i cant sleep
1:27am...sitting in my sisters basement on her computer. im suppose to be trying to get a better nights sleep than i have in the last two nights since my house has been taken over by these ignorant preaching assholes who seem to think that its ok to talk down to me about religion, sexuality, and abuse.
remember how i unintentionally told my father that i was sexually abused as a kid in the middle of the sexual abuse debate?
christmas didnt feel right this year. being away, being surrounded by people i hardly know, feeling awkward in my own home...thats not what christmas is all about. its not even about the birth of some baby which is written in some book that, ahem, "is not contradictory to itself, if you read back and forth from the old testimate to the new...you should read the bible..." (NOT MY WORDS THANKS, AND WELL...I HAVE READ THE BIBLE ASSHOLE). my own ignorance nipped me in the but with that one, you know, how december isnt when he was born and all. remember how i dont remember or know anything anymore?
heres a run through of the comments that have been thrown in my face in the last day and a half.
"thats not what dyslexia is..."
"just read more"
"grow your hair"..."why? because im a girl?"..."yeah"
"no no, stay here, i mean, be where you want to be and if youre comfortable then stay there, but i would feel bad"
"stay because you'll make her feel bad if you dont"
"it is the absolute truth"
"we tolerate other religions..."
you know what? i do NOT want to be tolerated any more.
i want to be LOVED and ACCEPTED because i AM a good person.
if you have to tolerate me, then you do NOT love me.
time needs to start flying by faster so that i can get home to you.
im sorry im not there...i love you.
merry christmas. sorry, i needed to rant. havent really said more than a few lines today.
next year will be different.
remember how i unintentionally told my father that i was sexually abused as a kid in the middle of the sexual abuse debate?
christmas didnt feel right this year. being away, being surrounded by people i hardly know, feeling awkward in my own home...thats not what christmas is all about. its not even about the birth of some baby which is written in some book that, ahem, "is not contradictory to itself, if you read back and forth from the old testimate to the new...you should read the bible..." (NOT MY WORDS THANKS, AND WELL...I HAVE READ THE BIBLE ASSHOLE). my own ignorance nipped me in the but with that one, you know, how december isnt when he was born and all. remember how i dont remember or know anything anymore?
heres a run through of the comments that have been thrown in my face in the last day and a half.
"thats not what dyslexia is..."
"just read more"
"grow your hair"..."why? because im a girl?"..."yeah"
"no no, stay here, i mean, be where you want to be and if youre comfortable then stay there, but i would feel bad"
"stay because you'll make her feel bad if you dont"
"it is the absolute truth"
"we tolerate other religions..."
you know what? i do NOT want to be tolerated any more.
i want to be LOVED and ACCEPTED because i AM a good person.
if you have to tolerate me, then you do NOT love me.
time needs to start flying by faster so that i can get home to you.
im sorry im not there...i love you.
merry christmas. sorry, i needed to rant. havent really said more than a few lines today.
next year will be different.