In which I answer my own questions..
If I was a super hero, my 'tragic flaw' would have to be that I always want what I know I cannot have. It has always been this way. With pretty much everything. I strive to obtain a certain goal but then end up settling. Well I am going to stop. Settling that is. I have a plan to set myself financially for a long time. I am tired of being normal. There is nothing for 'normal' people. You wake up, you work, you die. EVERY DAY. Well that will not happen here. I refuse to spend 50 years having to go to a 9-5 job. I absolutely refuse. I will move to a distant island if I have to. All I'll need is a hut and a hammock. Realistically this probably wont happen, but if it comes down to it... I will do it.
Why do I hang on? I know it will be over one day. So why do I still care? It's because I can't stop caring. Sometimes I just wish it would be all over with. But mostly I want it to go on forever. It's kind of funny. Like life. We all know it's going to end, but yet we strive to keep going. Keep loving. Keep making memories with people that when we go, it will do nothing be make them cry. I suppose that this is human nature. To live. To learn. To love. To die.
The act of dieing does not scare me. I know where I am going once I do die. However, what does scare me is not living. I look at everyone grown person around me, and see nothing but a bag of bones that has worked their entire life. When did working become part of living?
I just need to catch my 'break'. It's out there, I've just never been looking for it because I was happy stuck where I am. Well, now I am looking for it. And if it doesn't come, then I will make it myself. I cannot rely on 'fate' or 'destiny'. It has been my belief for along time that our 'destiny' is that we will make of our lives what we allow ourselves to make of it. People say that God will put them where he wants them. I think those people are wrong. God will not put you anywhere for the simple fact of free will. He will give you doorways to go where he wants you to go, but if you do not try to go through the doors, you will be stuck in the same room that you have been in for your entire life.
To sum this post up I leave you with a simple qoute:
"I can't help you if you're not gonna help yourself"
Why do I hang on? I know it will be over one day. So why do I still care? It's because I can't stop caring. Sometimes I just wish it would be all over with. But mostly I want it to go on forever. It's kind of funny. Like life. We all know it's going to end, but yet we strive to keep going. Keep loving. Keep making memories with people that when we go, it will do nothing be make them cry. I suppose that this is human nature. To live. To learn. To love. To die.
The act of dieing does not scare me. I know where I am going once I do die. However, what does scare me is not living. I look at everyone grown person around me, and see nothing but a bag of bones that has worked their entire life. When did working become part of living?
I just need to catch my 'break'. It's out there, I've just never been looking for it because I was happy stuck where I am. Well, now I am looking for it. And if it doesn't come, then I will make it myself. I cannot rely on 'fate' or 'destiny'. It has been my belief for along time that our 'destiny' is that we will make of our lives what we allow ourselves to make of it. People say that God will put them where he wants them. I think those people are wrong. God will not put you anywhere for the simple fact of free will. He will give you doorways to go where he wants you to go, but if you do not try to go through the doors, you will be stuck in the same room that you have been in for your entire life.
To sum this post up I leave you with a simple qoute:
"I can't help you if you're not gonna help yourself"