Getting back to you.
There was a time to be with the crew. There was a time to be with her Sisters and her ship mother. There was a time to explore and make new friends. Now, because of the efforts of her friends, there was time to spend with Aang too. Every once in awhile, however, there were times where Katara went off by herself to figure things out.
Ironically, it was BECAUSE of her time with Aang, especially recently, that Katara had to have time alone right now. The thing was, to be honest, she hated having to be the responsible one, the one that pulled back now. That had been HER call, and it was a call that made it seem liker Katara was the one with experience or at least the one who would admonish Aang in this new territory of a relationship called "going too far." It wasn't that far a stretch, really: from the crew's interactions, it was clear that issue surfaced every once and awhile, and it wasn't unusual to here from women how men were all after one thing. In fact, she'd heard that echoed in her own world from grown up conversations where no one thought she was listening too: she didn't completely disagree on it with some men. Certainly some could be driven by their impulses, something she knew Sheeana might see as a weakness unless properly contained.
But amidst all these conversations, LOVE never was a part of it, at least, not when it came to the kind of sex that wasn't about flirting and double talk. For love, she'd always view Will and Matt as one example, then Fate and Nanoha as another. Katara had to ask Nanoha at first about having fate as a girlfriend since Nanoha was a new friend, but once she saw them together there was no mistaking it: they loved each other very much, you could see it all around them. With Will she;d known her longer and Will gushed about her boyfriend, but once she met Matt she knew exactly what Will saw in him. He was a man that gave himself to be kind, who cared about his friends and would be there to help you. By that alone, she could see the love that he had for Will, the person he cared for most of all.
But what she hadn't expected was that love and sex could be NOT mutually exclusive: one could bring the other up and come so suddenly and passionately that you weren't prepared to turn away in the first place. She'd had a lot of time to pine away for Aang, to hope that he would see her as he had then, with all the time that had passed. Even though she knew she wanted to be with him, there was the possibility that, older, he was perfectly able to seek any other girl on the ship.
But god, that had been stupid, so stupid. Had she forgotten that look he gave when he saw her, the ways his eyes would slowly meet hers and she knew he couldn't hide his feelings from her because it was Aang, and it was typical that the airbending monk who had turned away from learning the Avatar state to find her would ever want that. Her fears revealed themselves in the Spice dream and died there: she realized Aang was a part of her world, and she couldn't be without him: he had become her heart, her bond.
And with that love came a whole new sort of feeling, feelings she was the GIRL and had to ignore because the girl did not let this happen. The stupid ship had to remind them that they were still subject to someone else's whims, and she pulled herself back even though everything in her was screaming NO I WANT HIM ITS NOT FAIR!!!!
But she had waited months, and when they went there, it would be special, it would be right. It would be something only they shared and a thing that just they understood. Katara hated being the one that enforced that because he was Aang, and she loved him so deeply she wasn't even ashamed that they'd gotten that far. No one had ever made her feel this complete, this happy, warm feeling that made her love everything and everyone and made her forget that she had to look at everything harshly. She wasn't naive, not by a long shot, but for a very long time, she'd had to be wary about everything: the Bene Gesserit, the people she met, the things Sokka said. She had to worry about losing her culture and being tricked and trusting the wrong person and people getting hurt, all the while that aching cutting into her because he was missing.
And he was here, and now her world had changed and she could...smile and be happy.
The Sensorium became the Cave of Two Lovers, the place she had first kissed Aang. She knew Toph would have liked this place as you needed badger moles to get out of it otherwise. She was here, and yet she wasn't. She should train soon and she knew that, but right now she just wanted to get lost in her thoughts.
Aang, she thought, its hard for me too.
Ironically, it was BECAUSE of her time with Aang, especially recently, that Katara had to have time alone right now. The thing was, to be honest, she hated having to be the responsible one, the one that pulled back now. That had been HER call, and it was a call that made it seem liker Katara was the one with experience or at least the one who would admonish Aang in this new territory of a relationship called "going too far." It wasn't that far a stretch, really: from the crew's interactions, it was clear that issue surfaced every once and awhile, and it wasn't unusual to here from women how men were all after one thing. In fact, she'd heard that echoed in her own world from grown up conversations where no one thought she was listening too: she didn't completely disagree on it with some men. Certainly some could be driven by their impulses, something she knew Sheeana might see as a weakness unless properly contained.
But amidst all these conversations, LOVE never was a part of it, at least, not when it came to the kind of sex that wasn't about flirting and double talk. For love, she'd always view Will and Matt as one example, then Fate and Nanoha as another. Katara had to ask Nanoha at first about having fate as a girlfriend since Nanoha was a new friend, but once she saw them together there was no mistaking it: they loved each other very much, you could see it all around them. With Will she;d known her longer and Will gushed about her boyfriend, but once she met Matt she knew exactly what Will saw in him. He was a man that gave himself to be kind, who cared about his friends and would be there to help you. By that alone, she could see the love that he had for Will, the person he cared for most of all.
But what she hadn't expected was that love and sex could be NOT mutually exclusive: one could bring the other up and come so suddenly and passionately that you weren't prepared to turn away in the first place. She'd had a lot of time to pine away for Aang, to hope that he would see her as he had then, with all the time that had passed. Even though she knew she wanted to be with him, there was the possibility that, older, he was perfectly able to seek any other girl on the ship.
But god, that had been stupid, so stupid. Had she forgotten that look he gave when he saw her, the ways his eyes would slowly meet hers and she knew he couldn't hide his feelings from her because it was Aang, and it was typical that the airbending monk who had turned away from learning the Avatar state to find her would ever want that. Her fears revealed themselves in the Spice dream and died there: she realized Aang was a part of her world, and she couldn't be without him: he had become her heart, her bond.
And with that love came a whole new sort of feeling, feelings she was the GIRL and had to ignore because the girl did not let this happen. The stupid ship had to remind them that they were still subject to someone else's whims, and she pulled herself back even though everything in her was screaming NO I WANT HIM ITS NOT FAIR!!!!
But she had waited months, and when they went there, it would be special, it would be right. It would be something only they shared and a thing that just they understood. Katara hated being the one that enforced that because he was Aang, and she loved him so deeply she wasn't even ashamed that they'd gotten that far. No one had ever made her feel this complete, this happy, warm feeling that made her love everything and everyone and made her forget that she had to look at everything harshly. She wasn't naive, not by a long shot, but for a very long time, she'd had to be wary about everything: the Bene Gesserit, the people she met, the things Sokka said. She had to worry about losing her culture and being tricked and trusting the wrong person and people getting hurt, all the while that aching cutting into her because he was missing.
And he was here, and now her world had changed and she could...smile and be happy.
The Sensorium became the Cave of Two Lovers, the place she had first kissed Aang. She knew Toph would have liked this place as you needed badger moles to get out of it otherwise. She was here, and yet she wasn't. She should train soon and she knew that, but right now she just wanted to get lost in her thoughts.
Aang, she thought, its hard for me too.