354 ; this life is too hard

[trainwreckate]

so i’m weird. i;m sorta lonely, a bit lost. and sick. i’m getting high for recreation and medicinally. b has been ignoring me. got drunk with e and kf (b’s friends) last night. noah g was there too. his house. some girl looked at me like i was crazy last night when i introduced myself to her because i thought she looked friendly, she wasn;t. idk what to do with my life. alec has been super busy and idk we got into a fight. nd i cried today for the first time in months. my sad should be gone, uhhh hello the sun is out. like wtf am i now more of a mess. i need to lose like ten pounds. a/b/+me/+everyone else would love me more if i lost it. i need a macbook i feel inferior to people that have them. uh kt dumped out my bowl last night and the screen fell out, it was so funny tho cuz i was drunk. i wanna get drunk with kt and just love him up. i know i would. whatever. my ribs hurt, speaking of. a like bones, when you can see skin and bones that’s why i also must lose ten pounds. ugh i love atmosphere. what’s a good healthy diet for me? i’m allergic to raw apples, raw carrots, watermellon, pineapple and i think that’s it. ughhh. my life is so sad. alex vw went to rehab now what do i do. my friends are goneeeeeeeeee. i’m deleting my fb friends. this is the most boring thing int he entire world. i’m going to find something healthy or nothing at all and watch house. maybe, idk. my parents are home now, they weren't before

i saw inception with my father tonight, rather good i liked it.

all my friends are going to some rave tonight. i am not invited because i'm not friends with any of those people anymore. this is fucking stupid. i'm just going to cry myself to sleep tonight this isn;'t worth it.