sick
So i guess i must just be mentally ill because i can't seem to have the right reaction to anything so i just try not to have a reaction. Whenever i do it the wrong one. I don't know what to do when certain things are around and i don't know how to handle them when they keep coming up. Sorry doesnt quite work with these things no matter how hard you try or how much you say it. School sucks i have barely gone for the past few days. i just cant seem to grasp it even though it is the easiest class i have attended so far. but that could be why, i dont feel challenged enough so i just go for like two days get everything and dont have to come back for the remainder of the week. I told nicole i would go to her party yesterday but i couldnt because i had a family thing that i wasnt told about until like six o clock today. she hung up on me when i told her and didnt respond to my text message and i dont know how to take that. i told her i love her and that i hope she has a happy birthday. But i guess that wasnt good enough. Then i told her that i could see her this week or this weekend but she wasnt having that. My grandpa who i have not seen in a while is coming up and i dont really know what to do about that. My partner lives with me and he doesnt know about me or who i am .So that makes me nervous as all fuck. i do get to go to kitchen kaboodle with my grandma though for my birthday, that is exciting. all i want though is a new kitchen aid mixer. that is my number one thing recently but i dont want anyone to buy it for me cause it costs 300.00 dollars and i know that no one in may family can afford that. My step sister, Dezi was raped since she was four and if you didnt know has been living with us since last january. last week was her step fathers (NOT DAN, her bio mothers boyfriend, NOT HER BIO DAD WHO IS THE GUY THAT LIVES WITH ME) anyway that always seem to confuse people that is why i explained it like that. But this guy skipped out on his court date and took of with dezi's bio mom and know one has a clue where he is. and that scares the crap out of me, out of everyone. i dont know. no one will really care but i just needed to get things out.