Crossroads
I never thought I would be at this crossroads. Bri, walked into the bedroom today, and announced that she wants a monogamous relationship, And that she can't ask me to change and give up the relationships I have. See, she wants to begin a relationship with somebody who wants to replace me, not be in conjunction with me.
I am having trouble grasping this. She came into this knowing that I am poly, and that that was a substantial part of my life.
Her flipping has cost me in the past. She bounced back and forth on granting me permission with J, and eventually that cost me her friendship all together. Her flip flops have cost me another friendship, and jeopardized one of many years.
What I really can't comprehend, is how this is playing out. If she wants to trade me in, I won't stand in her way. But once she makes that decision, there is no net. As of now, I have suggested that she go down and see this person, and see if there are the sparks that they think there are. (As of now, it's just online and phone) The more I think of it, allowing her to explore this is still giving her a net. Further reflection tells me that if she goes to see him, then she has decided to initiate a replacement relationship, and that should be the dividing line.
I really don't know where to go, or what to do. I do know I printed a whole set of divorce papers from the court website and have them on my desk here at work now.
I don't expect to find answers here. I'm just thinking. She has been hiding where that relationship was going. She was evasive when I pressed for answers to my concerns, and told me when i asked if we were ok, always told me we were good. Then she dropped this bomb on me.
I am having trouble grasping this. She came into this knowing that I am poly, and that that was a substantial part of my life.
Her flipping has cost me in the past. She bounced back and forth on granting me permission with J, and eventually that cost me her friendship all together. Her flip flops have cost me another friendship, and jeopardized one of many years.
What I really can't comprehend, is how this is playing out. If she wants to trade me in, I won't stand in her way. But once she makes that decision, there is no net. As of now, I have suggested that she go down and see this person, and see if there are the sparks that they think there are. (As of now, it's just online and phone) The more I think of it, allowing her to explore this is still giving her a net. Further reflection tells me that if she goes to see him, then she has decided to initiate a replacement relationship, and that should be the dividing line.
I really don't know where to go, or what to do. I do know I printed a whole set of divorce papers from the court website and have them on my desk here at work now.
I don't expect to find answers here. I'm just thinking. She has been hiding where that relationship was going. She was evasive when I pressed for answers to my concerns, and told me when i asked if we were ok, always told me we were good. Then she dropped this bomb on me.