When You're Gone [[Open]]
This was the only place he felt safe, the one place that seemed to soothe his constant migraines. His back against the tree, armour in a pile beside him, Nate felt safe here. This had been their favourite simulation, whenever they'd been able to steal an hour or so together. Their favourite place in the entire universe. Nothing had changed, the sky was just as bright, the grass as brilliantly green, and the shade beneath the tree was just as deliciously cooling as always. Yet now, now it wasn't complete. It was as if the light had gone out of this place. The simulation had always felt real before, indistinguishable from reality. But now it seemed could. Devoid of life.
He'd kept his gauntlets on. From between his hands a tiny hologram of Cassie beamed up at him, running a hand through her hair. He had thought for a moment, about asking Stacy to call her from his memories. But what would that fix? It wasn't what she would have wanted either, and to do that would have been like admitting that she was gone. It shouldn't have been this way. It didn't seem real. How could she have been gone? It still felt like, at any moment, she would walk through the Sensorium door, settle down in the grass next to him, and fall asleep, her head on his chest. How could she have been gone? One moment there, the next, snuffed out as if she'd never existed. Staring down at the hologram, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes burning as the tears brimmed up and overflowed, glittering in the simulated sunlight as they fell to the grass. Was it meant to hurt this much? He'd never felt anything like it. There was no pain that could compare to this. Not being blasted by Kang, not being hit by Teddy, not even having his throat cut. It hurt. It felt like there was a huge hole in his chest, a hole that was pulling him in until there would be nothing left.
Clenching his fists, the hologram faded away, and he pressed his hands against his forehead, choking back a sob. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't. They'd never asked to be here. All she'd wanted was to be home again, see her father again. Was that so much to ask? It wasn't fair. It simply wasn't fair. Not after how hard they'd fought, after how much they'd sacrificed to protect worlds that weren't their own. It wasn't fair.
Opening his hands again, the hologram faded back into being, and he stared down at it, fresh tears spilling across his face to patter against the metal of the gauntlets.
"I love you, Cassie. Always."