Sick Girl
So yr little Elle is doing much better. I caught a stomach virus. Disgusting! And today I went to the doctors. Even scarier! I was referred to an ENT specialist next month.
So anywho, I felt like doing a list of a bunch of stuff. Just cuz.
It's been a year since:
1. I've been in London/Germany/Europe
2. I moved to the states
3. I've done anything physical with a guy
4. I've dyed my hair platinum blonde
5. I've had depression
6. I've had an addiction to cutting (I've cut since, but it hasn't been an addiction)
Reasons I think I might have OCD:
1. I've recently gotten a fear of eating or taking anything because I'm afraid it'll give me a fatal disease. I mean, out of all the chemicals they put into these foods, how many of them have they actually tested and found harmless? And how can I be sure? And what if I just happen to have a severe allergy to one of these chemicals? Hm?
2. I have a fear of walking on tiles and sidewalks because of the lines.
3. I always have to step around things that are to the side of me and completely out of my way, such as doorways, air vents, lightswitches, and basically anything with a potential square or rectangular shape.
4. Whenever I'm assigned a task like putting glitter on an item, everything has to be in a perfect pattern and order. I just can't do random. It freaks me out when one place has too much of something and another place seems to have slightly less of it.
5. I created this giant ballerina in my mind when I was 13 who would do perfect split-jumps. It was to help me envision what I needed to do for cheerleading, since the coach was getting on my case about my jumps not being good enough. But now, 5 years later, she continues to haunt me whenever I go out for a drive, having this consistant need to jump over every last telephone pole and roadway sign. She basically looks like me when I'm walking (the whole avoiding everything to the side of me), only she jumps over it instead of stepping over it.
6. little things will bother me. Like, today this doctor that I went to visit had a file that was paperclipped together twice, and one of the paperclips went crooked and I noticed it. And then it fell off and I stared at the floor until the doctor was gone and I picked it up.
7. I actually do those "friend cuts" thing (but I've tried not to do it on lj or myspace). Because unless a person on my list is valuable, it seems like a waste to keep on my list. And it really, really irritates me.
8. I check my email 20+ times a day. Yes, if you comment, I'll get it not long after, unless I'm sleeping.
9. I save word documents after every other word. Just so I'm safe if the computer freezes.
10. It bothers me that I have so many clothes that I don't use, I just want to donate all of them to a goodwill store and have a completly empty closet.
11. My nails used to be short because I had the habit of biting, but now they're short because they're always slightly crooked and I try to bite it off whenever I find any imperfection with it.
12. I actually came back to this entry about five times whenever I thought of something new to add.
Clues as to what that oh-so special gift is that my dad got me:
1. It can be "sized".
2. The box looks pretty big for it.
3. It's a gift my dad would even want to use (therefore, it's not something feminine).
Anyone care to help me guess what it is?
So anywho, I felt like doing a list of a bunch of stuff. Just cuz.
It's been a year since:
1. I've been in London/Germany/Europe
2. I moved to the states
3. I've done anything physical with a guy
4. I've dyed my hair platinum blonde
5. I've had depression
6. I've had an addiction to cutting (I've cut since, but it hasn't been an addiction)
Reasons I think I might have OCD:
1. I've recently gotten a fear of eating or taking anything because I'm afraid it'll give me a fatal disease. I mean, out of all the chemicals they put into these foods, how many of them have they actually tested and found harmless? And how can I be sure? And what if I just happen to have a severe allergy to one of these chemicals? Hm?
2. I have a fear of walking on tiles and sidewalks because of the lines.
3. I always have to step around things that are to the side of me and completely out of my way, such as doorways, air vents, lightswitches, and basically anything with a potential square or rectangular shape.
4. Whenever I'm assigned a task like putting glitter on an item, everything has to be in a perfect pattern and order. I just can't do random. It freaks me out when one place has too much of something and another place seems to have slightly less of it.
5. I created this giant ballerina in my mind when I was 13 who would do perfect split-jumps. It was to help me envision what I needed to do for cheerleading, since the coach was getting on my case about my jumps not being good enough. But now, 5 years later, she continues to haunt me whenever I go out for a drive, having this consistant need to jump over every last telephone pole and roadway sign. She basically looks like me when I'm walking (the whole avoiding everything to the side of me), only she jumps over it instead of stepping over it.
6. little things will bother me. Like, today this doctor that I went to visit had a file that was paperclipped together twice, and one of the paperclips went crooked and I noticed it. And then it fell off and I stared at the floor until the doctor was gone and I picked it up.
7. I actually do those "friend cuts" thing (but I've tried not to do it on lj or myspace). Because unless a person on my list is valuable, it seems like a waste to keep on my list. And it really, really irritates me.
8. I check my email 20+ times a day. Yes, if you comment, I'll get it not long after, unless I'm sleeping.
9. I save word documents after every other word. Just so I'm safe if the computer freezes.
10. It bothers me that I have so many clothes that I don't use, I just want to donate all of them to a goodwill store and have a completly empty closet.
11. My nails used to be short because I had the habit of biting, but now they're short because they're always slightly crooked and I try to bite it off whenever I find any imperfection with it.
12. I actually came back to this entry about five times whenever I thought of something new to add.
Clues as to what that oh-so special gift is that my dad got me:
1. It can be "sized".
2. The box looks pretty big for it.
3. It's a gift my dad would even want to use (therefore, it's not something feminine).
Anyone care to help me guess what it is?