Free ice cream! [open]

[hack_rat]

 Alex sat beneath the shade of a large tree in a decent sized park. Those familiar with New York might recognize the sky scrapers in the distance, even if they didn't recognize the park itself.  Parked on a small service road was an ice cream truck with a merry vendor, who claimed that it was customer appreciation day, and was thus giving ice cream

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[zouichi]

Zouichi looked around at the buildings, curious; it looked just like the old pictures of New York he'd read about in books, a mass of tall buildings and sidewalks (no one had yet to yell at him to stop standing around blocking traffic, though). Alex was fairly easy to find, resting in the shade eating his ice cream.

As he approached, he didn't call out, but rather began tapping rapidly on his Omnicomm, presenting Alex with the screen after he was finished.

You must tell me how to beat the boss, it said. My units simply do not have the offensive power to destroy him and his minions.

He paused, then typed an additional, Nice park, by the way.

[hack_rat]

Alex read it and laughed, "You t-tell me. I think the AI m-might be a b-bit too intuitive. It l-learns your m-methods a b-bit too well. T-try doing something t-totally unlike y-your normal methods."

He looked around at the park, "I-it's a f-few blocks from my h-home. It's n-not quite as nice as Central P-Park, but... Is there a r-reason you're ty-typing on your o-omnicomm?"

[zouichi]

Totally unlike my normal methods? He thought for a minute, then typed, I always attempt to finish the levels in the most efficient manner possible. Are you saying that I must try to be less efficient?

What park is this? Bryant? It is still quite nice.

I seem to be under some sort of magical effect that randomly activates when I speak aloud. I am trying not to cause any more incidents until I can get this issue resolved.

[hack_rat]

"Marcus G-Garvey park, actually. M-maybe being less efficient would confuse the AI. Try being efficiently inefficient?" At least Alex didn't seem bothered by the communication method. It was a way that he wasn't totally unfamiliar with, since it hadn't been entirely uncommon for him to get nervous enough that he couldn't talk.

"I w-wish I lived near B-Bryant Park. There's s-some nice penthouses over th-there."

[zouichi]

Efficiently unefficient? Zouichi looked mildly confused.

Isn't New York real estate supposed to be prohibitively expensive? he asked. At least, that's how it was in my time.

[hack_rat]

"It is, b-but, like every o-other city, it's g-got it's slums, an' since a f-few years before I was b-born it's jus' b-been getting worse. I hear th-that the place I'm in n-now was h-halfway d-decent place 30 years ago, c-comparatively, at l-least." He shrugged. It had been in the last ten years in which things had really gotten drastically worse, but it had been a steady decline since before he had been born.

[zouichi]

And now you live on a spaceship, said Zouichi. To him, the ship was considerably safer than Earth, but not necessarily better.

By the way, I have never had ice cream before. Do you have any recommendations?

[hack_rat]

The ship was safer, and it was a lot more welcoming too. "My p-personal favourite is the b-birthday c-cake one, but chocolate's a g-good standby that m-most people enjoy! Have you really n-never had ice c-cream before?"

[zouichi]

No, he typed. Am I missing something?

Zouichi walked over to the truck, then after a moment, came back with a birthday cake-flavored ice cream cone, covered in chocolate syrup, sprinkles, and a rather ostentatious preserved cherry.

He took a bite out of one side, and almost doubled silently over, eyes wide, his free hand over his mouth. After a moment, he seemed to get it down, and began tapping out another message.

SWEET

SO SWEET

[hack_rat]

Alex jumped to his feet and went to Zouichi, his hand hovering over his back, wondering if he was having some sort of reaction to the food. When he saw the message, he couldn't help himself. He laughed. Hard.

"Ahaha! I sh-should've w-warned you! Y-yeah, I l-like s-sweet things. V-very sweet things."

[zouichi]

Zouichi coughed a little, trying to recover his composure. Ice cream was not like combat fare. At all.

IT TASTES LIKE A SNOWMAN, was the next message.

[hack_rat]

"S-snowmen aren't q-quite as c-creamy or sweet, b-but I guess y-you c-could say that. M-maybe you sh-should've gotten ch-chocolate. It's n-not nearly as sweet."

He still was laughing just a little bit at the reaction.

[zouichi]

No, he typed, recovering a little, Sorry. It tastes like a confectionery snowman decoration I ate off a cake once, before I knew better. It tasted like someone made it out of pure sugar.

He looked skeptically at Alex. No wonder children lose their teeth as they grow up. It's preemptive damage control.

[hack_rat]

Alex burst out laughing again. "I know that c-can't be right, but oh g-god! It makes s-stupid sense! I've b-been lucky, n-no tooth decay, with all th-the sugar I eat."

Really. Sweet things were the only things he really ever willingly ate, except for a few actual dinner entrées, when Mikel insisted they look normal when at a diner.

"R-really, m-maybe try th-the ch-choc-colate. It's n-not nearly as s-sweet."

[zouichi]

He looked vaguely horrified. You eat this sort of thing regularly?

Zouichi nodded at the suggestion, and went back to the ice cream truck, coming back in a moment or two.

That man let me exchange my ice cream, he said, looking a little bewildered. He took a smaller, warier bite this time, chewing the ice cream thoughtfully.

It's not bad.

[hack_rat]

Horrified was probably the right expression to have in response to that, and Alex had accepted that a long time ago.

"Ch-choc-c-

"...

"That f-flavour isn't n-nearly as sweet. M-most people like it. B-birthday c-cake isn't as popular."