Me...According To My Spam
So, I get back from vacation Sunday and waiting for me in my Inbox is like 150 messages. About half of them spam. And I wondered -
What does my spam say about me?
Apparently, I'm a caucasion, heterosexual male with a very small penis constantly on the search for that one apparatus/drug that'll make me instantly hung like an elephant. I love porn, especially college-aged lolita types who are always begging me to look at pictures of them, when they're not begging me to urinate on them. That is, of course, when I'm not looking for that special little lady from Russia/Asia/South America who's soo totally in love with me and wants to get married. But why would I want to get hitched when I can get all the chicks with my specially made pheromones that'll have all the babes throwing themselves at me?
Even better news, I'm upwardly mobile and can get a gazillion percentage cut on my mortage. I'd do that *right now*, except my penis pump just came in the mail and I gotta use it while ogling the hot college freshman who's totally going to do me after I visit her site.
What does my spam say about me?
Apparently, I'm a caucasion, heterosexual male with a very small penis constantly on the search for that one apparatus/drug that'll make me instantly hung like an elephant. I love porn, especially college-aged lolita types who are always begging me to look at pictures of them, when they're not begging me to urinate on them. That is, of course, when I'm not looking for that special little lady from Russia/Asia/South America who's soo totally in love with me and wants to get married. But why would I want to get hitched when I can get all the chicks with my specially made pheromones that'll have all the babes throwing themselves at me?
Even better news, I'm upwardly mobile and can get a gazillion percentage cut on my mortage. I'd do that *right now*, except my penis pump just came in the mail and I gotta use it while ogling the hot college freshman who's totally going to do me after I visit her site.