Dusk Into Dawn [Drabble]
Title: Dawn Into Dusk
Pairing: Simon/Kieren
Genre: romance
Lenght: 868
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters nor ITF.
While reading, listen to for a little frame by ninaian.
He had always hated to sleep, and he would try to avoid it even when he was alive. Sleeping reminded him of dying, it scared him to the extent that he had gotten sick, at some point, because he had stayed awake for five days in a row, painting and painting things he couldn’t remember now. That was not long before his last day, and even though he was so scared of death, he had realized he was even more scared of living; if it had to be without the person that made life bearable. He thought it was funny how everyone said it was normal to feel afraid in the dark, but really, what he resented most was dusk, and when the sun set the sky felt so heavy it made it hard to breathe.
After those five days the exhaustion had won over and he had only woken up twenty one hours later, feeling just as tired, just as drained. He could still recall the moment before he had closed his eyes; thoughts of never reopening them, never coming back. It terrified him but also made him at ease and he couldn’t understand why. When he had woken up the following night, he had cried and cried for hours, as quietly as he could to not alert his parents or Jem sleeping in the next room. He had gone out and into the woods, not sure what he was looking for.
When morning finally came, his eyes had stayed shut and he had opened his wrists instead, looking at the walls of the cave, barely visible; he looked at them more from memory. He knew this time he would not wake up, it would be different from sleeping and there wouldn’t be any dreams; no more dusk, and no more darkness either.
Even after waking up, after the Rising, and after he had come back, he had never stopped fearing falling asleep; it was also easier for him to stay awake at night now, since his body didn’t really need the recovery as much as when he was alive. In truth, he still avoided it as often as he could, however he knew that life was not exactly what he feared anymore.
It was late into morning now; he could barely feel the heath of the sunlight hitting his face, but the shapes inside his eyelids were red. He focused on the faint white spots dancing behind his closed eyes, listening to the hum of a car passing by, the wind through the leaves outside.
« Kieren » It was almost a whisper but the voice was rough with sleep. « I know you’re awake, your eyelids are moving. »
The body beside him shifted closer. It was strange how, although he was technically supposed to barely be affected by temperature, he had begun to feel the warmth of Simon’s skin a bit more every day, and it was something he liked to focus on in the morning, it helped him come back to reality after remnants of nightmares.
He revelled in the simple sensation of skin against his own and the blankets around them. In that moment, that was enough to keep him firmly tied to this reality, even though it wasn’t always the case.
Kieren opened his eyes, glancing to his left towards Simon. It was an eerie sight, the man’s skin almost translucent in the sunlight, melting with the white of the comforter.
He knew Simon had gone through a lot, and beyond his strong appearance, he could sense how Simon was, even now, afraid of so many things; the living, the people of the village particularly, Kieren’s family, if he had to be even more precise, but he also resented loneliness. He needed someone’s contact, someone’s approval, they were similar in different ways and maybe it was those fears that had brought them together, at first.
There were those moments, minutes and seconds of his new life when he found himself being the savior, and seeing Simon weak was terrible. How could he be strong when the one he assumed to be the strongest, also relied on him to stand straight? It was a lot to take in.
They kept each other alive, or something of the sort. Sure, Kieren also had his family, but in this instant, when the man laying beside him turned his head towards him, strands of hair hanging in his face, when their eyes met Kieren found it was, somewhat, just like the first time; in the cemetery, with the wind and a poem between them. He needed him.
Simon closed his eyes, and smiled a bit. Kieren looked at him and smiled too. He still hated sleeping. He didn’t think that would ever change. But having someone just as afraid, someone who understood the fear, who shared the fear until it almost vanished, someone who laughed at the fear with him and turned it into poetry, it was what he woke up for.
And when dusk came crawling in, darkness seeping into him, Simon’s hands came to cover his eyes and his mouth touched his skin. In that instant it was as if he dreamed, and dusk suddenly turned into dawn.
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A/N
I know I still have to continue Ursa Minor, and I will. But I had to get this out of my head. It's just a short drabble (it still took me the week to write, some days I can only come up with one sentence, one word, or a whole paragraph), but it's a lot of what popped up in me after finishing In The Flesh. It's also a manifestation of my need for a third season and witnessing Kieren and Simon's relationship unfold. I could write encyclopedias on what I love about them. What they have is so beautiful. I like to think that, even though he's meant to be the leader figure, Simon is actually the dependant one. Waking up in the morning-bed scenes are always my favorite scenes in the depiction of two character's relationship. I think it says and shows a lot about them. Anyway, I will try to get back to Ursa Minor as soon as I can. I'm in a bit of a block and to top it off I'm extremely busy with school, work, and an internship to boot. But it's coming. It is. Thanks for reading and commenting, and feel free to discuss ITF stuff with me!