Men and women dressed up as space pirates move around the theme part, pushing everyone and probably the only costumed people in Videoland to enjoy what they get to do - be grumpy and annoying and get paid to do it. There are zombie movies of every kind in the classic section, mostly in black and white.
Food is BBQ themed, large racks of meat are roasted around in pits everywhere by zombie-dressed attendants and space pirates.
Centered in everything, a large tent gives out horoscopes by famous Madam Rizzles, for a mere (read: very very overpriced) fee!
Megaland, is a sort of future world, where everything is bright shiny silver, sleekly designed and hosts Videoland's biggest rides and luck-based games. This is Rock N Rollman's world and you can see the tiny green guy shaking hands, posing with kids, and just generally being himself. Something about "To Energy Tanks and Beyond!" Do you like neon? Hopefully because this place is filled with it. NEON OF EVERY COLOR.
There are roller-coaster rides, space shooters, laser shooters, that spinning thingie everyone knows what it is by looking but can never really name, an entire row of zippers, spinners high atop the largest tower (you have to sign papers) and so on.
You can win toys of every kind! Space robots! Superheroes! Other types of super heroes (WITH SWORDS!!) Baman and Robbit action figures! Horribly disfigured plush toys hang on nearly every game booth as booth owners scream out in loud microphones for you to come try your luck at this or that and get a large overstuffed toy, all videogame themed. Somari is present everywhere from toys to plushies to an entire line of Kart Fighter outfits. Kat (with bright red hair) from Advance Emblem and Maverik (who has pink hair and a yellow outfit) can by won in a shooting game. Some transforming action figures too!
A large dog goes around in a costume giggling at the loosing contestants and generally being a pain. It is a miracle no one has killed him.
The food is videogame themed. There is also pizza of every kind and a special kind of cake that is served.
Mount Icarus is the children's section of the theme park. Dangerous but child-size rides are scattered across out, with the Kid Icarus themed yoyo swings, a tunnel of love (cause he looks like Cupid, you see) and magic cloud carpet rides (we don't know either)!
Children's food and ice cream colors are available, very, very overpriced. You're better to go to another overpriced part of the planet than to eat here.
Castlevania is half horror (since Space Pirate Land stole some of that) half medeval land. There is a special section of the the section (a subsection if you will) called Carnival of the Damned that boast the biggest coaster on the planet, the Monkey Island theme ride! The entire ride lasts for a mine-shattering 10 minutes boasts several drops, and lava and claims that no accidents have happened for the last TEN DAYS! WOW!
As with everything, it is medieval-video game themed. You can pose with the main hero, get yourself some leather whips and 'holy' water (not really holy), and fight off some men in vampire costumes.
The only food you can find here is Fish-Cream Sandwiches which are fancy baguettes with roasted eel (but shh that is a secret), cheese and cream inside. That's it. Nothing else. Well actually, there is the wild waffle reserve that allows you to hunt for one waffle if you want to pay the price, but they are hard to catch.
With all these sections it might take a while! Or you'll just run off in horror to another park and never, ever look back.