100% Times 2
Title: 100% Times 2
Prompt: None
Author: lttlbrightlight
Fandom: GazettE
Pairing: Ruki/Uruha, Uruha/Ruki, Ruki/Reita, Reita/Ruki
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angsty and Confused
Summary: If you give yourself completely to one person then how can you expect to give the same to someone else...?
Notes: Just trying to liven up the place...with some angst...hmmm, that doesn't sound right...:(
It's raining down harshly as he walks through the dark and desolate streets. Most of the streetlamps struggle to fight through the darkness to shed some light on the streets below but many are failing...he fails to notice though, lost in his own thoughts, drowning in his own memories.
"Shut up doofus, I can't." He pouted, his nose crinkling in distaste. He had tried and tried to reach the beautiful silver box resting neatly on the top shelf of their closet. The sun shining through the window into their room playfully reflected light off of the red ribbon and bow that tied the box together.
"If you want what's inside you have to get it." A smug smile formed on the others lips as he watched the shorter man trying to reach the box in vain.
"That's not fair Uruha, you know I can't reach it, can't I use a chair? Or better yet can't you just give it to me?" Pleading soft brown eyes stared at him and Uruha embraced his lover, placing a tender kiss to his lips.
"Well, I guess I could do that Ru, but...I don't know, I like it when you're pouty...those lips look more...seductive." The last word was breathed out as Uruha bent to brush his own lips over Rukis, but Ruki pulled away,
"Nope, no kissing until I get the box." He stepped back firmly, hands crossing on his chest as he stared Uruha down. Pout still on his face knowing that Uruha would cave.
"Fine." One long thing arm reached up and lithe fingers grasped the box delicately, slowly lowering it before holding it in front of Ruki.
Ruki opened it hurriedly and his breath hitched as he saw the silver chain laying neatly inside, the black stone in the middle catching some of the sunlight and throwing it back at the smaller diamonds that surrounded it, each one in turn glowing with all imaginable colors.
"Uru... it's lovely..." His fingers drifted and hovered above it, hesitant to touch such a beautiful gift.
Uruha smiled, content with himself for getting Ruki the perfect gift. "Put it on Ruki."
He looked up at those words, looking at the others eyes, gaze locked on the other as he told him everything he couldn't say in words at the moment, and he pulled it out of the box when Uruha nodded in response, he understood what Ruki wanted to tell him.
He reached a dead end and stood still, allowing the rain to pelt his skin, allowing the wind to slap at him, tousling wet strands of hair, and gripping him tightly. The moon was obstructed by the trees but it didn't matter, it wouldn't shine down tonight, not when the clouds blocked it from the city's view.
He could hear the roar of thunder, the rumble that reverberated through his entire being, he could hear as the water hit his flesh, the trees, the grass and the concrete but none of it mattered because no sound was louder than the voices he heard in his head as his mind replayed bits and pieces of his life.
"That's really beautiful Ruki, where did you get it." The blonde stared at the dazzling piece of jewelry hanging on Ruki's chest.
He beamed proudly, one hand reaching up unconsciously to stroke it lightly. "It was a gift."
"Oh, from Uruha..." There was a sadness to his voice that Reita didn't want to slip out, but he relaxed a bit realizing Ruki hadn't even noticed... but that in itself hurt too.
"Yeah, can you believe it?!? It wasn't even my birthday or our anniversary, it was just an 'I love you gift'. Beautiful isn't it? It's something I would have picked out myself." His fingers let go of the chain and it shifted a bit on his milky white neck.
Reita's eyes followed it as it settled, finally looking back up to be greeted by Ruki's beautiful smile. A smile that always made his heart race, always made him nervous taking away his ability to do or say anything other than smile back. "Yeah... we should probably get back to work, those books aren't going to fix themselves are they?" He moved away abruptly, not daring to meet Ruki's eyes knowing all too well how easily Ruki could read people through their eyes.
He stood there, on the dark corner of the dead end street, cold, wet, alone...
He stood there frozen in place confused, memories flashing through his head, just like he had stood frozen in place all those months ago, confused, images of both men flashing in his mind.
"Shut up...I can't." His chest hurt, or maybe it was his heart as it tore at him trying to be heard. Why had he done this, why had he come back, why was he still here? This room was inviting, it was comfortable, and it held countless secrets about him. "I can't..." it was barely whispered but Reita heard him and it was slowly killing him.
"Ruki," his hand cupped Ruki's cheek gently, pulling it up so that he could see his eyes, and he died a little more when he saw the thick tears escaping past Ruki's long dark lashes, "Ruki, I love you, why can't you be with me? What does he have that I don't? What can he give you that I can't?" His voice was laced with desperation. He couldn't loose him, he wouldn't loose him.
"I can't." He couldn't answer, he couldn’t choose, he couldn't even think. Sinking to his knees Ruki cried openly, hurt, anger, pain, sorrow, confusion, and guilt all being cried out onto his long sleeved shirt as he buried his face on the crook of his arms that were cradling his knees. "I can't do this to you, to him, to myself Reita. I love both of you... I don't know how, or why but I do." He didn't care if he was making sense, he just wanted the other man to understand him, even if he himself couldn't. He didn't understand how this happened. How was it possible to give yourself fully to 2 people?... It wasn't...It wasn't possible to give each one 100% of yourself but somehow he felt he loved both of them and it wasn't fair. The thought of letting one go for the other seemed insane to him, but he knew he had to. His thoughts were interrupted as Reita's phone rang. Ruki stiffened when he heard the nervousness in Reita's voice. It was Uruha on the other end. He could tell by conversation he heard on this end. "Yeah...he's here...I don't know...he fell asleep...ok." So Uruha was looking for him. He'd turned off his cell, just like he always did when he came over to Reita's. He couldn't bare the thought of Uruha calling when he was in bed with another.
The rain slowed but didn't stop, just like life seemed to be doing to him. Slowing so that the agony ripping him from the inside could hurt that much more, not stopping to allowing him more time, or to end it once and for all. He raised his face to the sky and cold droplets ran down the sided of his face, feeling like tears, mixing with his tears, taking away any heat the tears had left on his skin as they had descended. Uruha had cried too, hot burning tears that burned Ruki's flesh as they slid down the blond man's cheeks and fell onto his hands...hands that were harshly pushed away.
"Don't touch me!" Uruha pushed Ruki's hands away, still feeling them on his face but seeing them lay lifelessly by Ruki's sides. "How could you do this to me? I love your Ruki, I thought you loved me too." Anger had faded into hurt in those words.
"I do love you Uru, I didn't want to hurt you...I just..." His mind raced to find the right words but none came to him, he felt betrayed by his own thoughts.
"I bet that's what you tell him isn't it?!?" His eyes flashed with so many emotions that even Ruki couldn't read them all. "I bet you tell him that you love him too, that you wouldn't hurt him...I can't believe you." His hands gripped chunks of his honey blonde hair trying to drown out some of his emotional pain with physical pain.
"I love you Uruha, and I love Reita, what am I supposed to do?" He immediately regretted the question as Uruha's fingers encircled his wrist and his face became dangerously close to Ruki's own.
"Choose." One word, all it took was one word to brake him down completely and Ruki fell to his knees. He couldn't choose, and he knew that if he didn't, Uruha would make that choice for him, walking out and not looking back. And he deserved it. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs and his face was red from all the crying but he knew Uruha was waiting for an answer. He could only repeat the same thing he'd told Reita.
"I can't" Footsteps moved away from him towards their room and he cried harder. He heard the door slam and he slid his hands on the carpeted floor of their living room, crouching lower as the tears flowed from his eyes mercilessly. He was going to loose him...he was going to loose Uruha. Was it worth it? He couldn't live without Uruha, they had years together, and he couldn't loose Reita, who had been his best friend, companion, and steady rock for many years.
He got up, eyes red and burning, but he ran on shaky legs towards their room. It was locked. He slammed a palm on the wooden door that was keeping him from his boyfriend.
"Uru, I love you...please don't leave me." He could hear the other moving about in the room and his heart skipped a beat at the sounds of drawers being opened. Uruha was packing. He cried, he begged, he pleaded, he spent hours screaming and crying but the door remained closed and his weak body gave out as he sat by that door, finally sending him into unwanted sleep.
Ruki awoke to silence, his back against the wall. Looking back he saw the open bedroom door and he stood quickly almost running inside only to stop. The room was devoid of Uruha and many of Uruha's things. He had lost him.
Reaching up he ran his fingers over the chain that clung to his wet neck, this time there was no smile on his face. He'd lost them both when he hadn't even wanted to loose one. Life was cruel. Now he was alone. Uruha had disappeared from his life, and Reita had taken Ruki's leaving as a rejection. Ruki wanted to explain to Uruha, it wasn't fair to lie to him so he had left Reita alone after saying for the millionth time the same thing. 'I can't'
It hurt more than any physical wound could ever hurt. It scarred him deeper than any knife could reach. Over the years cut's on your body heal, sometimes leaving a mark that fades in time, the pain gone but the evidence remaining, dying out with time. But Ruki had cut's deep inside of him that wouldn't heal...they left their marks and never went away...never fading...never fully closing up or even attempting to heal...the pain wouldn't leave and the evidence lay there in the once sparkling now lifeless pools of dark brown in his eyes.
Prompt: None
Author: lttlbrightlight
Fandom: GazettE
Pairing: Ruki/Uruha, Uruha/Ruki, Ruki/Reita, Reita/Ruki
Rating: PG
Warnings: Angsty and Confused
Summary: If you give yourself completely to one person then how can you expect to give the same to someone else...?
Notes: Just trying to liven up the place...with some angst...hmmm, that doesn't sound right...:(
It's raining down harshly as he walks through the dark and desolate streets. Most of the streetlamps struggle to fight through the darkness to shed some light on the streets below but many are failing...he fails to notice though, lost in his own thoughts, drowning in his own memories.
"Shut up doofus, I can't." He pouted, his nose crinkling in distaste. He had tried and tried to reach the beautiful silver box resting neatly on the top shelf of their closet. The sun shining through the window into their room playfully reflected light off of the red ribbon and bow that tied the box together.
"If you want what's inside you have to get it." A smug smile formed on the others lips as he watched the shorter man trying to reach the box in vain.
"That's not fair Uruha, you know I can't reach it, can't I use a chair? Or better yet can't you just give it to me?" Pleading soft brown eyes stared at him and Uruha embraced his lover, placing a tender kiss to his lips.
"Well, I guess I could do that Ru, but...I don't know, I like it when you're pouty...those lips look more...seductive." The last word was breathed out as Uruha bent to brush his own lips over Rukis, but Ruki pulled away,
"Nope, no kissing until I get the box." He stepped back firmly, hands crossing on his chest as he stared Uruha down. Pout still on his face knowing that Uruha would cave.
"Fine." One long thing arm reached up and lithe fingers grasped the box delicately, slowly lowering it before holding it in front of Ruki.
Ruki opened it hurriedly and his breath hitched as he saw the silver chain laying neatly inside, the black stone in the middle catching some of the sunlight and throwing it back at the smaller diamonds that surrounded it, each one in turn glowing with all imaginable colors.
"Uru... it's lovely..." His fingers drifted and hovered above it, hesitant to touch such a beautiful gift.
Uruha smiled, content with himself for getting Ruki the perfect gift. "Put it on Ruki."
He looked up at those words, looking at the others eyes, gaze locked on the other as he told him everything he couldn't say in words at the moment, and he pulled it out of the box when Uruha nodded in response, he understood what Ruki wanted to tell him.
He reached a dead end and stood still, allowing the rain to pelt his skin, allowing the wind to slap at him, tousling wet strands of hair, and gripping him tightly. The moon was obstructed by the trees but it didn't matter, it wouldn't shine down tonight, not when the clouds blocked it from the city's view.
He could hear the roar of thunder, the rumble that reverberated through his entire being, he could hear as the water hit his flesh, the trees, the grass and the concrete but none of it mattered because no sound was louder than the voices he heard in his head as his mind replayed bits and pieces of his life.
"That's really beautiful Ruki, where did you get it." The blonde stared at the dazzling piece of jewelry hanging on Ruki's chest.
He beamed proudly, one hand reaching up unconsciously to stroke it lightly. "It was a gift."
"Oh, from Uruha..." There was a sadness to his voice that Reita didn't want to slip out, but he relaxed a bit realizing Ruki hadn't even noticed... but that in itself hurt too.
"Yeah, can you believe it?!? It wasn't even my birthday or our anniversary, it was just an 'I love you gift'. Beautiful isn't it? It's something I would have picked out myself." His fingers let go of the chain and it shifted a bit on his milky white neck.
Reita's eyes followed it as it settled, finally looking back up to be greeted by Ruki's beautiful smile. A smile that always made his heart race, always made him nervous taking away his ability to do or say anything other than smile back. "Yeah... we should probably get back to work, those books aren't going to fix themselves are they?" He moved away abruptly, not daring to meet Ruki's eyes knowing all too well how easily Ruki could read people through their eyes.
He stood there, on the dark corner of the dead end street, cold, wet, alone...
He stood there frozen in place confused, memories flashing through his head, just like he had stood frozen in place all those months ago, confused, images of both men flashing in his mind.
"Shut up...I can't." His chest hurt, or maybe it was his heart as it tore at him trying to be heard. Why had he done this, why had he come back, why was he still here? This room was inviting, it was comfortable, and it held countless secrets about him. "I can't..." it was barely whispered but Reita heard him and it was slowly killing him.
"Ruki," his hand cupped Ruki's cheek gently, pulling it up so that he could see his eyes, and he died a little more when he saw the thick tears escaping past Ruki's long dark lashes, "Ruki, I love you, why can't you be with me? What does he have that I don't? What can he give you that I can't?" His voice was laced with desperation. He couldn't loose him, he wouldn't loose him.
"I can't." He couldn't answer, he couldn’t choose, he couldn't even think. Sinking to his knees Ruki cried openly, hurt, anger, pain, sorrow, confusion, and guilt all being cried out onto his long sleeved shirt as he buried his face on the crook of his arms that were cradling his knees. "I can't do this to you, to him, to myself Reita. I love both of you... I don't know how, or why but I do." He didn't care if he was making sense, he just wanted the other man to understand him, even if he himself couldn't. He didn't understand how this happened. How was it possible to give yourself fully to 2 people?... It wasn't...It wasn't possible to give each one 100% of yourself but somehow he felt he loved both of them and it wasn't fair. The thought of letting one go for the other seemed insane to him, but he knew he had to. His thoughts were interrupted as Reita's phone rang. Ruki stiffened when he heard the nervousness in Reita's voice. It was Uruha on the other end. He could tell by conversation he heard on this end. "Yeah...he's here...I don't know...he fell asleep...ok." So Uruha was looking for him. He'd turned off his cell, just like he always did when he came over to Reita's. He couldn't bare the thought of Uruha calling when he was in bed with another.
The rain slowed but didn't stop, just like life seemed to be doing to him. Slowing so that the agony ripping him from the inside could hurt that much more, not stopping to allowing him more time, or to end it once and for all. He raised his face to the sky and cold droplets ran down the sided of his face, feeling like tears, mixing with his tears, taking away any heat the tears had left on his skin as they had descended. Uruha had cried too, hot burning tears that burned Ruki's flesh as they slid down the blond man's cheeks and fell onto his hands...hands that were harshly pushed away.
"Don't touch me!" Uruha pushed Ruki's hands away, still feeling them on his face but seeing them lay lifelessly by Ruki's sides. "How could you do this to me? I love your Ruki, I thought you loved me too." Anger had faded into hurt in those words.
"I do love you Uru, I didn't want to hurt you...I just..." His mind raced to find the right words but none came to him, he felt betrayed by his own thoughts.
"I bet that's what you tell him isn't it?!?" His eyes flashed with so many emotions that even Ruki couldn't read them all. "I bet you tell him that you love him too, that you wouldn't hurt him...I can't believe you." His hands gripped chunks of his honey blonde hair trying to drown out some of his emotional pain with physical pain.
"I love you Uruha, and I love Reita, what am I supposed to do?" He immediately regretted the question as Uruha's fingers encircled his wrist and his face became dangerously close to Ruki's own.
"Choose." One word, all it took was one word to brake him down completely and Ruki fell to his knees. He couldn't choose, and he knew that if he didn't, Uruha would make that choice for him, walking out and not looking back. And he deserved it. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs and his face was red from all the crying but he knew Uruha was waiting for an answer. He could only repeat the same thing he'd told Reita.
"I can't" Footsteps moved away from him towards their room and he cried harder. He heard the door slam and he slid his hands on the carpeted floor of their living room, crouching lower as the tears flowed from his eyes mercilessly. He was going to loose him...he was going to loose Uruha. Was it worth it? He couldn't live without Uruha, they had years together, and he couldn't loose Reita, who had been his best friend, companion, and steady rock for many years.
He got up, eyes red and burning, but he ran on shaky legs towards their room. It was locked. He slammed a palm on the wooden door that was keeping him from his boyfriend.
"Uru, I love you...please don't leave me." He could hear the other moving about in the room and his heart skipped a beat at the sounds of drawers being opened. Uruha was packing. He cried, he begged, he pleaded, he spent hours screaming and crying but the door remained closed and his weak body gave out as he sat by that door, finally sending him into unwanted sleep.
Ruki awoke to silence, his back against the wall. Looking back he saw the open bedroom door and he stood quickly almost running inside only to stop. The room was devoid of Uruha and many of Uruha's things. He had lost him.
Reaching up he ran his fingers over the chain that clung to his wet neck, this time there was no smile on his face. He'd lost them both when he hadn't even wanted to loose one. Life was cruel. Now he was alone. Uruha had disappeared from his life, and Reita had taken Ruki's leaving as a rejection. Ruki wanted to explain to Uruha, it wasn't fair to lie to him so he had left Reita alone after saying for the millionth time the same thing. 'I can't'
It hurt more than any physical wound could ever hurt. It scarred him deeper than any knife could reach. Over the years cut's on your body heal, sometimes leaving a mark that fades in time, the pain gone but the evidence remaining, dying out with time. But Ruki had cut's deep inside of him that wouldn't heal...they left their marks and never went away...never fading...never fully closing up or even attempting to heal...the pain wouldn't leave and the evidence lay there in the once sparkling now lifeless pools of dark brown in his eyes.