(no subject)
So. I'm 25 now. It's strange, I remember as a kid 25 seemed so old, like an adult, and I just feel like a kid. When my mom was my age, I was 5. I can't even contemplate having a 5 year-old right now. I have so much respect for my friends with kids. Most weeks I spend anywhere from 3-5 days at my friend Ashley's with her son Dominic and just being around him can where me out... Of course Dom is Autistic so he's a little more to handle than your average 3 year-old, but very independent as well. I love him like he were my own, but I still don't want my own.
On the topic of kids, my best friend since we were 5, Deedra is pregnant as well. I am very happy for her, but as her and my other friends around me start having kids I'm beginning to feel I am the only one not growing up. Maybe it's my husband's age or just the fact that I don't want kids making me feel this way, but it's hard. I feel left out and I know by not having kids I will miss out on a huge life experience, it's just not something I've ever wanted.
So back to my birthday... I had a good party with plenty of good friends and a Little Mermaid cake. I didn't get nearly as drunk as expected and didn't have a breakdown either. You see, two days after my birthday was the one year anniversary of my dad's death. It was a rough weekend, but I kept it together well. I hate celebrating my birthday without my parents and although this was the third year without my mom, it doesn't get any easier.
In happier news, I've gone back to physical therapy for my knee. Within the past few months it went from being almost healed to hurting daily. I didn't re-injure it or do anything different, it just happened. So my doctor sent me back to PT which I started yesterday I am only going in for check ups and doing the actual work on my own as I can't really afford my copays right now. I have a check up with my ortho doctor on August 20th and if it doesn't start getting better he says I will have to have surgery. No thank you! So I want to work really hard at the PT, but it hurts so badly that I hate it. This is why they have given me more Vicodin which within three weeks is basically gone because I am building a tolerance to it and 2 just don't work well enough anymore... This also explains why my status is "high".
I could write a lot more about other stuff, but I highly doubt anyone cares and I've lost interest in typing as it is super hot in this room and I need a cigarette.
On the topic of kids, my best friend since we were 5, Deedra is pregnant as well. I am very happy for her, but as her and my other friends around me start having kids I'm beginning to feel I am the only one not growing up. Maybe it's my husband's age or just the fact that I don't want kids making me feel this way, but it's hard. I feel left out and I know by not having kids I will miss out on a huge life experience, it's just not something I've ever wanted.
So back to my birthday... I had a good party with plenty of good friends and a Little Mermaid cake. I didn't get nearly as drunk as expected and didn't have a breakdown either. You see, two days after my birthday was the one year anniversary of my dad's death. It was a rough weekend, but I kept it together well. I hate celebrating my birthday without my parents and although this was the third year without my mom, it doesn't get any easier.
In happier news, I've gone back to physical therapy for my knee. Within the past few months it went from being almost healed to hurting daily. I didn't re-injure it or do anything different, it just happened. So my doctor sent me back to PT which I started yesterday I am only going in for check ups and doing the actual work on my own as I can't really afford my copays right now. I have a check up with my ortho doctor on August 20th and if it doesn't start getting better he says I will have to have surgery. No thank you! So I want to work really hard at the PT, but it hurts so badly that I hate it. This is why they have given me more Vicodin which within three weeks is basically gone because I am building a tolerance to it and 2 just don't work well enough anymore... This also explains why my status is "high".
I could write a lot more about other stuff, but I highly doubt anyone cares and I've lost interest in typing as it is super hot in this room and I need a cigarette.