short turm recovery failed.................
so this month I sort have lost ana ,lost myself in trying to be ok and "normal" when it comes to wight and food .Now I relize I just dont want to be "recovered" I dont want to be "better".So now hovering at a disgusting 100 lbs I think I will start loseing weight again its time to get thin and inbrace ana once again becouse i miss the way I feel when in a state of starvashion. I miss feeling my bones as much as i could when I was 90lbs .I want so bad to get to 85lbs its going to be tough but I WILL DO IT SOME HOW SOME WAY. I have to know that I can get there , that i have that self controll, the self disaplin to controll food , instead of let food control me. ~Amber
in other news ............
I servived my first week working at the ice cream shop , YAY! So now hopefully with haveing 2 jobs I will have good money hehe. and i will be ceeping myself so busy I wont be able to have time to eat and i will burn more caloroies being more active yay! .
also .....
My love & I are still doing grate <3 I love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he makes me so happy :) :) :)
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thats all for now , will try and update soon.
in other news ............
I servived my first week working at the ice cream shop , YAY! So now hopefully with haveing 2 jobs I will have good money hehe. and i will be ceeping myself so busy I wont be able to have time to eat and i will burn more caloroies being more active yay! .
also .....
My love & I are still doing grate <3 I love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he makes me so happy :) :) :)
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thats all for now , will try and update soon.