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[tragic_stiletto]

I can't type. I can't type cause I can't think. I never said I'd do this. I always said I wouldn't. But it's gone too far and for too long and it can't go on. and i didn't want to die. i'm too sad. dripping. alone and i'm locked in the flat and i'm going to delete this soon cause it's pointless. my phone won't even work i'm just locked here. i can'

Comments

[elegiacstanzas]

I will never hate you Sarah. I care too much about you for that. When I said I thought we'd be friends forever I meant that. Do what you have to do, I can't pretend to be happy, but that's not your problem. Go your own way and we'll meet in the next life. Things will be ok.

[tragic_stiletto]

it doesn't have to be the bloody next life you know, it can be in a few months. i thought i'd die tonight, i probably won't. i'm sorry for everything. it shouldn't be this way.

[elegiacstanzas]

I use the words loosely, i didnt mean after we die... I meant the next life; Dublin this flat, it's one life and London, is another life. What comes after that another life and so forth. I'm glad you're not dead. I just wish you could actually speak to me about these things, before I leave the house. I didn't leave because you weren't talking, I left to get some fresh air because my head felt like it was about to explode with anxiety and personal chaos. I took glasses and that because i honestly didnt know where i would end up. And now im here, in the same room, but we talk via this. And that's fine with me so long as we do talk about it. I care about you and i feel like an ass telling you that all the time. But i do ok. Dont fucking die. Dont think our friendship is easily crushed. Do you believe in it too? I think you should live and storm the clouds in time. Or catch an ostrich.

[tragic_stiletto]

you know i can never speak, though i'm finding it increasingly difficult to type. sorry i misjudged everything, just felt personally responsible. i can't talk to anyone properly, cause i'm too useless, i'm sorry. the birds don't want me, i'll look to the sky. it's probably pointless.

[elegiacstanzas]

You're not useless, you just need to take that step we talked about last week. You have to Sarah because these things will plague you until you do. Try writing to Sevin even. He knows alot...

[tragic_stiletto]

i can't talk to anybody. not unless it's a text message/email. no one can help anyway. i'm just lost. it's crap, i'm so sorry

[elegiacstanzas]

They can help, you've not tried and you will never know until you do. Nothing can be worse than the pain you feel now. You can't get any lower can you? Everything is worth a shot. Please, Sarah, this is your life we're talking about. I know you can beat it but you have to try.

[tragic_stiletto]

i don't know that i can try. i'm just too scared. i don't want to speak to people i don't know.

[artistic_vices]

I'm here for you...

[tragic_stiletto]

Thank you Fliss. I hate posting stuff like this, but it's nice to get replies like that. My head just isn't in a very good place at the moment, but then that was probably quite obvious when you saw me. I know what I'm going to do about it now though.