Time for my yearly post
Well, I guess I may as well justify having a Livejournal account by writing something in here every now and then.
It has been ten hundred degrees the past few days, which makes me lament being such a tremendously sweaty man. My car's air conditioner is also non-functional, which also ranks highly on my list of things wich are lamentable. One thing I will never understand are people who claim to like hot weather better than cold weather. Existing in a permanent state of swamp-nuts to me is a far greater inconvenience than having to put on a coat.
On an unrelated note, I have been having some very bizarre dreams lately, which I suppose I can use to fill up several days' worth of LJ posts, perhaps even equalling my output from the last two years within a week's time. We'll see how long my newfound resolve lasts.
In the first dream I shall relate to you, my long-neglected but not entirely forgotten (though perhaps now completely nonexistant) readership, I dreamt that I had decided to completely shun society and live as an ape-man. I went out into the wooded areas of the suburbs of Richmond and hung around in trees, eating whatever I could find. Surprisingly, I soon found that I was able to swing from branch to branch with the greatest of ease, and was soon traversing large distances in this manner.
My parents, of course, were concerned for me, especially after I showed up in their back yard in my filthy, tattered clothing, eating leaves and rotten fruit from the garbage. They tried to convince me of the error of my ways, but alas I would not listen to reason. I was also much too fast in the trees for anyone to catch me. In a last-ditch effort, my folks hire a celebrity to try to talk me into returning to society. This celebrity turns out to be Jamie Foxx. I think the guy's pretty good actor, but I have no idea why he would suddenly show up in my dreams. Perhaps it's best not to wonder. At any rate, Jamie Foxx unexpectedly turns out to possess the same superhuman branch-swinging skills as I do. He easily catches up with me, despite my desperate evasive maneuvers and poop-flinging, and we engage in a very engrossing intellectual discussion at the top of a huge tree.
Jamie Foxx, as it turns out, is a really smart guy, and we talk for what seems like hours about whether American society is worth going back to, utilizing numerous historical and literary references. Eventually, my parents' plan backfires, as my evidently superior powers of reason convince Jamie Foxx to join me as an ape-man. We then proceed to swing through the trees all around the greater Richmond area, stealing food and flinging poo to our hearts' content.
Be sure to join me next time, when I will describe my eccentric English gentleman dream. Hopefully, that post will be forthcoming in considerably less time than has elapsed between my previous entries.
It has been ten hundred degrees the past few days, which makes me lament being such a tremendously sweaty man. My car's air conditioner is also non-functional, which also ranks highly on my list of things wich are lamentable. One thing I will never understand are people who claim to like hot weather better than cold weather. Existing in a permanent state of swamp-nuts to me is a far greater inconvenience than having to put on a coat.
On an unrelated note, I have been having some very bizarre dreams lately, which I suppose I can use to fill up several days' worth of LJ posts, perhaps even equalling my output from the last two years within a week's time. We'll see how long my newfound resolve lasts.
In the first dream I shall relate to you, my long-neglected but not entirely forgotten (though perhaps now completely nonexistant) readership, I dreamt that I had decided to completely shun society and live as an ape-man. I went out into the wooded areas of the suburbs of Richmond and hung around in trees, eating whatever I could find. Surprisingly, I soon found that I was able to swing from branch to branch with the greatest of ease, and was soon traversing large distances in this manner.
My parents, of course, were concerned for me, especially after I showed up in their back yard in my filthy, tattered clothing, eating leaves and rotten fruit from the garbage. They tried to convince me of the error of my ways, but alas I would not listen to reason. I was also much too fast in the trees for anyone to catch me. In a last-ditch effort, my folks hire a celebrity to try to talk me into returning to society. This celebrity turns out to be Jamie Foxx. I think the guy's pretty good actor, but I have no idea why he would suddenly show up in my dreams. Perhaps it's best not to wonder. At any rate, Jamie Foxx unexpectedly turns out to possess the same superhuman branch-swinging skills as I do. He easily catches up with me, despite my desperate evasive maneuvers and poop-flinging, and we engage in a very engrossing intellectual discussion at the top of a huge tree.
Jamie Foxx, as it turns out, is a really smart guy, and we talk for what seems like hours about whether American society is worth going back to, utilizing numerous historical and literary references. Eventually, my parents' plan backfires, as my evidently superior powers of reason convince Jamie Foxx to join me as an ape-man. We then proceed to swing through the trees all around the greater Richmond area, stealing food and flinging poo to our hearts' content.
Be sure to join me next time, when I will describe my eccentric English gentleman dream. Hopefully, that post will be forthcoming in considerably less time than has elapsed between my previous entries.