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[tragic_stiletto]

I can't type. I can't type cause I can't think. I never said I'd do this. I always said I wouldn't. But it's gone too far and for too long and it can't go on. and i didn't want to die. i'm too sad. dripping. alone and i'm locked in the flat and i'm going to delete this soon cause it's pointless. my phone won't even work i'm just locked here. i can'

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[tragic_stiletto]

I'm sitting at home in my flat, Erin left cause I wasn't saying anything because... I'm not sure why. She didn't seem happy. She's probably away for the night. I'm too sad, I'm drinking too much and I'm being ridiculously, predictably stupid as always. Can't pinpoint the exact problem, it's just everything lately. cause i'm losing control. and I want to move back to my parents and save so i can move to london. but i feel like i can't cause erin would hate me. i can't be happy here, it's driving me mad. i'm too unhappy.

[tragic_stiletto]

thanks kasper, i told you these posts would be self indulgent! You just can't help how you feel, can you? I don't know what to do. x

[tragic_stiletto]

but it's just upheaval and annoyance for other people. and i love this little flat. i just don't know that i can survive here, i feel that if i stay here i'll be here forever i'll never live where i want to. the boredom will drive me mad and i'll keep drinking and feel awful. but if i move to the country it's like detox and i won't spend money so i'll save. i'll see my brother. it wouldn't be for long, it'd be ok.