Moving
I have worked my final shift at a job I didn't think I was going to have to get. Fortunately for me I was presented an opportunity I didn't appreciate from the beginning. Thanks to the powers of the major corporate world I have not had to worry about getting a job in the new town.
The last few months in Tucson has been a wild ride with so many learning experiences. I never knew what it felt like to be stabbed in the back, forced to decide my own fate (and choose myself and my pride over the alternative), get adrenaline (among other kinds of) rushes so frequently, gamble so much, all while embracing the heat that causes sweat to drip down the backs of my legs (because in two months I will be cold and cold for a long time). I have developed an immense appreciation for long distance friends from so long ago.
I'm feeling the nervousness set in, but trying to think of it as the adventure it really is. If I will it, I will think it, and if I think it, I do it. There is, in the back of my mind, the notion that this is only temporary; a stepping stone in my path to the future. Someone asked me today where I would like to end up working and I replied that I would go wherever the opportunity presented itself. I liked what I heard once while a guy was describing his criteria for where he would live, "somewhere that palm trees grow." I would not like to spend a lot of time in places that snow, but who knows, I might like it.
One of the things that I learned about the relationships with the people in my life are that they are each very unique and make me happy/sad/frustrated/entertained in different ways. I want my life to be satisfying to the fullest and have learned a lot about how my heart feels. A friend of mine would say that I am very good at detaching my emotions, but I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing, more like a survival technique. People aren't mind readers and some don't have any common sense to even try to attribute reasons to others behavior. Taking the other person's perspective is difficult when you're required to suppress your own emotional response. One thing I forget is that other people can read me too.
I feel like I have really put quality time into studying people and trying to be observant. I think that serving has made me good at instantly gratifying someone and hope I am good at creating an enjoyable experience. I loved almost every moment at the poker table; the saddest times being the one's where I had to stand up and walk away. I think I put a lot of effort into school and have come out extremely appreciative of my understanding of the world and how some of it's components work. Knowledge equals appreciation which for me is equivocal to spirituality.
Eventually I want to be my own boss. I would love to be part of the development of a new kind of cognitive therapy and physiological response controlling. I'm hoping to either be on staff at a university, or working with a professional organization. I would love to write a book based on the success stories of the one's who persevered through and what their motivation was. But for now I am heading off to graduate school to a town where I know basically no one. At least Chicago is only 100 miles away and I have a sister there who loves me :-)
Thanks to the internet (and even the slow but romantic postal service) I get to stay ultra connected to everyone I love. I'm so lucky to be leaving town with such delicious (and I mean that in every sense of the word) memories.
The last few months in Tucson has been a wild ride with so many learning experiences. I never knew what it felt like to be stabbed in the back, forced to decide my own fate (and choose myself and my pride over the alternative), get adrenaline (among other kinds of) rushes so frequently, gamble so much, all while embracing the heat that causes sweat to drip down the backs of my legs (because in two months I will be cold and cold for a long time). I have developed an immense appreciation for long distance friends from so long ago.
I'm feeling the nervousness set in, but trying to think of it as the adventure it really is. If I will it, I will think it, and if I think it, I do it. There is, in the back of my mind, the notion that this is only temporary; a stepping stone in my path to the future. Someone asked me today where I would like to end up working and I replied that I would go wherever the opportunity presented itself. I liked what I heard once while a guy was describing his criteria for where he would live, "somewhere that palm trees grow." I would not like to spend a lot of time in places that snow, but who knows, I might like it.
One of the things that I learned about the relationships with the people in my life are that they are each very unique and make me happy/sad/frustrated/entertained in different ways. I want my life to be satisfying to the fullest and have learned a lot about how my heart feels. A friend of mine would say that I am very good at detaching my emotions, but I don't necessarily see that as a bad thing, more like a survival technique. People aren't mind readers and some don't have any common sense to even try to attribute reasons to others behavior. Taking the other person's perspective is difficult when you're required to suppress your own emotional response. One thing I forget is that other people can read me too.
I feel like I have really put quality time into studying people and trying to be observant. I think that serving has made me good at instantly gratifying someone and hope I am good at creating an enjoyable experience. I loved almost every moment at the poker table; the saddest times being the one's where I had to stand up and walk away. I think I put a lot of effort into school and have come out extremely appreciative of my understanding of the world and how some of it's components work. Knowledge equals appreciation which for me is equivocal to spirituality.
Eventually I want to be my own boss. I would love to be part of the development of a new kind of cognitive therapy and physiological response controlling. I'm hoping to either be on staff at a university, or working with a professional organization. I would love to write a book based on the success stories of the one's who persevered through and what their motivation was. But for now I am heading off to graduate school to a town where I know basically no one. At least Chicago is only 100 miles away and I have a sister there who loves me :-)
Thanks to the internet (and even the slow but romantic postal service) I get to stay ultra connected to everyone I love. I'm so lucky to be leaving town with such delicious (and I mean that in every sense of the word) memories.