SVU Rant: This Is Not For You
I was thinking about the current flap regarding Benson’s “new hair” and
it got me wondering - has Benson actually changed or is it my attitudes
regarding Benson that have changed? Like, if I only watched SVU, never
read message boards, or print articles or interviews, would Benson
still be the same butchy* character that I fell in love with?
Part of being involved in fandom is the dissection, analyzation. The sense of belonging. But, in doing so, it also has a tendency to color one’s thoughts and opinions. In that, a certain sense of ‘mania’ can overtake the fandom to the point of group mind think. While I haven’t necessarily outgrown my own fandom idolatry, I no longer have the need to consume everything and anything shat out by the cult of celebrity. I’m not particularly interested in reading every piece of minutia on someone. Mainly, it’s the characters I’m interested in. The fiction. I don’t need the actor portraying the role to be my best friend, save kittens or help old people across the street. (Not that it doesn’t hurt. *kisses* Kirsten Bell) I don’t feel the need to project myself onto the actor to enjoy the character they’re playing. For instance, I think Russel Crowe’s a thuggish jerk who I’d probably punch in the face had I the chance to meet him in person. Still, that doesn’t stop me from plunking down cash to watch anything he’s in. And, sure, I do have a line between the actions of a person and whether or not I’ll pay for their art. Vincent Gallo will never receive a dime of my money, pretentious STD-ridden twat. Or Roman Polanksi, or Woody Allen.
Which brings me back to Olivia Benson and Mariska Hargitay. Would I not care that her hair’s the same color as her face, or that she’s not as butchy as she used to be had I not read/been involved in many of the OB/MH discussions over the past few years? Would I have been as shocked at Olivia wearing pink had I not read about the ‘rumors’ of Hargitay’s insistence of the ‘femmeing of Benson’?
These are a lot of questions that I don’t necessarily have a lot of answers to. Part of me thinks I’ve let the fandom influence my opinions. Another part of me thinks that, yes, I would have noticed all these changes had I not been in the fandom. And another part of me thinks, it’s a bit of both. And then, there’s that part of me that thinks the actress who portrays the character I love really, really wishes I, as a lesbian fan, would just go away.
While I’m pretty certain, had I not been involved in the fandom, I would have noticed the decline in quality in the show. There’s just no denying it. Especially when one can compare actual new episodes versus repeats the exact same night. I’m still not certain I would have noticed the changes in Benson. Benson’s always occasionally dated. So, while “Escape” was one big giant manvil, it’s not exactly shocking that there’s a string of ex-boyfriend’s littering Benson’s past. BabyButch Benson slept with Cassidy in season one and almost slept with Sleazy Reporter. Season’s 2-4 Benson went on dates, some were gender specific. Benson’s always changed her hair.
Which brings me back to Mariska Hargitay. Of the two leads, I’d say MH puts the most of herself into the role. There’s no denying that the changes MH has made to herself personally have affected, adversely or not, the character she plays. The hair thing I can understand. Sometimes people want a change. But the skin? Jesus, why is it that people with great skin feel the need to fuck it up? MH with a natural tan is an awesome sight to behold. That fake-n-bake shit? Who the fuck thought that looked good? And whoever decided that injecting the toxins of botulism into one’s face would reduce wrinkles should be shot. And MH whoever told you that you needed Botox, or that what you did to your face was an improvement should be on the receiving end of a Suge Knight beat down. Because, let’s face it, it’s not just the lighting and makeup people who are making Benson look “haggard”.
Then, there’s MH herself. Unfortunately, I have read the articles, the rumors, etc. And this is the part where I really feel that the consumption of fandom has changed my opinions. Because, while reading these MH articles, seeing the pictures, I get the picture of a woman who’s trying to reclaim ownership of her character from the fans who see the character as gay. There is no separation between actor and character. There is not sense that she sees SVU as just a job. And I get this feeling, this sense, that MH is all ‘yes, love me, adulate me, praise me, buy my products off my website so I can vacation in Hawaii, genuflect before me because I am awesomeness and light but please, please keep your damn lesbian fantasies off me and my character. This is not for you‘.
And that’s it right there. There’s the sense that MH is really uncomfortable at the idea of being a dykon. Or, more specifically, at the idea of Olivia Benson being a lesbian icon. The character she portrays. The one that put her on the celebrity map after working in the biz for more than 20 years. The character that allowed the world to see her as Mariska Hargitay, actress and more than just ’the daughter of Jayne Mansfield’. And it pisses me off because Olivia Benson is NOT the property of Mariska Hargitay. Once those little images leave the cathode ray clutter, it becomes the property of the audience. Property I can watch and dissect and analyze and interpret how I damn well please until I’m blue in the face, thank you very much.
I don’t care about Mariska Hargitay. I don’t care that she’s straight or that she married Magic Earring Ken. Or that they’re fucking every other minute because her womanly baby basket is ovulating, and he has the bestest most magical dick in the world and they’re going to have a million heterosexual babies. Because that’s what real women do, you know.
I don’t care because MY Olivia Benson is gay. A big, fat honking butch dyke. And I will think of her as I please. She will always have short, brown hair. She will always have beautiful natural skin. She will kiss women. She will touch their vaginas. She will fuck and get fucked. Eyeshag anyone with XX chromosomes. Swagger harder than John Wayne after 3 weeks in the saddle. Wear leather, and tight shirts, and less than ten pounds of makeup. She will use sex toys, vibrators, dildos, strapons. Slide them into the closest vagina because they’re practically throwing themselves at her. If she fucks a man, it will be because she wants to not because it makes her less of a woman if she doesn't.
And you know what Mariska Hargitay, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Because - this is not for you.
* When I say butch, I mean it in the rhetorical sense, not just physical appearance. When it comes to butchy police cops, Yancy Butler's Sara Pezzini had long hair, and Sara could kick Benson's ass ten ways to Sunday while blind stinking drunk and one arm tied behind her back. And don't get me started on Starbuck the dykiest straight girl who ever dyked.
Part of being involved in fandom is the dissection, analyzation. The sense of belonging. But, in doing so, it also has a tendency to color one’s thoughts and opinions. In that, a certain sense of ‘mania’ can overtake the fandom to the point of group mind think. While I haven’t necessarily outgrown my own fandom idolatry, I no longer have the need to consume everything and anything shat out by the cult of celebrity. I’m not particularly interested in reading every piece of minutia on someone. Mainly, it’s the characters I’m interested in. The fiction. I don’t need the actor portraying the role to be my best friend, save kittens or help old people across the street. (Not that it doesn’t hurt. *kisses* Kirsten Bell) I don’t feel the need to project myself onto the actor to enjoy the character they’re playing. For instance, I think Russel Crowe’s a thuggish jerk who I’d probably punch in the face had I the chance to meet him in person. Still, that doesn’t stop me from plunking down cash to watch anything he’s in. And, sure, I do have a line between the actions of a person and whether or not I’ll pay for their art. Vincent Gallo will never receive a dime of my money, pretentious STD-ridden twat. Or Roman Polanksi, or Woody Allen.
Which brings me back to Olivia Benson and Mariska Hargitay. Would I not care that her hair’s the same color as her face, or that she’s not as butchy as she used to be had I not read/been involved in many of the OB/MH discussions over the past few years? Would I have been as shocked at Olivia wearing pink had I not read about the ‘rumors’ of Hargitay’s insistence of the ‘femmeing of Benson’?
These are a lot of questions that I don’t necessarily have a lot of answers to. Part of me thinks I’ve let the fandom influence my opinions. Another part of me thinks that, yes, I would have noticed all these changes had I not been in the fandom. And another part of me thinks, it’s a bit of both. And then, there’s that part of me that thinks the actress who portrays the character I love really, really wishes I, as a lesbian fan, would just go away.
While I’m pretty certain, had I not been involved in the fandom, I would have noticed the decline in quality in the show. There’s just no denying it. Especially when one can compare actual new episodes versus repeats the exact same night. I’m still not certain I would have noticed the changes in Benson. Benson’s always occasionally dated. So, while “Escape” was one big giant manvil, it’s not exactly shocking that there’s a string of ex-boyfriend’s littering Benson’s past. BabyButch Benson slept with Cassidy in season one and almost slept with Sleazy Reporter. Season’s 2-4 Benson went on dates, some were gender specific. Benson’s always changed her hair.
Which brings me back to Mariska Hargitay. Of the two leads, I’d say MH puts the most of herself into the role. There’s no denying that the changes MH has made to herself personally have affected, adversely or not, the character she plays. The hair thing I can understand. Sometimes people want a change. But the skin? Jesus, why is it that people with great skin feel the need to fuck it up? MH with a natural tan is an awesome sight to behold. That fake-n-bake shit? Who the fuck thought that looked good? And whoever decided that injecting the toxins of botulism into one’s face would reduce wrinkles should be shot. And MH whoever told you that you needed Botox, or that what you did to your face was an improvement should be on the receiving end of a Suge Knight beat down. Because, let’s face it, it’s not just the lighting and makeup people who are making Benson look “haggard”.
Then, there’s MH herself. Unfortunately, I have read the articles, the rumors, etc. And this is the part where I really feel that the consumption of fandom has changed my opinions. Because, while reading these MH articles, seeing the pictures, I get the picture of a woman who’s trying to reclaim ownership of her character from the fans who see the character as gay. There is no separation between actor and character. There is not sense that she sees SVU as just a job. And I get this feeling, this sense, that MH is all ‘yes, love me, adulate me, praise me, buy my products off my website so I can vacation in Hawaii, genuflect before me because I am awesomeness and light but please, please keep your damn lesbian fantasies off me and my character. This is not for you‘.
And that’s it right there. There’s the sense that MH is really uncomfortable at the idea of being a dykon. Or, more specifically, at the idea of Olivia Benson being a lesbian icon. The character she portrays. The one that put her on the celebrity map after working in the biz for more than 20 years. The character that allowed the world to see her as Mariska Hargitay, actress and more than just ’the daughter of Jayne Mansfield’. And it pisses me off because Olivia Benson is NOT the property of Mariska Hargitay. Once those little images leave the cathode ray clutter, it becomes the property of the audience. Property I can watch and dissect and analyze and interpret how I damn well please until I’m blue in the face, thank you very much.
I don’t care about Mariska Hargitay. I don’t care that she’s straight or that she married Magic Earring Ken. Or that they’re fucking every other minute because her womanly baby basket is ovulating, and he has the bestest most magical dick in the world and they’re going to have a million heterosexual babies. Because that’s what real women do, you know.
I don’t care because MY Olivia Benson is gay. A big, fat honking butch dyke. And I will think of her as I please. She will always have short, brown hair. She will always have beautiful natural skin. She will kiss women. She will touch their vaginas. She will fuck and get fucked. Eyeshag anyone with XX chromosomes. Swagger harder than John Wayne after 3 weeks in the saddle. Wear leather, and tight shirts, and less than ten pounds of makeup. She will use sex toys, vibrators, dildos, strapons. Slide them into the closest vagina because they’re practically throwing themselves at her. If she fucks a man, it will be because she wants to not because it makes her less of a woman if she doesn't.
And you know what Mariska Hargitay, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. Because - this is not for you.
* When I say butch, I mean it in the rhetorical sense, not just physical appearance. When it comes to butchy police cops, Yancy Butler's Sara Pezzini had long hair, and Sara could kick Benson's ass ten ways to Sunday while blind stinking drunk and one arm tied behind her back. And don't get me started on Starbuck the dykiest straight girl who ever dyked.