need an update ..

[tragedywhisper]

I know I have not updated much latly / just been going through some ups and downs. HMM well I am moved in my place its nice. Me and josh are doing good .Josh stayed over sunday , we watched edwared sisserhands (i love that movie) .I have actully strayed away from my beloved ana latly ,I went to the docters today and weighed in at a disgusting 98 pounds .I feel really dissapointed in my self , I was so much happier with my body at 90 lbs . I will lose the weight . I am going over josh's tonight he is cooking me a stake dinner with all the fixings , I am hopeing I can get out of disert (i am sure i can ) I will enjoy myself tonight even though I will be eating a big dinner because when I am with josh he makes me feel so beautifull and he treats me like a princess .This weekend josh is takeing me out on the town (meening not just dinner) I cant waight , I am going to where a super sexy outfit lol . So my goal is to only eat tonight and this weekend , then next week only eat 200 cals or less a day . I will be 90 by next week I hope , Then I can work on 85 .I realy need to stop binging , I have been such a pig lately . I am still looking for a job .I really need one . My roomate seems nice (although her extream love of puppies is odd & kinda scary lol) .Well I still have not gotin the chance to post pics up hopefully next week i can .
*Love you all*
I am off , back into my sad little world .