(no subject)
i think i was a day late for Buddha's birthday. sorry Buddha.
i wanted to do something a little different in recognition of the event. instead of logging on my lappy and surfing the web for a couple of hours, i avoided my computer all day. and after i did my volunteer thing, i went into the park and tried to meditate for a little while.
i walked down the nature path in the day use area and found a log right off the path. it kind of separated the path from a small, fern-strewn clearing and had a bit of shade from the slash pines. i set my bike off to the side, but kept my shades and helmet and backpack on. (i don't know why i brought the backpack. i didn't use the magazines or toothbrush in there. or change my shirt. too hung up on not having stuff around i guess).
i looked off to my left slightly and it seemed that i was in a corridor of pines. i wondered, was this part of the park previously a tree plantation? there are farms not too far away. i considered the ferns. i tried to picture energy transferring from the ground level to the understory to the midstory to the canopy and back. this was triggered by the pine needles falling everywhere, making me think of composting. i listened to the cardinals and sparrows and titmice and whatever else was calling. the breeze was strong and i watched taller pines sway up to 2 feet from their center lines and heard the wind weave and spine among the branches and leaves. i did start to relax. i even started to lose focus for a minute, but not enough. i think i sat there for over 30 minutes. afterwards, i felt somewhat relaxed and clearheaded after.
i also fasted for 24 hours, starting after dinner from the previous night. i ran this morning and my legs hurt a little. it wasn't a far run and i think it was from the fast and riding my bike. my previous fast was probably more than 18 months ago.
then, because the evening was nice, i sat outside for a few minutes. i normally avoid just sitting around at night around here because of mozzies, but i guess the breeze was keeping them from me. i looked at the big dipper and wondered who else was looking at it. i attempted to picture the Milky Way and i recalled how it stunned me when i first saw it. i tried to imagine what was happening in other places. i pictured an African walking along a sweltering desert. i TRIED to imagine misery that a refugee in/from Darfur would be experiencing. uncertainty, heat, hunger, fear, loss. i thought of Brazil. when it was dark in the Pantanal, the stars were legion. i thought of some tourists walking around in the dark, blissfully ignorant of the danger from tooth or proboscis, trying to make their trip memorable. and of the impoverished locals who probably haven't had the chance to see the places that their visitors come from but have copied the desire for all sorts of things. people who know where to go to find certain animals or plants. i thought of the porters in Peru who carry 50lb loads up hills at paces twice that of unburdened tourists. the fitness, for lack of a better word, that they have, while still poor as hell, sleeping 5 to a tent on the dirt floor without a blanket. i tried to consider the other people on this planet, who lack a lot of the things a lot of the people in this country consider a birthright. then i called it a night.
i wanted to do something a little different in recognition of the event. instead of logging on my lappy and surfing the web for a couple of hours, i avoided my computer all day. and after i did my volunteer thing, i went into the park and tried to meditate for a little while.
i walked down the nature path in the day use area and found a log right off the path. it kind of separated the path from a small, fern-strewn clearing and had a bit of shade from the slash pines. i set my bike off to the side, but kept my shades and helmet and backpack on. (i don't know why i brought the backpack. i didn't use the magazines or toothbrush in there. or change my shirt. too hung up on not having stuff around i guess).
i looked off to my left slightly and it seemed that i was in a corridor of pines. i wondered, was this part of the park previously a tree plantation? there are farms not too far away. i considered the ferns. i tried to picture energy transferring from the ground level to the understory to the midstory to the canopy and back. this was triggered by the pine needles falling everywhere, making me think of composting. i listened to the cardinals and sparrows and titmice and whatever else was calling. the breeze was strong and i watched taller pines sway up to 2 feet from their center lines and heard the wind weave and spine among the branches and leaves. i did start to relax. i even started to lose focus for a minute, but not enough. i think i sat there for over 30 minutes. afterwards, i felt somewhat relaxed and clearheaded after.
i also fasted for 24 hours, starting after dinner from the previous night. i ran this morning and my legs hurt a little. it wasn't a far run and i think it was from the fast and riding my bike. my previous fast was probably more than 18 months ago.
then, because the evening was nice, i sat outside for a few minutes. i normally avoid just sitting around at night around here because of mozzies, but i guess the breeze was keeping them from me. i looked at the big dipper and wondered who else was looking at it. i attempted to picture the Milky Way and i recalled how it stunned me when i first saw it. i tried to imagine what was happening in other places. i pictured an African walking along a sweltering desert. i TRIED to imagine misery that a refugee in/from Darfur would be experiencing. uncertainty, heat, hunger, fear, loss. i thought of Brazil. when it was dark in the Pantanal, the stars were legion. i thought of some tourists walking around in the dark, blissfully ignorant of the danger from tooth or proboscis, trying to make their trip memorable. and of the impoverished locals who probably haven't had the chance to see the places that their visitors come from but have copied the desire for all sorts of things. people who know where to go to find certain animals or plants. i thought of the porters in Peru who carry 50lb loads up hills at paces twice that of unburdened tourists. the fitness, for lack of a better word, that they have, while still poor as hell, sleeping 5 to a tent on the dirt floor without a blanket. i tried to consider the other people on this planet, who lack a lot of the things a lot of the people in this country consider a birthright. then i called it a night.