(no subject)
hi. well, i guess i'm handling this whole "ex-boyfriend" thing somewhat well? i'm done crying over it that's for sure. i haven't cried in awhile actually, go me.
i'm not sure what to say.. it's just i miss what we had? i wish i knew what he was thinking.
i dislike the fact that i'm a completely selfish person and i want what i want. but it seems like what we've been going through is what all he wants. i never wanted the "break" from the beginning, but he figured it was best for "us" so we're on a break. now i'm not completely sure what the hell he wants but i'm assuming he just wants me to stick around until he does need me which is where i fail to meet. i can't be "good" friends with him and act like what we had was something amazing and that i don't miss it or anything because i do miss it, more than anything. just me having some type of connection with him in the first place is just hard for me because i could barely look at him and be in complete denial when i say i don't want anything more of him. so while i'm all "dealing" with this dumb shit acting like everything is completely fine, it'll make him worry less about having or wanting to please me so why would he need to come back for me.
other than that, i'm trying to go out to live what i missed out on.
i'm not sure what to say.. it's just i miss what we had? i wish i knew what he was thinking.
i dislike the fact that i'm a completely selfish person and i want what i want. but it seems like what we've been going through is what all he wants. i never wanted the "break" from the beginning, but he figured it was best for "us" so we're on a break. now i'm not completely sure what the hell he wants but i'm assuming he just wants me to stick around until he does need me which is where i fail to meet. i can't be "good" friends with him and act like what we had was something amazing and that i don't miss it or anything because i do miss it, more than anything. just me having some type of connection with him in the first place is just hard for me because i could barely look at him and be in complete denial when i say i don't want anything more of him. so while i'm all "dealing" with this dumb shit acting like everything is completely fine, it'll make him worry less about having or wanting to please me so why would he need to come back for me.
other than that, i'm trying to go out to live what i missed out on.