in the airport
i am tired of the racialised experience in airports. i dont like how it feels.
i dont like being singled out, i dont like being watched, followed, photographed, or being special.
Even when they say its random, it no longer feels random -- such that on the occasion where I am not singalled out for an inspection, I feel like something special has happenned, and any second now, they are going to pul me back.
i want to just dissapear into the majority and not be suspect of anything.
i am tired.
it always happens like this:
there are anglo saxons who wont help me to check in when im running late:
"You People always ask for special treatment/ You People think you can control everything" etc.
there are Muslims, some african and some middle eastern, who always yell out:
"Shallloooooom!" Even from the other side of the room. Why do they make a big public display of saying something, uniquely especially at /to/for me.
The only ones who regularly do not give me a hard time are the sikhs. I have even bonded with sikhs in the airport, there was an older man with whom I would chat and ask for relationship advice.
There have been people who want to get inside my tefillin, want me to take off my tsitsis, take off my kippah, check under my beard....for What? What security risk is inside my beard??????
i dont like being singled out, i dont like being watched, followed, photographed, or being special.
Even when they say its random, it no longer feels random -- such that on the occasion where I am not singalled out for an inspection, I feel like something special has happenned, and any second now, they are going to pul me back.
i want to just dissapear into the majority and not be suspect of anything.
i am tired.
it always happens like this:
there are anglo saxons who wont help me to check in when im running late:
"You People always ask for special treatment/ You People think you can control everything" etc.
there are Muslims, some african and some middle eastern, who always yell out:
"Shallloooooom!" Even from the other side of the room. Why do they make a big public display of saying something, uniquely especially at /to/for me.
The only ones who regularly do not give me a hard time are the sikhs. I have even bonded with sikhs in the airport, there was an older man with whom I would chat and ask for relationship advice.
There have been people who want to get inside my tefillin, want me to take off my tsitsis, take off my kippah, check under my beard....for What? What security risk is inside my beard??????