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He completely doesn’t see my side of it at all. He thinks it’s his life, he can go see who he wants, do what he wants when he wants and it’s none of my business. I should just arbitrarily trust him because we're together. Well I trust him not to go fuck someone but that’s about as far as that goes. He’s told me too many stories about his younger
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Okay, there's the first problem. He's refusing to marry you because he wants to make sure that the woman he marries is going to be with him forever...does that mean that he thinks that you don't love him enough to be with him forever, or that he doesn't love you enough to trust you?
Second thing: "Yes I checked his bank account to see where he was."
Sharing finances with someone is the modern-day equivilant of a relationship. It's a step towards trust and committment. When a guy who you have been with for 3 years says that he needs to keep his finances seperate, he's hiding something.
Basic concepts. Trust, Communication, Honesty, Truth, and Honor.
Remember the first and most important rule. having a relationship is all about compromises. if there isn't any compromising going on, after 3 years, then something is the matter.
Here's a little exercise. Try it out, and see how it works for you.
I'm sure you [like most women I know] have a clue about what compromises that they've made, or agreed to. About the choices they've done or not done. Write down a list of everything that you've compromised for, chosen to do things with him, he's done with you, etc.
And then compare it to your memory of what it was like at the beginning of the relationship. If nothing has changed, perhaps you had best rethink life.
-A
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I will think on the things you said however. Thanks for posting hun.
:D
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Check out my LJ for more info
-Andrew
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