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i'm going to have a bit of a moan, bit of a rant, just to get things off my chest, i understand if you don't read it.
stuff has got totally on top of me. some of you may know that for the past 4/5 months i've been getting stomach aches after i eat, and stubborn old me only went to the doctor last week about it. i hate going to the doctor, mainly because there always seems to be something wrong with me, and if i just ignored the belly aches i thought they'd go away, but they didn't. my doctor put me on a trial of tablets to see if they'd help. i don't know if they have, now, instead of having stomach ache for an hour or so after i eat, i have constant pain, but it's a different pain, and i feel sick all the time.
what makes this worse is that i'm now getting abdominal migraines 2 or 3 times a week, which are horrible, everything you get in a migraine, plus throwing up and worse stomach. migraleve used to get rid of them, now it's doing nothing.
i don't know if it's related, but nerves are really getting to me. i normally deal with nervousness alright, but when i went to the royal academy in summer i didn't do so well. i got so nervous i felt ill and threw up, today i start richmond college, and i'm freaking out, i had a panic attack this morning when i woke up and now i feel nausious (sp?). i really don't want the same thing to happen as it did when i was going to the academy, because i know that once i get in there and start talking to people i'll be fine, and i keep telling myself this, but it's not working.
ti'm also disgustingly upset because i had to say goodbye to kenny yesterday. which was horrible, horrible, horrible. i lived with him for 2 months, saw him everyday and now i don't see him until tthe middle of october. it's really silly, i'm now crying onto the keyboard. he was the one that would cuddle me when i felt sick, and make me feel better, he came with me to my enrollment at college and he calmed me down heaps.now i feel all aloney and it sucks. it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't moving away from newbury, i can't even go and stay with him over the weekends now.
i promised i'll call him this morning, before i go to college, but i have a horrible feeling it's gonna upset me and make me worse.
i can't deal with being ill anymore. it's really really getting me down. everytime i have to alter plans or miss something becuase of my stupid stomach it makes me feel terrible. i just want it to go away. if these pills don't work i have to start having blood tests and "investigations", which scares the living daylights out of me, i'm petrified of needles and it makes it sound all serious.
i know it sounds like i'm broadcasting this for sympathy, but i really don;t know what else to do to calm myself down.
stuff has got totally on top of me. some of you may know that for the past 4/5 months i've been getting stomach aches after i eat, and stubborn old me only went to the doctor last week about it. i hate going to the doctor, mainly because there always seems to be something wrong with me, and if i just ignored the belly aches i thought they'd go away, but they didn't. my doctor put me on a trial of tablets to see if they'd help. i don't know if they have, now, instead of having stomach ache for an hour or so after i eat, i have constant pain, but it's a different pain, and i feel sick all the time.
what makes this worse is that i'm now getting abdominal migraines 2 or 3 times a week, which are horrible, everything you get in a migraine, plus throwing up and worse stomach. migraleve used to get rid of them, now it's doing nothing.
i don't know if it's related, but nerves are really getting to me. i normally deal with nervousness alright, but when i went to the royal academy in summer i didn't do so well. i got so nervous i felt ill and threw up, today i start richmond college, and i'm freaking out, i had a panic attack this morning when i woke up and now i feel nausious (sp?). i really don't want the same thing to happen as it did when i was going to the academy, because i know that once i get in there and start talking to people i'll be fine, and i keep telling myself this, but it's not working.
ti'm also disgustingly upset because i had to say goodbye to kenny yesterday. which was horrible, horrible, horrible. i lived with him for 2 months, saw him everyday and now i don't see him until tthe middle of october. it's really silly, i'm now crying onto the keyboard. he was the one that would cuddle me when i felt sick, and make me feel better, he came with me to my enrollment at college and he calmed me down heaps.now i feel all aloney and it sucks. it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't moving away from newbury, i can't even go and stay with him over the weekends now.
i promised i'll call him this morning, before i go to college, but i have a horrible feeling it's gonna upset me and make me worse.
i can't deal with being ill anymore. it's really really getting me down. everytime i have to alter plans or miss something becuase of my stupid stomach it makes me feel terrible. i just want it to go away. if these pills don't work i have to start having blood tests and "investigations", which scares the living daylights out of me, i'm petrified of needles and it makes it sound all serious.
i know it sounds like i'm broadcasting this for sympathy, but i really don;t know what else to do to calm myself down.