(no subject)
i have a restless soul,
constantly i toss and turn for a new run.
it doesn't help that, it makes me mean like a snake
and that i feed the reptile by reading too much
jack kerouac.
i need to go. i need a change.
it makes me wonder if i ll ever be happy in love,
my soul is constantly searching for new,
and it's not because of lack of love for that person,
but because i need someone as quick as me.
today i ate too much cici's pizza, in result i feel
like a fat ass.
i've been brought back into doing more researching for the
Peace Corps.
today, in order to fulfill a taste of travel,
at the library i checked out a video on Morocco and France,
a book on Boston and on New York City subways,
and two books on Jasper Johns.
i know i should'nt but i count down days.
some days i wish i would have the guts, jump off a bridge and live to
tell of its rush.
alot of the time i think my need to constantly go comes from
the need for experience, culture, & making myself
feel more intelligent.
i mean it seems as if the intelligent ones are those
that we've read to drop everything and go across the country and survive
on diner apple pie or get kicked out of school for taking the risks,
being the controversy. it make my heart beat so fast in my chest,
to think of doing any of that.
could my wit be more than a foot in the door? could my words be the
facquet of warm water you can't turn from its comfort to turn off?
currently, in my other window i m searching south carolina state parks, maybe i need
a hike?
my grandparents told me tonight that my mother always wanted to live in Shanndon. I thought
maybe that meant up state, tucked in the fir trees or deep red sandstone?
i realized it was just on the street that leads downtown, where cottages lie, warmly lit.
it made me sad to think that it wasn't far from where she started.
it made me sadder to think she couldn't drag my dad away from the deep south.
and it makes my head stir thickly with my get away route. when, where, with whom?
i've had so many dreams lately. my old love always seems to be there. makes me realize how
much i miss him. how much i miss the ache of loving someone so much.
makes me want to tear down the living room's heavy drapery, wrap my petite
body within it and lie on the roof.
constantly i toss and turn for a new run.
it doesn't help that, it makes me mean like a snake
and that i feed the reptile by reading too much
jack kerouac.
i need to go. i need a change.
it makes me wonder if i ll ever be happy in love,
my soul is constantly searching for new,
and it's not because of lack of love for that person,
but because i need someone as quick as me.
today i ate too much cici's pizza, in result i feel
like a fat ass.
i've been brought back into doing more researching for the
Peace Corps.
today, in order to fulfill a taste of travel,
at the library i checked out a video on Morocco and France,
a book on Boston and on New York City subways,
and two books on Jasper Johns.
i know i should'nt but i count down days.
some days i wish i would have the guts, jump off a bridge and live to
tell of its rush.
alot of the time i think my need to constantly go comes from
the need for experience, culture, & making myself
feel more intelligent.
i mean it seems as if the intelligent ones are those
that we've read to drop everything and go across the country and survive
on diner apple pie or get kicked out of school for taking the risks,
being the controversy. it make my heart beat so fast in my chest,
to think of doing any of that.
could my wit be more than a foot in the door? could my words be the
facquet of warm water you can't turn from its comfort to turn off?
currently, in my other window i m searching south carolina state parks, maybe i need
a hike?
my grandparents told me tonight that my mother always wanted to live in Shanndon. I thought
maybe that meant up state, tucked in the fir trees or deep red sandstone?
i realized it was just on the street that leads downtown, where cottages lie, warmly lit.
it made me sad to think that it wasn't far from where she started.
it made me sadder to think she couldn't drag my dad away from the deep south.
and it makes my head stir thickly with my get away route. when, where, with whom?
i've had so many dreams lately. my old love always seems to be there. makes me realize how
much i miss him. how much i miss the ache of loving someone so much.
makes me want to tear down the living room's heavy drapery, wrap my petite
body within it and lie on the roof.