Oh March 26th!
There's nothing like wearing what you think is the most depressed look on your face on your special day. There's nothing that can duplicate the effect of the knowledge of your parents being drunk at dinner to celebrate you in a restaurant and then wanting to drive back. There's nothing similar to the repetition of a massive amount of "Thank You"s in a day that you don't even come to realize the concept of a genuine statement. There's nothing that can mount to the astonishment that you felt when you discovered that there's a type of sushi called "Calabasas". And there is no other joke that will get you to smirk the way you did when you read this statement: "Celebrities Return to Curves!" and then seeing this picture as their example:
As you can see, I don't think I could physically handle another day as this; it would just be far too exhausting. So please, whoever is in charge of the constellations and such, do not roll me another one! Despite what you may think.