(no subject)
I hope you understand why i had to leave.
I hope you know that, through the sobbing and the heaving that night, I finally told you the truth.
That my self-worth was in too many pieces not to start being afraid.
For my sanity, for me.
And that if I stayed, I would never learn happiness, nor feel like I could ever deserve true and unconditional love.
There is a big void in my life now, as you can imagine. I hope you know how much you meant to me.
And how I do worry so much for you.
And how I often feel wrecked with guilt for abandoning you.
And how I still instinctively think of you when the funniest little things happen.
But in the end it came down to you or me, and after a year and a half, I decided I had to try me.
You seem to be such a Wolverine. I hope you really are.
Because it is so difficult not being a Wolverine.
How long it will take for the bleeding to stop and for the ache to dull away.
But the best decisions are sometimes the most painful, and I do not regret this one.
I am already beginning to pick up the pieces,
And I am filling the void with what should have always been there, me.
I am slowly on my way to a complete me,
And though this may sound ironic,
Maybe one day when I no longer need you, I'll come back.