~LAUGHED SO HARD I CAME~
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE 40 MINUTES I COULD SORT OF HEAR BEN EDLUND CACKLING MADLY IN THE BACKGROUND OF MY MIND. I love how this whole episode was like his own personal Tall Tales: the cast and crew according to Ben Edlund, in the form of a checklist of things to make fun of!
A STRAIGHT MALE ENGAGING IN HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, BY BEN EDLUND.
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT FOR THE WINCHESTERS. ✓
BOB SINGER WAS RISKING HIS LIFE ON A SUPPLY RUN BECAUSE CLEARLY HIS LIFE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT ALCOHOL. ✓
[INSERT EXTENDED EXPOSITION ABOUT HOW SUPERNATURAL IS THE NEW GODFATHER.] ✓
DEAN THOUGHT "HEY"x2 WAS AN ADEQUATE EXPRESSION OF HIS ~FEELINGS~. ✓
BALTHAZAR JUST THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE. ✓
ACTUALLY BOB SINGER MAY SECRETLY BE A VAMPIRE. ✓
[INSERT SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE THAT CAS, LIKE CASSIE, USED TO HAVE A LOT OF SEX WITH DEAN.] ✓
DEAN WAS JEALOUSLY INDIGNANT WHEN BALTHAZAR REFERRED TO CAS AS "OUR DEAR CAS". ✓
CUE ANGEL WHO WANTS TO BE A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER WHEN HE GROWS UP. ✓
OH BTW THERE ARE A LOT OF RANDOM, CREEPY OLD MEN ON SET WHO ONLY WORK THERE SO THEY CAN MOLEST JENSEN ONCE IN A WHILE. ✓
AND BOB SINGER ENJOYS SEEING DEAN AND SAM BEING SLAMMED AGAINST WALLS WINDOWS JUST AS MUCH AS WE DO. ✓
THE IDEA TO BLOW OFF THE SCENE WHERE SAM AND DEAN SIT IN THE IMPALA TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS (DEAN: HEY. SAM: HEY. DEAN: HEY. SAM: HEY. ETC.) WAS SCOFFED AT, LIKE ALWAYS. ✓
JENSEN REALLY LOVED LOOKING AT PICTURES OF HIMSELF AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. ✓
AND HE SECRETLY NEEDS A LOT OF MAKEUP TO LOOK AS GOOD AS HE DOES. ✓
ANYWAY, DEAN WAS INCREDULOUS THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO WATCH THEIR LIVES, SAM FOUND OUT THAT NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE DID, AND THEN DEAN HAD ~CONFLICTING FEELINGS~ ABOUT THIS. ✓
[MAKE IT CLEAR THAT POLISH PEOPLE ARE "THINGS".] ✓
THEN DEAN DISCOVERED HE WAS THE FATHER OF SEVERAL CHILDREN HE NEVER KNEW HE HAD WITH HIS BABY. ✓
HE FELT LIKE HE WAS BEING BAD TOUCHED. (WHICH HE WAS, IF YOU'LL RECALL THE RANDOM, CREEPY OLD MEN.) ✓
SO HE PRAYED DESPERATELY TO CASTIEL, THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW HOW TO GOOD TOUCH HIM. DEAN COULDN'T HELP MENTIONING CASTIEL'S ASS IN HIS PRAYER, OF COURSE. ✓
ENTER MISHA, WHO ALWAYS STANDS ON THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN AND FEELING LIKE THE THIRD WHEEL. ✓
DEAN, NOT KNOWING IT WASN'T REALLY HIS BOYFRIEND, WAS EXTREMELY FUCKING ANXIOUS TO SEE HIM AND THOUGHT THAT "CAS"x3 (WITH A "HEY" THROWN IN THERE) WAS AN ADEQUATE EXPRESSION OF HIS ~FEELINGS~. ✓
[IT'S WORTH NOTING HERE THAT MISHA PROBABLY WATCHES TOO MUCH CSI IN HIS SPARE TIME, IF HIS ACTING IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.] ✓
[ALSO, HE FREQUENTLY DOESN'T REMEMBER HIS LINES.] ✓
ANYWAY, DEAN IMMEDIATELY GOT SUSPICIOUS WHEN CASTIEL STARTED TALKING ABOUT A ROOM, AND JEALOUSLY DEMANDED TO KNOW WHO WHAT WAS IN IT. ✓
[INSERT GRATUITOUS DEANFANSERVICE.] ✓
[ALSO A SUBTLE REMINDER OF JUST HOW BENDY MISHA IS, BECAUSE HE'S INTO YOGA.] ✓
DEAN, UPON LEARNING MISHA'S NAME, WAS PROBABLY REMINDED OF MISCHA BARTON, WHO HE DOESN'T FANCY AT ALL, AS YOU CAN SEE. ✓
STILL, MISHA STILL LOOKED LIKE CASTIEL, SO DEAN REALLY WASN'T PLEASED ABOUT SAM JERKING SO FORCEFULLY ON MISHA'S BODY PARTS. ✓
AFTER LEAVING MISHA, DEAN TRIED TO SEE HOW THEIR NAMES SOUNDED TOGETHER BUT DECIDED THAT "MISHA/JENSEN" WASN'T NEARLY AS CATCHY AS "DEAN/CASTIEL". ✓
MEANWHILE, MISHA WAS JUST BEING HIS USUAL 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL SELF WHO COULDN'T THROW FOR SHIT. ✓
AND WHO WAS TOTALLY HAVING A VIRTUAL LOVE AFFAIR WITH HIS MINIONS BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO BE HIS AMIGOS. ALSO HE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN WEARING THE PROMISE RING JENSEN GAVE HIM, BUT HE WAS DEFINITELY HAVING A FANBOY MOMENT OVER J2 TALKING TO HIM. ✓
UNBEKNOWNST TO MOST, JENSEN HAS A FISH FETISH AND ENJOYS DOING THE HELICOPTER WHEN HE'S ALONE IN HIS TRAILER. WHILE READING HIS OWN INTERVIEWS AND WATCHING HIMSELF ON TV. ✓
BUT HIS NARCISSISM ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO BEING THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING ABOUT HIM... [MAKE SURE THE FISH ARE IN THIS SHOT FOR EMPHASIS.] ✓
DEAN TRIED TO EXPLAIN ABOUT SOME SPELL, BUT SAM'S ATTENTION WAS ELSEWHERE (BECAUSE HE'S ALSO NARCISSISTIC). ✓
[ANOTHER NOTE OF INTEREST HERE: DEAN SUCKS AT DRAWING PORN.] ✓
[HE SUCKS EVEN MORE AT ATTEMPTING ANYTHING PORNY IRL.] ✓
THERE ARE SOME RANDOM, CREEPY YOUNG GUYS ON SET TOO, WIELDING STOP SIGNS AND TRYING TO GET JENSEN'S AUTOGRAPH. ✓
AND CLIF IS JUST FUCKING CREEPY PERIOD. ✓
CANADA WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY. ✓
SAME GOES FOR JARED'S HOUSE, TANNING BED, GIANT POSTERS OF HIMSELF, AND ALPACA. ✓
ALSO HIS WIFE. ✓
THE ALPACA IS LIKE A SON TO JARED. LITERALLY. ✓
AND THEY WANTED THEIR SON TO HAVE A BROTHER OR SISTER, SO THEY WERE THINKING OF ADOPTING AN OTTER. ✓
SOMETIMES JARED TAKES THE COWBOY THING A LITTLE TOO SERIOUSLY. ✓
HE SHOULD REALLY SPEND MORE TIME WORKING ON HIS SPANISH. ✓
MEANWHILE, JENSEN SHOULD STOP SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON FISH. ✓
[NOPE, JARED'S HOUSE STILL ISN'T NOT FUNNY.] ✓
NO ONE ON SET ACTUALLY THINKS OF JENSEN AS A REAL ACTOR. ✓
MISHA TRIED TO ACT LIKE HE WAS IN J2'S LITTLE SOCIAL CIRCLE (OR MORE LIKE 2-POINT LINE), BUT STARTED TO HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS WHEN HE LEARNED THAT THEY BOUGHT PARTS OF DEAD PEOPLE IN THEIR SPARE TIME. ✓
DEAN GOT A LITTLE CLOSER TO CASTIEL AND STARED A LITTLE HARDER THAN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO. MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY TIMES. AS USUAL. ✓
MISHA ALSO TOOK A MOMENT TO EYEFUCK HIS MINIONS VIA CAMERA. ✓
BEING SUBJECTED TO J2 WAS CONSTANTLY GIVING MISHA GREY HAIRS, SO HE HAD TO HAVE SOMEONE PULL THEM OUT IN BETWEEN TAKES. ✓
[IN CASE IT STILL ISN'T OBVIOUS THAT DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN NEVER STOP EYEFUCKING EACH OTHER, INSERT MORE EVIDENCE HERE.] ✓
THERE ARE, AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, A LOT OF RANDOM, CREEPY GUYS ON SET, BUT NONE OF THEM CAN EVEN BEGIN TO GIVE MISHA A RUN FOR HIS MONEY. ✓
DEAN AND SAM HADN'T BEEN SLAMMED INTO ANY WALLS OR WINDOWS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE, SO THE ONLY SOLUTION WAS TO DO IT THEMSELVES. ✓
IT DIDN'T GO AS EXPECTED, AND DEAN TURNED TO HIS FISH FOR COMFORT. BUT EVEN THEY COULDN'T COMFORT HIM WHEN HE WAS FACED WITH THE PROSPECT OF BEING IN A WORLD WITHOUT HIS FAVORITE ANGEL. ✓
[BE SURE TO MAKE JENSEN LOOK EVEN SHORTER THAN JARED USUALLY MAKES HIM LOOK AT SOME POINT!] ✓
WHEN JENSEN IS OTHERWISE OCCUPIED, THE RANDOM, CREEPY OLD MEN PRACTICE THEIR FLIRTING SKILLS ON UNSUSPECTING WOMEN. ✓
EVEN WHEN THE WOMEN AREN'T PHYSICALLY PRESENT BUT ARE INSTEAD OFF SOMEWHERE CRYING BECAUSE THEY FEEL THREATENED BY THEIR PREDECESSORS. ✓
ALSO ERIC'S NEW SHOW SUCKS FYI. ✓
BUT MOVING ON, MISHA CALLED SOMEONE ELSE "LITTLE" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GET INTO HIS TINY TOYOTA. ✓
HE TRIED TO TWEET TO HIS MINIONS, BUT BEFORE HE COULD SEND THE TWEET-- VIDEO GAME ANGEL! ✓
MORE IMPORTANTLY, BOB SINGER IS A DOUCHEBAG. ✓
AMIDST THE CHAOS, DEAN FIGURED OUT THE MEANING OF LIFE. ✓
TOO BAD IT WAS TOO LATE TO IMPART THIS KNOWLEDGE TO MISHA. WHO CRIES ATTRACTIVELY AND IS SORRY THERE'S NO MAGIC IN THE UNIVERSE. ✓
BUT HEY, AT LEAST HE WENT DOWN WITH THAT AMAZING SEX HAIR HE HAD IN SEASON FOUR. ✓
JARED'S WIFE SEEMED SUSPICIOUSLY UPSET ABOUT THE DEATH OF THE SEX HAIR. ✓
BUT IT WAS UNDERSTANDABLE, DEAN AND SAM ALSO WANTED TO GET ONE LAST GLIMPSE OF IT, SO THEY ASKED HER WHERE HE WAS STABBED. ✓
BUT ALAS, THEY WERE TOO LATE! ✓
SO THEY SIMPLY INTERROGATED THE LAST KNOWN PERSON TO WITNESS THE ATTRACTIVE CRYING MAN'S SEX HAIR. ✓
DEAN RANDOMLY GAVE AWAY SOME CANADIAN MONEY BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING ANYWAY. ✓
THEN HE REALIZED CAS WAS IN DANGER AND BECAME EXTREMELY DETERMINED TO STOP THE VIDEO GAME ANGEL. ✓
IF THEY SUCCEEDED IN SAVING CASTIEL, IT MEANT MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RETURN HOME. DEAN THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE OKAY FOR SAM, BUT HE HIMSELF HATED IT BECAUSE HE'D HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITHOUT CASTIEL. HE NEEDN'T HAVE WORRIED, THOUGH. SAM FELT THIS WORLD WAS UNACCEPTABLE BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T ~BROTHERS~. AND APPARENTLY DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER. ✓
ENTER ERIC KRIPKE IN A GIANT VEHICLE THAT HE USES TO COMPENSATE FOR OTHER THINGS. ✓
ANYWAY, ERIC [I THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING ROB BENEDICT TO PLAY HIM BUT THEN COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO KILL ROB] WAS JUST GLAD MISHA DIDN'T DIE IN VAIN. FRONT PAGE OF VARIETY, WOOO! ✓
BECAUSE DEAN AND CASTIEL WEREN'T AROUND, ERIC AND BOB HAD TO HELP FILL THE STARING QUOTA. ✓
ERIC STARTED TALKING ABOUT BUSTING IN ON J2 WITH GUNS BLAZING. ✓
WHICH MADE IT A VERY POETIC ENDING FOR HIM INDEED. EVEN IF IT TOOK THREE SHOTS BEFORE HE ACTUALLY STARTED BLEEDING. ✓
BY COMPARISON, IT ONLY TOOK ONE SHOT TO BRING BOB SINGER DOWN. ✓
THE GABRIEL-LOOKALIKE WAS THE ONLY ONE ON SET WHO SURVIVED. ✓
THREE TIMES THIS EPISODE. NOT BAD. ✓
ALSO, RAPHAEL BECAME A CHICK. ✓
[TO FURTHER EMPHASIZE HOW SMALL J2 ARE -- ESPECIALLY JENSEN -- REFER TO THEM AS MARMOSETS.] ✓
CASTIEL APPEARED TO APOLOGIZE TO DEAN FOR USING HIM BY FEEDING HIS WING!PORN KINK. ALSO TO SAVE THEM ALL FROM RAPHAEL, BUT THAT WAS A SECONDARY GOAL. ✓
DEAN CREAMED HIS PANTS. ✓
AND CASTIEL BECAME SO IMPATIENT TO GET HIM INTO BED THAT HE THREATENED TO KILL RAPHAEL IF HE/SHE STAYED A MOMENT LONGER. ✓
HE WASN'T GOING TO THREATEN BALTHAZAR SEEING AS THEY WERE FRIENDS, BUT STILL, CLEARLY VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH HIS CONTINUED PRESENCE. ✓
AS SOON AS BALTHAZAR LEFT, CASTIEL IGNORED THE ARROWS PAINTED ON THE PAVEMENT, IMMEDIATELY MAKING A BEELINE TO DEAN... ✓
...AND BRINGING THEM BACK TO BOBBY'S PLACE, WHICH HAS BEDS. ✓
BUT SINCE DEAN ALREADY CAME ONCE, HE WAS MORE IN THE MOOD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT CASTIEL NOT TALKING TO HIM MUCH ANYMORE. ✓
CASTIEL WAS ~TORN AND CONTRITE~. SO ~TORN AND CONTRITE~ THAT HE LEFT. ✓
WHICH DEAN FOUND VERY DISAPPOINTING. ✓
STILL, HE HAD STICKIER ISSUES TO WORRY ABOUT AT THE MOMENT. ISSUES WHICH SAM FOUND SLIGHTLY TRAUMATIZING. ✓
IN FACT, SAM WAS SO TRAUMATIZED HE TOOK IT OUT ON THE POOR DOOR FRAME. ✓
BUT HE GOT OVER IT QUICKLY AND LIVED TO BE RE-TRAUMATIZED ANOTHER DAY. ✓
THE END (SO DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN FUCK ALREADY GDI).
This was srsly what the episode was like for me. And Canada, Ilu, you know that. XD ♥
Speaking of Dean and Castiel, apparently the nightmare of trying to wrap up Secret Angels IV didn't permanently turn me off from running fic challenges after all. I had an idea the other day that I think (hope) will be fun and haven't seen done before, so look for another deancastiel challenge soon!
Meanwhile, READ THIS FIC: Ancillary Stoke by nanoochka. SNOWBOARDER!DEAN/CHEF!CAS. :D :D :D
P.S. Unrelated to anything, I watched Marksha's porno last night. The best part was where he had sex with socks on. That is all.
A STRAIGHT MALE ENGAGING IN HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, BY BEN EDLUND.
IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT FOR THE WINCHESTERS. ✓
BOB SINGER WAS RISKING HIS LIFE ON A SUPPLY RUN BECAUSE CLEARLY HIS LIFE IS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT ALCOHOL. ✓
[INSERT EXTENDED EXPOSITION ABOUT HOW SUPERNATURAL IS THE NEW GODFATHER.] ✓
DEAN THOUGHT "HEY"x2 WAS AN ADEQUATE EXPRESSION OF HIS ~FEELINGS~. ✓
BALTHAZAR JUST THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE. ✓
ACTUALLY BOB SINGER MAY SECRETLY BE A VAMPIRE. ✓
[INSERT SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE THAT CAS, LIKE CASSIE, USED TO HAVE A LOT OF SEX WITH DEAN.] ✓
DEAN WAS JEALOUSLY INDIGNANT WHEN BALTHAZAR REFERRED TO CAS AS "OUR DEAR CAS". ✓
CUE ANGEL WHO WANTS TO BE A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER WHEN HE GROWS UP. ✓
OH BTW THERE ARE A LOT OF RANDOM, CREEPY OLD MEN ON SET WHO ONLY WORK THERE SO THEY CAN MOLEST JENSEN ONCE IN A WHILE. ✓
AND BOB SINGER ENJOYS SEEING DEAN AND SAM BEING SLAMMED AGAINST WALLS WINDOWS JUST AS MUCH AS WE DO. ✓
THE IDEA TO BLOW OFF THE SCENE WHERE SAM AND DEAN SIT IN THE IMPALA TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS (DEAN: HEY. SAM: HEY. DEAN: HEY. SAM: HEY. ETC.) WAS SCOFFED AT, LIKE ALWAYS. ✓
JENSEN REALLY LOVED LOOKING AT PICTURES OF HIMSELF AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. ✓
AND HE SECRETLY NEEDS A LOT OF MAKEUP TO LOOK AS GOOD AS HE DOES. ✓
ANYWAY, DEAN WAS INCREDULOUS THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO WATCH THEIR LIVES, SAM FOUND OUT THAT NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE DID, AND THEN DEAN HAD ~CONFLICTING FEELINGS~ ABOUT THIS. ✓
[MAKE IT CLEAR THAT POLISH PEOPLE ARE "THINGS".] ✓
THEN DEAN DISCOVERED HE WAS THE FATHER OF SEVERAL CHILDREN HE NEVER KNEW HE HAD WITH HIS BABY. ✓
HE FELT LIKE HE WAS BEING BAD TOUCHED. (WHICH HE WAS, IF YOU'LL RECALL THE RANDOM, CREEPY OLD MEN.) ✓
SO HE PRAYED DESPERATELY TO CASTIEL, THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW HOW TO GOOD TOUCH HIM. DEAN COULDN'T HELP MENTIONING CASTIEL'S ASS IN HIS PRAYER, OF COURSE. ✓
ENTER MISHA, WHO ALWAYS STANDS ON THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN AND FEELING LIKE THE THIRD WHEEL. ✓
DEAN, NOT KNOWING IT WASN'T REALLY HIS BOYFRIEND, WAS EXTREMELY FUCKING ANXIOUS TO SEE HIM AND THOUGHT THAT "CAS"x3 (WITH A "HEY" THROWN IN THERE) WAS AN ADEQUATE EXPRESSION OF HIS ~FEELINGS~. ✓
[IT'S WORTH NOTING HERE THAT MISHA PROBABLY WATCHES TOO MUCH CSI IN HIS SPARE TIME, IF HIS ACTING IS ANYTHING TO GO BY.] ✓
[ALSO, HE FREQUENTLY DOESN'T REMEMBER HIS LINES.] ✓
ANYWAY, DEAN IMMEDIATELY GOT SUSPICIOUS WHEN CASTIEL STARTED TALKING ABOUT A ROOM, AND JEALOUSLY DEMANDED TO KNOW WHO WHAT WAS IN IT. ✓
[INSERT GRATUITOUS DEANFANSERVICE.] ✓
[ALSO A SUBTLE REMINDER OF JUST HOW BENDY MISHA IS, BECAUSE HE'S INTO YOGA.] ✓
DEAN, UPON LEARNING MISHA'S NAME, WAS PROBABLY REMINDED OF MISCHA BARTON, WHO HE DOESN'T FANCY AT ALL, AS YOU CAN SEE. ✓
STILL, MISHA STILL LOOKED LIKE CASTIEL, SO DEAN REALLY WASN'T PLEASED ABOUT SAM JERKING SO FORCEFULLY ON MISHA'S BODY PARTS. ✓
AFTER LEAVING MISHA, DEAN TRIED TO SEE HOW THEIR NAMES SOUNDED TOGETHER BUT DECIDED THAT "MISHA/JENSEN" WASN'T NEARLY AS CATCHY AS "DEAN/CASTIEL". ✓
MEANWHILE, MISHA WAS JUST BEING HIS USUAL 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL SELF WHO COULDN'T THROW FOR SHIT. ✓
AND WHO WAS TOTALLY HAVING A VIRTUAL LOVE AFFAIR WITH HIS MINIONS BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO BE HIS AMIGOS. ALSO HE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN WEARING THE PROMISE RING JENSEN GAVE HIM, BUT HE WAS DEFINITELY HAVING A FANBOY MOMENT OVER J2 TALKING TO HIM. ✓
UNBEKNOWNST TO MOST, JENSEN HAS A FISH FETISH AND ENJOYS DOING THE HELICOPTER WHEN HE'S ALONE IN HIS TRAILER. WHILE READING HIS OWN INTERVIEWS AND WATCHING HIMSELF ON TV. ✓
BUT HIS NARCISSISM ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO BEING THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING ABOUT HIM... [MAKE SURE THE FISH ARE IN THIS SHOT FOR EMPHASIS.] ✓
DEAN TRIED TO EXPLAIN ABOUT SOME SPELL, BUT SAM'S ATTENTION WAS ELSEWHERE (BECAUSE HE'S ALSO NARCISSISTIC). ✓
[ANOTHER NOTE OF INTEREST HERE: DEAN SUCKS AT DRAWING PORN.] ✓
[HE SUCKS EVEN MORE AT ATTEMPTING ANYTHING PORNY IRL.] ✓
THERE ARE SOME RANDOM, CREEPY YOUNG GUYS ON SET TOO, WIELDING STOP SIGNS AND TRYING TO GET JENSEN'S AUTOGRAPH. ✓
AND CLIF IS JUST FUCKING CREEPY PERIOD. ✓
CANADA WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY. ✓
SAME GOES FOR JARED'S HOUSE, TANNING BED, GIANT POSTERS OF HIMSELF, AND ALPACA. ✓
ALSO HIS WIFE. ✓
THE ALPACA IS LIKE A SON TO JARED. LITERALLY. ✓
AND THEY WANTED THEIR SON TO HAVE A BROTHER OR SISTER, SO THEY WERE THINKING OF ADOPTING AN OTTER. ✓
SOMETIMES JARED TAKES THE COWBOY THING A LITTLE TOO SERIOUSLY. ✓
HE SHOULD REALLY SPEND MORE TIME WORKING ON HIS SPANISH. ✓
MEANWHILE, JENSEN SHOULD STOP SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON FISH. ✓
[NOPE, JARED'S HOUSE STILL ISN'T NOT FUNNY.] ✓
NO ONE ON SET ACTUALLY THINKS OF JENSEN AS A REAL ACTOR. ✓
MISHA TRIED TO ACT LIKE HE WAS IN J2'S LITTLE SOCIAL CIRCLE (OR MORE LIKE 2-POINT LINE), BUT STARTED TO HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS WHEN HE LEARNED THAT THEY BOUGHT PARTS OF DEAD PEOPLE IN THEIR SPARE TIME. ✓
DEAN GOT A LITTLE CLOSER TO CASTIEL AND STARED A LITTLE HARDER THAN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO. MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY TIMES. AS USUAL. ✓
MISHA ALSO TOOK A MOMENT TO EYEFUCK HIS MINIONS VIA CAMERA. ✓
BEING SUBJECTED TO J2 WAS CONSTANTLY GIVING MISHA GREY HAIRS, SO HE HAD TO HAVE SOMEONE PULL THEM OUT IN BETWEEN TAKES. ✓
[IN CASE IT STILL ISN'T OBVIOUS THAT DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN NEVER STOP EYEFUCKING EACH OTHER, INSERT MORE EVIDENCE HERE.] ✓
THERE ARE, AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, A LOT OF RANDOM, CREEPY GUYS ON SET, BUT NONE OF THEM CAN EVEN BEGIN TO GIVE MISHA A RUN FOR HIS MONEY. ✓
DEAN AND SAM HADN'T BEEN SLAMMED INTO ANY WALLS OR WINDOWS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE, SO THE ONLY SOLUTION WAS TO DO IT THEMSELVES. ✓
IT DIDN'T GO AS EXPECTED, AND DEAN TURNED TO HIS FISH FOR COMFORT. BUT EVEN THEY COULDN'T COMFORT HIM WHEN HE WAS FACED WITH THE PROSPECT OF BEING IN A WORLD WITHOUT HIS FAVORITE ANGEL. ✓
[BE SURE TO MAKE JENSEN LOOK EVEN SHORTER THAN JARED USUALLY MAKES HIM LOOK AT SOME POINT!] ✓
WHEN JENSEN IS OTHERWISE OCCUPIED, THE RANDOM, CREEPY OLD MEN PRACTICE THEIR FLIRTING SKILLS ON UNSUSPECTING WOMEN. ✓
EVEN WHEN THE WOMEN AREN'T PHYSICALLY PRESENT BUT ARE INSTEAD OFF SOMEWHERE CRYING BECAUSE THEY FEEL THREATENED BY THEIR PREDECESSORS. ✓
ALSO ERIC'S NEW SHOW SUCKS FYI. ✓
BUT MOVING ON, MISHA CALLED SOMEONE ELSE "LITTLE" AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GET INTO HIS TINY TOYOTA. ✓
HE TRIED TO TWEET TO HIS MINIONS, BUT BEFORE HE COULD SEND THE TWEET-- VIDEO GAME ANGEL! ✓
MORE IMPORTANTLY, BOB SINGER IS A DOUCHEBAG. ✓
AMIDST THE CHAOS, DEAN FIGURED OUT THE MEANING OF LIFE. ✓
TOO BAD IT WAS TOO LATE TO IMPART THIS KNOWLEDGE TO MISHA. WHO CRIES ATTRACTIVELY AND IS SORRY THERE'S NO MAGIC IN THE UNIVERSE. ✓
BUT HEY, AT LEAST HE WENT DOWN WITH THAT AMAZING SEX HAIR HE HAD IN SEASON FOUR. ✓
JARED'S WIFE SEEMED SUSPICIOUSLY UPSET ABOUT THE DEATH OF THE SEX HAIR. ✓
BUT IT WAS UNDERSTANDABLE, DEAN AND SAM ALSO WANTED TO GET ONE LAST GLIMPSE OF IT, SO THEY ASKED HER WHERE HE WAS STABBED. ✓
BUT ALAS, THEY WERE TOO LATE! ✓
SO THEY SIMPLY INTERROGATED THE LAST KNOWN PERSON TO WITNESS THE ATTRACTIVE CRYING MAN'S SEX HAIR. ✓
DEAN RANDOMLY GAVE AWAY SOME CANADIAN MONEY BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING ANYWAY. ✓
THEN HE REALIZED CAS WAS IN DANGER AND BECAME EXTREMELY DETERMINED TO STOP THE VIDEO GAME ANGEL. ✓
IF THEY SUCCEEDED IN SAVING CASTIEL, IT MEANT MAYBE THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO RETURN HOME. DEAN THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE OKAY FOR SAM, BUT HE HIMSELF HATED IT BECAUSE HE'D HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITHOUT CASTIEL. HE NEEDN'T HAVE WORRIED, THOUGH. SAM FELT THIS WORLD WAS UNACCEPTABLE BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T ~BROTHERS~. AND APPARENTLY DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER. ✓
ENTER ERIC KRIPKE IN A GIANT VEHICLE THAT HE USES TO COMPENSATE FOR OTHER THINGS. ✓
ANYWAY, ERIC [I THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING ROB BENEDICT TO PLAY HIM BUT THEN COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO KILL ROB] WAS JUST GLAD MISHA DIDN'T DIE IN VAIN. FRONT PAGE OF VARIETY, WOOO! ✓
BECAUSE DEAN AND CASTIEL WEREN'T AROUND, ERIC AND BOB HAD TO HELP FILL THE STARING QUOTA. ✓
ERIC STARTED TALKING ABOUT BUSTING IN ON J2 WITH GUNS BLAZING. ✓
WHICH MADE IT A VERY POETIC ENDING FOR HIM INDEED. EVEN IF IT TOOK THREE SHOTS BEFORE HE ACTUALLY STARTED BLEEDING. ✓
BY COMPARISON, IT ONLY TOOK ONE SHOT TO BRING BOB SINGER DOWN. ✓
THE GABRIEL-LOOKALIKE WAS THE ONLY ONE ON SET WHO SURVIVED. ✓
THREE TIMES THIS EPISODE. NOT BAD. ✓
ALSO, RAPHAEL BECAME A CHICK. ✓
[TO FURTHER EMPHASIZE HOW SMALL J2 ARE -- ESPECIALLY JENSEN -- REFER TO THEM AS MARMOSETS.] ✓
CASTIEL APPEARED TO APOLOGIZE TO DEAN FOR USING HIM BY FEEDING HIS WING!PORN KINK. ALSO TO SAVE THEM ALL FROM RAPHAEL, BUT THAT WAS A SECONDARY GOAL. ✓
DEAN CREAMED HIS PANTS. ✓
AND CASTIEL BECAME SO IMPATIENT TO GET HIM INTO BED THAT HE THREATENED TO KILL RAPHAEL IF HE/SHE STAYED A MOMENT LONGER. ✓
HE WASN'T GOING TO THREATEN BALTHAZAR SEEING AS THEY WERE FRIENDS, BUT STILL, CLEARLY VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH HIS CONTINUED PRESENCE. ✓
AS SOON AS BALTHAZAR LEFT, CASTIEL IGNORED THE ARROWS PAINTED ON THE PAVEMENT, IMMEDIATELY MAKING A BEELINE TO DEAN... ✓
...AND BRINGING THEM BACK TO BOBBY'S PLACE, WHICH HAS BEDS. ✓
BUT SINCE DEAN ALREADY CAME ONCE, HE WAS MORE IN THE MOOD TO COMPLAIN ABOUT CASTIEL NOT TALKING TO HIM MUCH ANYMORE. ✓
CASTIEL WAS ~TORN AND CONTRITE~. SO ~TORN AND CONTRITE~ THAT HE LEFT. ✓
WHICH DEAN FOUND VERY DISAPPOINTING. ✓
STILL, HE HAD STICKIER ISSUES TO WORRY ABOUT AT THE MOMENT. ISSUES WHICH SAM FOUND SLIGHTLY TRAUMATIZING. ✓
IN FACT, SAM WAS SO TRAUMATIZED HE TOOK IT OUT ON THE POOR DOOR FRAME. ✓
BUT HE GOT OVER IT QUICKLY AND LIVED TO BE RE-TRAUMATIZED ANOTHER DAY. ✓
THE END (SO DEAN AND CASTIEL CAN FUCK ALREADY GDI).
This was srsly what the episode was like for me. And Canada, Ilu, you know that. XD ♥
Speaking of Dean and Castiel, apparently the nightmare of trying to wrap up Secret Angels IV didn't permanently turn me off from running fic challenges after all. I had an idea the other day that I think (hope) will be fun and haven't seen done before, so look for another deancastiel challenge soon!
Meanwhile, READ THIS FIC: Ancillary Stoke by nanoochka. SNOWBOARDER!DEAN/CHEF!CAS. :D :D :D
P.S. Unrelated to anything, I watched Marksha's porno last night. The best part was where he had sex with socks on. That is all.