turn of events
Things are alot better now.. i don't understand why things are the way they are but i've accepted the fact that they are the way they are and there isn't a damn thing i can do about it.
I feel misplaced, lied to, and disrespected more then anything...
I didn't know a human being was capable of making someone feel so fucking good and then able to put them in their worst at the same time.
I've given up so many times, but then something happens and for some odd fucking reason I keep going...just to be put down and feel like shit again.
I've learned a valuable lesson, and that's to not speak of how someone makes you float. Don't tell them how awesome they make you feel because that just fucks everything up.
For the record, I hate being lied to. I hate fucking liars with everything I have in me. Why be something you hate?
I want to apologize to rouse. I know you liked her man, and I am sorry that I would have ever done something like that to you. When I was talking to her and listening to her, I just fell blindly. I totally forgot how you felt towards her, and I know I sure as hell wouldn't like seeing one of my best friends hook up with the girl that I like. Let alone told to tell that girl how I felt!
It's funny, yet sad how I can predict relationships before they happen. It sucks, but I guess I should use it to my advantage?
Another thing that is funny is dead aim. You converse with people online, and it saves all of your conversations that you had previously for your viewing pleasure later.
Since you don't answer your phone, and don't return your messages.. I guess I'll say what I have to say through this. It is, MY journal, is it not?
The few times I hung out with you were some of the greatest, most awesome times i've ever had with anyone, EVER! It sucks that things have ended the way they did?
AshleyBehrendt: i dont want to hurt you
Frank To The Max: the only way you could hurt me is if you have been lying to me this whole time
AshleyBehrendt: and i havent
AshleyBehrendt: i dont lie
If you weren't lying to me ashley, how the fuck do feelings disapear overnight? What's sad is that I actually thought there was a remote chance that you liked me half as much as I did you? But, I called it. I left for 5 days and shit hit the fan...
You lied to me about not getting that message. I don't understand.
I can honestly say that yesterday (because it's 4:22 in the morning right now) was one of the worst days of my life. It's one thing to talk about how shitty my last break up was and how "lame" it was, but it's another thing to not even call me to tell me to drop everything I've felt before.
I've opened my fucking eyes.
Needless to say, I was going to give up with everything...crawl into my little hole and die because I can never do anything right...even when I try to be so nice to people things just don't work out...but I met someone new today and started talking to them.
Turns out, they've been through the same shit I have.
blind date tomorrow and if this doesn't work, I quit.
good morning journal.
--frank