college
i leave for cal poly san luis obispo tomorrow. kinda crazy.
the past couple of weeks have been pretty draining.
yvonne, maggy, then maeve left for school.
i've been alternately scared, worried, excited, and unenthusiastic about leaving.
i feel so emotionally drained right now, i don't even care. if it sucks, it sucks. if its great, its great. tensions between me and my family have increased so much that my relief in getting away from them cancels out my fear of leaving my friends. anyways, most of my friends are gone anyways. so it would just be frustrating to stay home. i just want to get it over with. i just feel awful about myself right now. i wish i weren't the person i am. there's so much that i see in myself that i hate. its hard to open up to people about yourself when you don't like that self. who knows how i'm going to do this.
and if you don't love me, let me go
the past couple of weeks have been pretty draining.
yvonne, maggy, then maeve left for school.
i've been alternately scared, worried, excited, and unenthusiastic about leaving.
i feel so emotionally drained right now, i don't even care. if it sucks, it sucks. if its great, its great. tensions between me and my family have increased so much that my relief in getting away from them cancels out my fear of leaving my friends. anyways, most of my friends are gone anyways. so it would just be frustrating to stay home. i just want to get it over with. i just feel awful about myself right now. i wish i weren't the person i am. there's so much that i see in myself that i hate. its hard to open up to people about yourself when you don't like that self. who knows how i'm going to do this.
and if you don't love me, let me go