piss off
today has just been the splendid culminating of one warped, over protracted week.
awoke to a distant alarm, peered through eye lids, bed covers, shutters and tinted windows to see a world outside equally blanketed. By a fucking thunderstorm. Its like June in singapore all over again. or whenever the monsoon season is.
6.50 in the morning and i faced the elephantine, impossible and tortuous task of:
Waking my niece up, BEgging her to walk the 10 steps to the bathroom, Cajoling her to get off the potty so i can deign to rest my gaze upon her milky bottom, Request the permission of wiping her ass, Pleading with her to brush her teeth, Carry her crying to her sock drawer to pick today's lucky pair, Bargain with her about how long she can lie on the floor to count dust bunnies burried in the carpet, and finally, with tears of joy, beseech her to aid me in buckling up her carseat.
and throughout the time i grovel in her 3 feet shadow, i have to listen to her barrage of :i don't like you, I don';t want to see you, Get out of my sight, I will poo poo on you, i dont want to go to school, i want my mummy, i want my daddy. or the all time killer classic, "i wont wake up, i wont brush my teeth, i won;t allow you to send me to school. then i'm going to tell my mummy i missed breakfast in school"
i am like THIS FAR from screaming at the little brat to SHUT THE FUCK UP. BLOODY CHAR SI NANG. KAN NI NA, LIKE I FUCKING WANT TO WIPE HER FUCKING ASS IN THE MORNING, AND LISTEN TO THE PATHETIC CRAP ABOUT HOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME, ONLY TO COME RUNNING AT MY HEELS TO BRING HER STICKERS FROM IN AND OUT OR SHE'LL TELL DADDY. TELL DADDY WHAT FUCK? I DON'T KNOW AND NEITHER DOES SHE. BUT SO WHAT. THEN SHE'LL POUT AND GO IN THIS NA NI NA NI POO POO VOICE THAT THIS IS HER HOUSE, THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE, ITS HER DADDY'S LAPTOP COS MINE CRASHED AND TRIES TO YANK THE FUCKING LAPTOP OFF WITH HER.
i am in need of some frivolous, calous, inexplicable violence. like killing a minor living creature. something like a cat.
to top it all off, in the midst of all that screaming, the bloody granny network steps in to ask why i didn't go with them for dinner last night.
dinner last night. Ha. whlie i was happily eating dinner last night, granny network calls and tell me to put down everything, food in my mouth included, for Heavens Rejoice! I am about to go for dinner. So dress up, look pretty, cos everyone God Damn Person from my future husband, his family, his extended family and the necesssay grannies were all going. i almost choked on my food and envisioned the mass mindless slaughter of a thousand pigs before repeating 10 000 times, WO2 BU4 XIANG2 ZHUO4 CHE4 ZHONG3 DONG1 XI1. WO2 XIAN4 ZHAI4 ZAI4 CHI1. XIAN4 ZAI4 CHI1. BU4 YAO4 ZHOU2. unfortunately, it wasn't just the anger preventing me from explaining myself more eloquently, for i've never felt the disadvantage of my mandarin inadequecy so much as that night.
i must have been real pissed cos i dun remember much of my confrontation with them carried out in between me licking the ground upon which my niece perfumes. only recalled raising my voice spitting in anger at frustration at the chaos around me and driving off in a fit of fury. later, they all apologized, and promised never to talk about it again. also said sorry for being duo1 shi4. i did not deny that fact. which made them even more akward. good.
Then i went to fill gas, and it was $2.80 A GALLON????????
Better yet, after filling it up, paying the money, filtering into the main road, the gas gauge showed only half tank?? THE SAME AMOUNT I CRAWLED INTO THE GAS STATION WITH. i paid fiucking 20 bucks to fill half the tank of an SUV and came out with the same amount in the tank??? restarted the car 3 times, and still there. and you can't blame the cold weather for freezing it cos this aint fucking michigan. then i drove to the airport and back, and the gas level went down to slightly more than a quarter tank. WHERE DID MY FUCKING GAS GO.????????
i don;t even want to think about what the weekend brings
awoke to a distant alarm, peered through eye lids, bed covers, shutters and tinted windows to see a world outside equally blanketed. By a fucking thunderstorm. Its like June in singapore all over again. or whenever the monsoon season is.
6.50 in the morning and i faced the elephantine, impossible and tortuous task of:
Waking my niece up, BEgging her to walk the 10 steps to the bathroom, Cajoling her to get off the potty so i can deign to rest my gaze upon her milky bottom, Request the permission of wiping her ass, Pleading with her to brush her teeth, Carry her crying to her sock drawer to pick today's lucky pair, Bargain with her about how long she can lie on the floor to count dust bunnies burried in the carpet, and finally, with tears of joy, beseech her to aid me in buckling up her carseat.
and throughout the time i grovel in her 3 feet shadow, i have to listen to her barrage of :i don't like you, I don';t want to see you, Get out of my sight, I will poo poo on you, i dont want to go to school, i want my mummy, i want my daddy. or the all time killer classic, "i wont wake up, i wont brush my teeth, i won;t allow you to send me to school. then i'm going to tell my mummy i missed breakfast in school"
i am like THIS FAR from screaming at the little brat to SHUT THE FUCK UP. BLOODY CHAR SI NANG. KAN NI NA, LIKE I FUCKING WANT TO WIPE HER FUCKING ASS IN THE MORNING, AND LISTEN TO THE PATHETIC CRAP ABOUT HOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME, ONLY TO COME RUNNING AT MY HEELS TO BRING HER STICKERS FROM IN AND OUT OR SHE'LL TELL DADDY. TELL DADDY WHAT FUCK? I DON'T KNOW AND NEITHER DOES SHE. BUT SO WHAT. THEN SHE'LL POUT AND GO IN THIS NA NI NA NI POO POO VOICE THAT THIS IS HER HOUSE, THIS IS NOT MY HOUSE, ITS HER DADDY'S LAPTOP COS MINE CRASHED AND TRIES TO YANK THE FUCKING LAPTOP OFF WITH HER.
i am in need of some frivolous, calous, inexplicable violence. like killing a minor living creature. something like a cat.
to top it all off, in the midst of all that screaming, the bloody granny network steps in to ask why i didn't go with them for dinner last night.
dinner last night. Ha. whlie i was happily eating dinner last night, granny network calls and tell me to put down everything, food in my mouth included, for Heavens Rejoice! I am about to go for dinner. So dress up, look pretty, cos everyone God Damn Person from my future husband, his family, his extended family and the necesssay grannies were all going. i almost choked on my food and envisioned the mass mindless slaughter of a thousand pigs before repeating 10 000 times, WO2 BU4 XIANG2 ZHUO4 CHE4 ZHONG3 DONG1 XI1. WO2 XIAN4 ZHAI4 ZAI4 CHI1. XIAN4 ZAI4 CHI1. BU4 YAO4 ZHOU2. unfortunately, it wasn't just the anger preventing me from explaining myself more eloquently, for i've never felt the disadvantage of my mandarin inadequecy so much as that night.
i must have been real pissed cos i dun remember much of my confrontation with them carried out in between me licking the ground upon which my niece perfumes. only recalled raising my voice spitting in anger at frustration at the chaos around me and driving off in a fit of fury. later, they all apologized, and promised never to talk about it again. also said sorry for being duo1 shi4. i did not deny that fact. which made them even more akward. good.
Then i went to fill gas, and it was $2.80 A GALLON????????
Better yet, after filling it up, paying the money, filtering into the main road, the gas gauge showed only half tank?? THE SAME AMOUNT I CRAWLED INTO THE GAS STATION WITH. i paid fiucking 20 bucks to fill half the tank of an SUV and came out with the same amount in the tank??? restarted the car 3 times, and still there. and you can't blame the cold weather for freezing it cos this aint fucking michigan. then i drove to the airport and back, and the gas level went down to slightly more than a quarter tank. WHERE DID MY FUCKING GAS GO.????????
i don;t even want to think about what the weekend brings