Reaction 7: Catharsis?
Even my weakness, even my doubt, even my anger I submit to you, Lord. Even in my hatred I love you. Even my rebellion is obediance to you. I submit it all to you. I hold nothing back. I give all my uncertainty and rage to you, even as I rage against you.
I wrestle with you like Jacob. I wrestle and beat your invincible chest as I weep. You have touched my hip, Lord, and broken it. I will fight you and not let you out of my grasp until you bless me. Give me the blessing, Lord. Increase my faith. You will not let me out of your grasp, either. Fight with me, Lord. Wrestle with me. Break me and destroy me, so long as you don't release me. Never release me, Lord, though sometimes I hate you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I cry and beat and gnash my teeth and rage. I rage against you. But my rage melts into love in your arms. Wrestle with me, Lord. I need to beat your breast in futility, Lord. I need to. It will not hurt you. I cannot hurt you. Increase my faith, Lord! Increase my faith. Give me the blessing, for I will not let you go. This is faith. You are my Father. This is faith.
I wrestle with you like Jacob. I wrestle and beat your invincible chest as I weep. You have touched my hip, Lord, and broken it. I will fight you and not let you out of my grasp until you bless me. Give me the blessing, Lord. Increase my faith. You will not let me out of your grasp, either. Fight with me, Lord. Wrestle with me. Break me and destroy me, so long as you don't release me. Never release me, Lord, though sometimes I hate you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I cry and beat and gnash my teeth and rage. I rage against you. But my rage melts into love in your arms. Wrestle with me, Lord. I need to beat your breast in futility, Lord. I need to. It will not hurt you. I cannot hurt you. Increase my faith, Lord! Increase my faith. Give me the blessing, for I will not let you go. This is faith. You are my Father. This is faith.