(no subject)
i ran 7 miles today!! and then i had an epiphany.
so i was running along with brynna and i realized that i am a control freak. ok, saw didnt get it, so lets try to explain it calmly in the english language.
one of the reasons i got so upset over the weekend was because i wasnt in control. will not elaborate, but shaz and saw, you know what im talking about.
also one of the reasons ive been obsessing over bizzle mizzle was becasue i lost control at the end of the relationship and i wanted it back again. but now In my mind I have control now because it turns out he isn’t as good of a person that I thought he was and so I don’t want to have that control. So the new control I have is actually the control that made me stop missing him. did that make any sense? it does to me.
also the other thing that proves im a control freak is that when there isnt anything in my life that needs to be cleaned up i try to make stuff that i can control. like this weekend when i got mad at sarah i was just trying to find something that i could change to make better. i was creating a problem where there was none so i could feel like i was in control.
and thats why i like running so much; you are in command and you either fuck up or win. thats it. right or wrong.
wow, i feel so much better now. i think i actually learned somethign today. but now its time to do some h.core studying for hist because apparently "im lagging behind and my normal a's are b's, which isnt a problem, no need to get worried, but i shouldnt forget about ap" which basically means pass this test or youre fucked. fun!
so i was running along with brynna and i realized that i am a control freak. ok, saw didnt get it, so lets try to explain it calmly in the english language.
one of the reasons i got so upset over the weekend was because i wasnt in control. will not elaborate, but shaz and saw, you know what im talking about.
also one of the reasons ive been obsessing over bizzle mizzle was becasue i lost control at the end of the relationship and i wanted it back again. but now In my mind I have control now because it turns out he isn’t as good of a person that I thought he was and so I don’t want to have that control. So the new control I have is actually the control that made me stop missing him. did that make any sense? it does to me.
also the other thing that proves im a control freak is that when there isnt anything in my life that needs to be cleaned up i try to make stuff that i can control. like this weekend when i got mad at sarah i was just trying to find something that i could change to make better. i was creating a problem where there was none so i could feel like i was in control.
and thats why i like running so much; you are in command and you either fuck up or win. thats it. right or wrong.
wow, i feel so much better now. i think i actually learned somethign today. but now its time to do some h.core studying for hist because apparently "im lagging behind and my normal a's are b's, which isnt a problem, no need to get worried, but i shouldnt forget about ap" which basically means pass this test or youre fucked. fun!